amiel roldan blog

Crazy Blog : Seven Sons

2011-11-20T10:20:00.001-08:00

11212011

I had the strangest dream last night. The temperature in my room was humid and I knew that I was dreaming. I remember in my dream that I was gazing at my family in the past and future and that I had seven sons. Each bear a resemblance to me. Each slowly grew up before my eyes to be persons of worth. Strong, capable and great men of challenges. Each independent of the other but all looking towards me. I become prouder every second I see their accomplishments. I knew this must be a dream. I didn't have daughters to which I wondered. Yet the sons were from my loins. They traveled around greater cities and had their own families among them. I gasped at all the images. I could only watch and call each of them my own but from a dreamy bubble eye. Eventually, I was drawn farther away. Perhaps this is what parents were always meant to be. They would be witnesses and guides to their children and nothing less than that. I felt my heart would burst with pride yet I was scared that I was having a heart attack. I struggled to wake up but regretting I might miss the great life unfold before me and then I woke up.

I wonder what the dream meant, why seven and what I had to do? I know having seven sons would probably kill my future wife and that raising them all up would beggar me with too many distractions. I want a simpler life then. I didn't want the ending of my story. I didn't want it at all.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

Will Work for Art

2011-11-20T10:19:00.000-08:00

11202011

It's the last quarter of 2011 year. A lot of things had happened and passed. Changes have matured everyone including me. Body aches and pains seems just too normal now. Vanity and old age seem most extreme too. I have lost a loved one yet I had gained new friends. My family is strong. I have thrown my heart to corporate servitude to better oneself and it handed me back a gift to start anew without strings attached. I had gambled and hoped I would not be regretful for choosing responsibilities first and yet Fate hands my freedom back unexpectedly. Stakes are on my side this time around- older and hopefully wiser. I am ready to work my ass off for my artmaking and to no one. I don't want to miss out on an important part. I want to breathe again.

They say when Serendipity smiles on you, you have to catch it with open arms. She has smiled at me many times and I had to let go. Yet, she smiles again and this time I could catch it with open arms and hopefully I would reach my own dreams now.

Sacrifice was a trait I had grown up. Religion has a lot to account for that. I grew up expecting that no good things came easily. So I had to work for it and wait until the right opportunity and signs. I waited mostly. I learned it was inevitable for me to reach my goals but between that and starting, I had some hard priorities first. It took more than a decade but the wait is well worth it.

I saw a funny account about a man wearing his best Halloween beggar costume with a placard bearing "Will work for an Iphone 4S". It made me think on just how much I would have to work for my artmaking if given the chance again?

My artmaking makes me proud and it also makes me broke- a friend's account seem to ring true. It is a jealous mistress if not a nagging wife. I am married to artmaking. Until I get this off my system, I probably wouldn't look hard to get married soon.

I chose a better year to start again. I am older and I have more time. I have my health and have the disposition now. I have my artmaking again. I had watched and learned inevitable lessons in life. Many of those that rose to early fame and wealth are nowhere there now. They forgot that simple things or achievements are what makes greater things more shinier. Those who kept a great hold and never let go had gone paranoid- losing simple friends. I hope they had been happy. They certainly dazzled the art scene. I hope they know what they have and don't have.

I have been passing my portfolios around again hoping for solo exhibitions. I know I am starting from ground zero but am enjoying the view from that perspective. I am lucky I know my way around. I am picking galleries I had good relations with before and which kept my interests on. I am also ambitious to work with the best galleries abroad. After a number of art administrative offers I learned to grin some more. There would be someplace for my own art I just have to make space and find my niche.

When I started my profession, I knew what I wanted was just to exhibit and paint. I met friends who wanted to do the same. I met friends who wanted also differently. I encountered some obstacles because I cared what others thought first. Nuances of what I wanted and what I did not want to do. I could not go on as I got distracted. Despite finding what I wanted to do, I cared what others wanted to do too. I waited and learned to do everything. It took me a long time while others passed me, I grinned and pushed on. I knew somehow everything would fall into place, that people would always be kind and happy about their dreams too and that was the key on how to be content with life. But somehow between their dreams, their artmaking and their choices they had regrets.

I always wish that as I grow older and every time I asses my life I would never have regrets and never be unhappy about my choices.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

Lamenting on "Ifs"

2011-11-09T21:12:00.000-08:00

11102011

The past few months were a trial. I have been quite busy with going around exhibitions, inventory, painting and promoting my own works around. I guess it is a humbling situation to be bogged down most of the time. I keep a positive outlook and persevere always. I am well rewarded by patience and sincerity of most people. I enjoy life and I hope to enjoy living it up. I keep life's challenges at an arm's length and the gains in the same light. We are always better on the next attempt and we just go on with it. I have treated it well and no more regrets for me today. I have more choices in life than I could handle and I thrive on these sudden events.

Preparing and being prepared for the unexpected has their advantages. I had prepared all my life and worried much but that doesn't make my life complete. It just makes it bearable and convenient. We have only this lifetime to do the things we dream. It just starts this minute and let life lead you a merry chase. As an artist, I have the flexibility of time and attention to details. I am back to stay and make this count. Prestige and fame has come and gone. Memories leaves wanting yet satisfaction always if one has tested one's boundaries always. I hope in this I dont have to many regrets to burden me. I always have thought that seeking out the best people in their own fields and sharing lifetime and their thoughts bring about a more fruitful and fulfilled life.

In this lifetime we also need to pass on forward all that we can. In having shared the greatest experiences and triumphs, I feel accomplished and content. In helping others especially the young ones about life then a greater plan unfolds. If one could be all then all for the best. If it proves to be another challenge then we take it as such.

I find that as long as I could do a little bit in life, I do not worry about making it count. I fear always that I could not do my best at all times but who does? We only have the approximation of our best. We have ourselves to retrospect and a nagging self is a bad company.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

Nice Girls are Made Up of Cups, Saucers, Pendants and Everything Nice!

2011-10-07T03:32:00.000-07:00

10072011

A lot of people are probably going to be pissed. The blog title started on a different note. I admire very few works and artists. I hate hyping as I believe that better artists and works could stand on their own merits. I seldom take more than necessary for a press release. I rather like taking liberties with the ideas and images with my own article though. I am sometimes a bit frank and a little detrimental if I get get carried away. But I say what I want to say. If I don't like an exhibit I wouldn't mention it. I don't take detailed pictures much and I just have the layout photo for future references. If I don't like an artist lo behold I get overly creative and critical. I think I could be worse. I am worse. Sometimes it merits more reference.

I don't like taking all the fun off an exhibit. I consider an artist taking the risk with presenting his works at a good venue. My documentations are for wetting up the viewers appetite. It is not meant to take away the experience of time, sounds and the venue itself. I love going around shows both with the noisy crowd and on my own. Those are experiences I treasure much and my blogs and photographs are very supportive of those thrusts. Go to galleries and watch exhibitions. The experience is enlightening and educational.

Two noteworthy exhibits that I believe in were by women artists. I am happy that both grew and continue to progress in their works. I hope that they would continue to work with their inspirations and challenge norms and concepts as well as skills and character. Men artists could be so full of ourselves that quite strength sometimes are what is needed. Simplicity and vision could be lost rather that pushed forward.

I got carried away yesterday with my visit at Tin-aw Gallery. It is a good place to visit when you have the time. You would always have an entertaining time looking at their exhibitions. I met friends there and a good staple of gallery hopping. The owners Maria and Dawn loves to talk. Ha ha ha ha ha. Sharing a cup of coffee and good conversation about the art scene completes my day. I forget time when this rarity happens. Even though they were preparing for an night's grand opening at Finale with Mark Justiniani's, I get almost three hours of good insight, marvelous time plus a well curated Pam Yan Santos show titled "They Are Birds If They Fly".

I didn't get to visit Keiye Miranda's exhibition "Strangely Familiar". My loss. I only saw the pictures posted on the net. Perhaps, it should be a good thing. I was impressed with the pictures and the concept. I would rather though have only the pendants present. It's my opinion though that it could have well stood on its own.

A lot of artists have the tendency to clutter their exhibitions with explorations, studies, improper notations and highfalutin exhibition notes that is frankly grandstanding of most curator's to be and impassioned idiot writers. An exhibition to be strong should not have distractions. I would have the artist show through his body of work not bodies of work. A show is not a portfolio but fine tuned offerings. It is well thought off and the best the artist could offer at this time. To have old works and references rather makes it pathetic. I have it that exhibition notes are there to give insights otherwise not known. To have another writer write their own interpretation, melodrama and reference on other works take away more than it gives. If your're the artist you wouldn't want to have the show taken away from you.

Some artists also are there more for the sentimentality. Boring. It brook on idiosyncrasy, dead end and stagnation. Fools.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at

www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

www.amielroldan.wordpress.com

www.amielroldan.blogspot.com

www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html

www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan

www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan

please comment and tag if you like my compilations.

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com

amiel.roldan@gmail.com

The Bisaya and the Alog

2011-10-04T00:19:00.000-07:00

10042011

My grandfather's ancestors hailed from the province of Ilo-ilo a long time ago. It was a time when nights were the blackest and nature provided sustenance to those who toil and take care of her. We were not landed from that part of the family yet those from my father side were from a robust stock. My grandfather Gerardo was eldest of 12 siblings from Cabatuan, Ilo-ilo. The province of Ilo-ilo had many Spanish descendants as well as chinese immigrants. His father, my grandfather Jose, died early leaving his mother Maria sole provider for the big family. Grandfather Jose wasn't educated and earned minimally from what he could eke out. So they struggled and had no property of their own. Though their struggles were felt somewhat through early years the family survived. They had an older soldier son who died during the war early eventually leaving my grandmother a soldier's pension through her old years. My grandfather Gerardo being the eldest now had opportunity to learn how to read and write. This knowledge saved him a number of times through the years. It gave him the assurance of writing his name and filing for pension after the war. Later it brought him to America as a veteran soldier. Some of their children grew up and eventually had families abroad. His siblings were able to live comfortably but were not a wealthy clan. Most became soldiers and seamen. We were prone to gamble and vices and those contributed to the struggle.

My grandfather Gerardo later married my grandmother Brigida from an educated family. My grandfather Jose, her father, was not that wealthy but schooled and later became a banker in town. Grandfather Jose was also the village head chief. Villagers sought his opinions for years as the rare educated man of the village. He was educated until grade six and that afforded him the opportunity to teach as a profession. He married my grandmother Elvira, a well-landed lass from a prominent family and settled in Badjiang, Iloilo - my grandmother Elvira's land. There they took care of their brood of 10 children. My grandmother and my grandfather settled for a time in her mother's village. This provided well. The children grew up among other relatives and nurtured the land. The food was abundant, livestock were plentiful, and produce provided for all. Fruit bearing trees were ripe for the pickings, eggs were picked early on by younger children to store and eat for breakfast and there was no want. They didn't buy any food but grew them around. The family flourished. They traded among town folks. Land grew wider.

Then the war came. Landed people hid among the villagers and were set back for their safety. Produce left untended. They toiled and never imagined the changes to come. Men and women went to war. Hunger for those in the run and for those left behind servitude. They fought almost naked and in sacks they could scourge around. They waited with just the assurance that their few weapons would be enough to fight the Japanese coming from Lingayen. But they were ill prepared when the Japanese soldiers eventually came. They were on bicycles and with tanks that took the towns and the provinces by storm. They were ruthless and disciplined. They were at their gates in less time that the Filipino soldiers expected so the people fled and became guerrillas. In less than six months the clothes on the guerrillas who fought were shredded beyond use. But they were supported with later with weapons and guns by the war and the allied Americans who promised to help. When the Americans came they fought with them. The province and parts of the Philippines were under Japanese rule. When the Americans left they still fought. Children grew up with the war. My family survived but some died too. Accounts tells that they helped hide people sought by the Japanese. Being educated afforded them to be more prepared. While the war was being fought, it seemed my family survived. Sons and daughters grew up to be fathers and mothers. When we won the war it was not the same place they grew up in. Men had their guns and kept guns and ammunition in their homes. Women now afforded to learn and work. Children became more craftier. A new awareness they would bring with them when they grew up. Learning from the Japanese and eventually the Americans another way of life and survival. They learned the ways of the West. Among these to feed on imported products. Cigarettes were abundant during the war, canned goods and chocolates. What we toiled from around us we now had in wrappers and shipped around. The lack of discipline and vices shredded morals as the good people tried to build the country back.

My grandfather Gerardo and grandmother Brigida later moved to Mandaluyong, Manila. My grandfather worked in an office and my grandmother worked in an overseas call telephone company. Between them the family survived. They had eight children. The eldest was afforded a soldiers scholarship from my grandfather. The second son named Gerardo, they paid for in education. The third named Cesar(my father), worked and paid for his education. They became the pillars of the now smaller family in Manila. The three sons became lawyers. They had several younger children and between the adults and the older siblings, they all took care of their new home. Struggling from the trauma of the war and dislocation, the city life offered a novelty and hope too. The youngest named Narciso, they eventually brought to America later on. Another son Robert followed but settled eventually in Canada in adulthood. Another son Jose stayed in the Philippines. Daughters married and had their own family. We again had a big family but this time of a Bisaya and Aglog descent. We are the Bertiz - Roldan Family in Manila. My grandmother died while in America. My grandfather later married my stepgrandmother Saling and adopted children who also became Americans. Still surviving today in her years in her own house, my grandmother lives with grandfather's American pension.

There were more for the family yet there were also less. We never had the large mass land again to run around. I grew up in Mandaluyong where my grandfather and grandmother stayed and first settled in. There were few of us here. The other three Roldan brothers left in Manila settled around and we became a compound of close relatives. I still think of all the struggles and triumphs the family had. I still imagine the roots that we nurtured. Yet life goes on and this time life will go on for a newer generation.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

Disclosures

2011-10-03T06:29:00.000-07:00

My Humblest Apologies.

Greetings!

I would like to create this blog for all my writings, poetries and random thoughts.

I wish I had the patience to continue to post, edit and reedit my writings . I enjoy writing a lot. I believe that we should continue to improve ourselves for the best. Explore different avenues that we could complement what we like to do. I am proud that I have been able to share my works with other people. I know I missed a lot of spellings. I have quite long sentences. I don't follow conventional writing. I had hope I would be much aware of these as I grow into writing. But Alas! I tend to drag and be emotional about accounts. I just want to capture the moment… and when I am done I just don’t have the heart to edit it the same day… I just recently noticed that they are being read and commented upon… My many apologies… I have the idea that I would still have time to reedit…

I would like to share thoughts and in some accounts I could be brutal, frank and in others flighty and vague. I apologize that I may cause some sleepless nights to unfortunate people . I believe that we could do justice to great people, accounts, thoughts and good works if we could be able to capture them somehow in an impartial and up to date writeups. I am excited to include photos and actual images and artworks to my compilations. I would just take time to enjoy the discovery and revelations in this tech application. The blogging world is a source of wonder for me now.. Ha ha ha ha ha… I just wanted a portfolio I could look back and work on… I was hoping that they would be in place still when I read them again.. I keep losing my writings. I think that an hour is lost forever when I accidentally delete one or throw them away with trash… I am sorry that the works are ever in progress still … I have no concept of publish and save still… The blog is a space to file I could not ignore and not explore … I dreaded emails now because they could be deleted if you fail to log in a few months… Many thanks to those who read patiently through some early works … Again my humblest apologies… I would like to post my blogs about people, places, art, stories, concepts, poems and quotes. Please feel free to write me back for comments and suggestions. I hope to improve my writings. I wish to give satires, observations and comments through my works. I wish to help in opening discussions and clarifying issues in the Philippines and wherever art may touch base with…

I dreaded emails now because they could be deleted if you fail to log in a few months...

Be responsible for your actions and meet life head on!

I would like to pave the way for my amatuerish short stories, illustrations, comics and video editing in the near future.

08 15 2008... Here is another day. A start of another chapter... I just uploaded pictures on some of my social sites. I am smug about being part of the recent anniversary... I am going around much of Cebu now. I walk and walk a thousand steps. I have that habit of thinking and walking in that order... It saves on gas and money. I am saving some nowadays... I will be going home by end of the year for a visit or on february for my sister's wedding... People are getting married nowadays... I just noticed it ... Ha ha ha ha ha... I am happy for everyone... I am getting there though ...to the part of being older everyday.... sign off...

*** Thank you for your visit here in at Blogger! Kudos!

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

visit me also at

*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan

please comment and tag if you like my compilations.

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

********

An Old Maid, A Storm Surge and A Forgotten Birthday

2011-10-01T21:00:00.002-07:00

10032011

Last night, I spent the time talking with relatives abroad in ********. Re: It's a god given country anywhere but my country. Ha ha ha ha ha... Hardly any art happens there? Not me. I just want to visit for a day. Is there any artist who wants to go and actually stay there? Nothing much happens there. A cousin recently left to work there cleaning his act. The novelty hasn't worn off yet so everyone is in a chirping mood. It was another of those skype chat topics that ends up unexpectedly about the youngest cousin. Me. (Greatest looking and enigmatic dude among the brood). Hey am writing this so that stays. That is me. The painter among well accomplished professional farts. It was about mundane things, unimportant, earthly concerns and unchallenging vision. The big question. How one should rethink their priorities, immigrate and get hitched quick before the juice of you spermhood drizzles, dries up and be laid to waste? Hahahahaha. I am 39 and single. Am enjoying singlehood without the trappings of responsibilities. Am living my life. It is the time even my mother has finally given up asking me to find a partner and have kids. Finally! Adulthood at my fingertips.

I guess after the greetings and how dos'? With nothing else to say. One has to comment about how great life is of having a family. I have one. I have a life. No questions about that. Not to me there is none. It is the logical thing to be critical of another's state of mind or status. No harm meant. (It was a family member I was talking with and I never take offense.) After a few jabs, flights, ducks and stings, one just happens to land a lucky punch - bring in the rowdy jests, teasings and camaraderie puns of older cousins in a state of bliss, professional stability, enlightened purpose and eternal contentment. Well it is to be expected. Among boys, one will always have competition. Never mind that we all will be in our forties. Who had the prettiest broad, slept with whom, been associated with and did that? Trying to avoid another killer topic (I will just talk about this the next time) ends up on the ins and outs of accomplishing getting a visa. Too ordinary I guess. Never mind that I tell them am doing a lot of visiting hopefully this coming year and might drop by their house of abode to be regaled on how great life abroad as an immigrant is. It's my status they say... I am unemployed and just nixed a great opportunity to stay with a great compaby like any normal person. Perhaps that's it! I don't feel normal that I have to get everything done to be happy. I need not be married to be contented I need not be with kids to be satisfied in my career. Having learned early that you don't want your older cousins to be a step ahead of you. Keep your cards hidden and one just nods and does what one wants in the end. Weird really. I like having older cousins and having them stay dimwitted forever. Quite convenient for me not to match brawn with any of them through the years. I just don't want to waste time arguing when we accomplish other greater thoughts and pranks. So here I am hitched with a fb pal, oggling at fb pictures , adding up a virtual stranger to my fb list of friends probably without anything in common. Sigh. Let's hope the blond blue eyed woman adds me first and not the old maid -"an older maiden" could be a better and practical stringing of words. That's life for me now. I did request for imported rubber shoes to be sent to my address for icebreaker. Nice. If it happens then it happens - so be it. Am practical.

Another topic then. One could hardly miss the typhoon Pedring that caused a storm surge along some of our coastal areas. Pity. So many natural calamities every year. I guess we have to prepare ourselves about the changes in our lives. I just want to add that mirroring all the calamities the past few years we still lack the right attitude and preparation despite all the experiences. Higher costs and taxes happened this year. Inept and blunt reasoning still prevails. Filipinos are just waiting for the next elections for the grandstanding and the empty promises.

It was one of those days that a rare thing happens. I forgot a birthday. Since the person having his natal day doesn't have a fb or any other social network this event happened. There was a time forgetting seems normal but now you could be prompted about upcoming birthdays ahead of time to prepare. No excuses. I guess this would be the cool thing nowadays. On the plus side one could set up greeting cards that would also send automatically thus freeing you the mundane task of sending out one. Convenient not to be inconvenienced. That's the modern life. My nephew of three doesn't have a fb. Normal parents nowadays would have set one up for their none fbing toddlers to post convenient photos, videos and updates. It's the season too and likely a great way to connect with erstwhile inattentive godparents. Better just get up from my stool now and shower for the event. Tsk tsk tsk.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

Compilations of Old Blogs Part 6

2011-10-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

A July Thursday at Kulay Diwa
*** July 31, 2003

This Thursday talk was a memorable one for me as I was heartened by the small group we had. I was late, arriving at 5 pm with a debate already going on. Jonathan Castro, an artist, who was giving out invitations for his Boston show was on the hot seat. He was adamant about the aesthetics of his invitation wherein he omitted pictures of his work and titled it as ‘Collectibles’ — a misnomer. To each his own “diba?” Yet one still would like to be aware of costs and right information even in invitation details. Its quite conflicting to be quite purist on concept alone. It developed to a lighthearted discussion for a time but was redirected to a much important one when everyone settled down. We really are blessed to have gatherings and discussions yet we should all take advantage of this bounty to the fullest. It really is not permanent. We must all be strive to be stable independently as soon as we can as we have a growing responsibility to ourselves and to the community we belong to. Let us take care of our art as our art would take also care of us.
Kulay Diwa Galleries located at 25 Lopez Village, Lopez Ave., Sucat, Parañaque City is steadily flourishing in the able hands of Bobi V. and Bobbit Nolasco. We are all recipients of this great venture in the arts. This day though it was a talk that encouraged the youngest to just be resourceful with our learning, interaction and habits as we all would be potentials. The corporeal question of our existence, other pursuit and process of our fellow artists were topics too. Foremost in mind would be the role of conceptuals amidst the contemporary reality.
The complex search of chromatic expression guided by frenetic frenzy explains most of this artist’s academic and theoretical interest. Yet one cannot simply throw away the simple nuances of being human or humane, for that matter, as one becomes when an artist shares his own experiences and pursuits. Validity and contribution stood at end with humanity and inspiration as we try to describe and bring to life Jojo Lofranco at Kulay Diwa Galleries.
Why is man such a variance animal of deficiency and complications yet at one leap could be a success?
One wonders as you find yourself in this unique and surprisingly enlightening talk on what should an artist hold fast to grow and understand in this ever undemocratic yet humane profession. Where weeding out mediocrity in art is essential to survive and finesse a requisite to expound on and that when mystic and myth are taken down from most established artists the more it hounds them still. Where Art means humanized genius at work in uplifting one’s state of being and art simply a career. And being rooted to one’s patriotic pride in this case being a Filipino would be a longer road to success.
One finds dramatics a tool essential to expressiveness particularly in defending the one’s bum life. But when one is successful it is held as an esthetical success. For this case though, the truth sets one free.

We found ourselves particular about comparisons as we further delved in the coincidences of similarities and found answers and excuses on validity and integrity. Further more, sincerity of vision becomes integral only when accompanied by consistency.
Why is the Filipino’s concept of a gallery in extreme from the notion of a Filipino artist?
When we look at the majority of Filipino artists falling in line with the generic aesthetics of the mundane we accept this as a phase every one could learn from so that most are willing to wallow on this likely popular perception for most of one’s career life in the arts. Few move beyond and perhaps liking the opulence and illusions of fame they bring, influence others some more. Then we legitimize such excesses without responsibility and educated validity. A gallery is a venue and nothing more than the people behind it or the vision they bring— be they artist , curator, writer, critic or gallery owner.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

Benign Art
December 2, 2002

I was privileged enough to be at Kulay Diwa Galleries located at 25 Lopez Village, Lopez Ave., Sucat, Parañaque City on this last Thursday of November, 2002. We started with an informal group consisting of Marc Cosico, Michael Adrao, Don Salubayba, Noel ‘Nookie’ Cuizon, Kiko Escora, Adeline Ooi, Peachy Jubon, Chris of NCCA, Bernard of UST, Jezz Genotiva, Jojo, Karen Flores of NCCA, Claire Uy , Bobbit Nolasco, Bobi Valenzuela and this writer. It was one of those afternoon talks that surprisingly stretched to a late night round-robin discussion as we delved deeper on the particular set-up of contemporary art. This afternoon habit had become a regular fare of sharing and exchanging ideas and it was quite awesome to be included among this particular highly dynamic group.
With a well-versed moderator, much topics ranging through history and contemporary movements were collated between the Philippines and Malaysia. Noel Cuizon or Nookie as most call him, has visited Malaysia on one of his rare sojourns and had anecdotes and insights about Malaysian artists and being an artist, too, had a much deeper perspective. Adeline Ooi, a Malaysian researcher and assistant curator, started with inputs on the different perspectives and the nuances Malaysians have on their art and on themselves. I grew a bit uneasy to know how awkward it was for artists to improve on their own. They have to contend with different beliefs even among themselves. As a nation, Malaysians are strong in government, language, culture and religion. The European and Western concept of arts was never really absorbed fully with the rich traditions of crafts and culture of Malaysia. One question came and argued to mind as yet another flattering yet unrealistic comparison became obvious between Philippine and Malaysian arts. Isn’t this apparent disparity a kind of success that is ideal for an Asian country to have and maintain? Even for a young nation trying to create its own niche in the context of contemporary world art? I feel puzzled with Adeline Ooi’s and Noel Cuizon’s conclusions as to the irrelevance or is it indifference in Malaysia’s explorations? A hierarchy among the established artists and the younger ones was explained and that was predominant even in the National Museum of Malaysia. Yet these lacking qualities.? If they are then they should and would breed reactionary actions among the sedentary people right.? I am now at a loss. Yet, I think there should be a reassessment and reintegration of younger artist to the Malaysian art as an answer to this vacuum. With the growing perception of global symmetry in the arts one could only marvel at this potentials. Yes, the validity of foreign learned teachers turned artists is questionable yet contemporary intrusions among Malaysian artists young or old, teachers or not, could reshape very much for a beautiful Malaysia culture.

It is sad that one’s concept of success are always assumed by estimation with other countries’. I agree with perhaps the lackluster appreciation of the earlier amalgamations and pretensions yet the challenges should still be offered to excel. Malaysian contemporary arts could grow still without or with these failures.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

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The Role of the Painter Artists
December 6, 2002

The Socio-Political activities of the group “Salingpusa’ and the Neo Socio-Political representations locally and abroad of the group ‘Sanggawa” 1989- 1995 maintained the influx of socio-patriotic sentiments. For new groups and affiliations led by young artists from different institutions around Manila it opened a new perspective.
A sense of dynamism and an imminent need for consideration and acceptance for young artists grew amidst the acceptance of these same established artists from Hiraya Gallery led by stalwart curator, Bobi Valenzuela. With the initial successes of young artists of Ang Delatang Pinoy, Yes the Filipino Can! at the Main Gallery and the Discovery Series at the Mezzanine of the Hiraya Gallery collaborations and interests grew among peers and artists alike. Beginnings of groups and affiliations strengthened. Acceptance cemented it and consideration and common respect bonded it fully.
With the recognition and acknowledgement, initiatives of combining divergent and dynamic sentiments amidst a series of travelling shows and artists talks around Manila institutions garnered favorable intentions in 1996. Jorge B. Vargas Museum with help from another curator, Dr. Brenda Fajardo opened its venue for discussions and preparations of shows of this magnitude and purpose. The different artists’ orientations and discipline prove a different inclination, though. The organization tried to consider the multi - diversity of influence. A representational albeit common sentiments grew. A need for popular and copious understanding that would try to link conceptual inclinations and regalism, socio-political sentiments and representation and popular esthetics and symbolisms powered by a new sense of individual empowerment encompassed the groups and individuals involved.
Groups like Ugat-Lahi, the defunct Makiling’s Beinteng Umaaray, UP groups, UST groups, UE individuals, St. Scholastica Fine Art students and other individual artists all helped to bring this to fruition. “Mula Filibustero Hanggang kay Marimar” opened in different schools and institutions to warm appreciation. It led to further group shows like the “Xprints” and “Reprints” initiated by collaborations between Studio 1 and Jorge B. Vargas Museum and the traveling exhibit “Banderitas” spearheaded by Ugat-Lahi.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

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Reinventing Yourself
November 30, 2002.

We sometimes need the change to reinvent ourselves to an image that is totally new. Yet a lot of us disdain these stages of growth as unnatural and even with contemptuousness. Yet how could we consider ourselves evolving if one limits these changes that affect and effect us all.

I was with Don Salubayba and Michael Adrao at Rufus, located at Makati, checking out the evening menu of Tapsilog (tasteless! Ughh! A Tapa with sauce WF**K! Which I mistakenly ordered again!) and that Mike has been raving about for the whole time I hitched rides (whose complaining? Thanks again, Mike!). When talk started on personality quirks, character change and downright arrogance of some artists without them really being aware of it. I really had an inkling, though, as I could read some emotions from Don’s face or it was likely he was regretting his Tapsilog, too. I was in for a surprise or Mike was literally, on eating his great Porkchop with garlic rice, which I should have ordered come to think of it, as Don Salubayba went for the jugular of the problem and which happened to be me. Me? Good old me. I was offended. Me? He did comment on Adelaide Ooi as added ammunition which unsettled me a bit as fleeting white skin flashed before my eyes. What a great brain and I wasn’t looking! For the record. It was on some pissed comment she had on me and a general comparisons which literally had me fuming ( Great! Don Salubayba knows how to play this game, too, regretfully.) and which really took me by surprise. I adamantly refuse to consider since I hold her as a breathe of fresh air but I saw that Don wasn’t budging from his stance I decided two could play this game. But that’s another story that I’ll remedy as soon as I can.

As it was still early about 8:00 pm and we all were unwinding from a day at setting up at Kulay Diwa, I effected some outrageous disbelief of some sorts and denying the outrageous comment. Better kill the rumor while it was still fresh. But true to form of missionistic vigilance which I could only admire as I tried to lower my ticking eyebrow, Don launched his ammunition which thankfully I had intended really for him to be irritated about. Not that his hostility and caustic remarks, slightly covered up, of course, were not obvious too, for the whole two weeks we’ve been forced to bump to each other. But I really intended my comment to reach particular ears when I casually commented to Leslie de Chavez my comment of the lack of great individual shows of late. A simple phrase could create great havoc. Sorry Leslie ! But this time you were a harbinger of unwanted news. Promise not to do it again. I did ask you not to tell. That was before Recent Works 2 at Kulay Diwa. I received what I assumed was miffed expression from Leslie and getting him to reconsider and reconsider some more of his priorities at that time but the reaction was quite more surprisingly from Don who I believe has great temper maybe to rival my own but I don’t think so. I guess he was currently musing about his personal stand on my opinionated comment in general. Was I hinting on his shows.? Considering he is having his second one man show at Kulay Diwa. I think it is a great show but I’m not telling him as still I have work to do. Talk about pressure. Hahahahaha ! Small details are quite fun to play with but not always at the expense of good friends. But lets consider that we all are ideally and potentially are good artists and challenges coming from unexpected quarters are good litmus tests of vigilance and priorities. I was apologetic but secretly laughing because I know Don would be repeating my comment and sending other artists into a riotous anger, despite our long talk lasting till midnight as we continued to the Salubayba’s residence at Makati amidst vicious dogs B1 and B2 to which Mike was keeping eyes on throughout the illuminating conversations. Kulay Diwa has brought changes and for the better. All seems a bit prepared to risk bloopers in grammar just to get messages across. Admirable! Talk of change. Great studio though and great cabinet for your works as I was really turning green with envy at a new addition to Don’s space. Ha! I can carpenter some imitation of it as soon as I can. Sorry I’m digressing, lets go back to the comments that hopefully not aimed at me and bad as to be cruel since I could not always charge to bill of good character reference, harmless front and unassuming history even with my amiable personality. It was what I believe and intended would be a more direct tension of competition and self-analysis. Bobi V., I hope you’ll be reading this as I’m afraid I did turn up a Frankenstein. Back to Don again and despite his grudging acceptance through his nose of my deepest apologies. I know he doesn’t believe one bit or is still at end with the Tapsilog. He settled down while giving some murderous glances at me and the Tapsilog on his plate and at me again which I docilely avoided to meet while musing could I ask Mike if he would exchange food with me? Great! My appetite was gone! Keep up a bit of pretense. I guess he was getting to the point and that my comment that could be taken for a lot of negative things in generally and most against me was really not malicious in nature and that I understand them and seem formally contrite. Mike as a good old friend defended me and quite tactfully did all my convincing amidst his chewing of porkchop that kept me attentive and covetous of the piece of fat fried in deep oil. How did they get that golden color? But Alas! I discovered too, that I should be more careful as my character regression has also suffered me some shame and a bit of regret but hopefully I could remedy that and convince them of my good will and intentions when I bring out my series of paintings. Hehehehehe! Bobi V. you wait and see as I still have to document them. Ahh! Such arrogance and confidence! I really hope I don’t fall flat on my face as it is quite uncomfortable. To think that we all will be something to contend with, of course Don and hopefully Mike & Leslie would be leading the front. A good front it is as I seem a bit jealous of their talent and opportunities to come but who is counting? Hmmmmm! To wait is like eternity on hold and I know and I’m sure it will be ready. This I owe myself the knowledge and respect more than the facile rewards we all will be tempted one way or another. Now if I can get a certain breathe of fresh air in my direction it would be all accounted for. Wishful thinking! I do not want to consciously be that competitive nor others to perceive me as another competitor. To confide and be trusting. Hehehehe! I want to be approachable for my other plans, even if confrontational and goals which I would hold for a later piece. Trust is earned and I hope I would again or maybe not. Life is such a challenge and is doubled when it has you hook, line and sinker.

Hint : I’m starting to build again my network and hopefully it would last the lifetime.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

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iscp open studios december 2003 artists / curator
June 29, 2009, 11:19 pm

about iscp
a visual arts residency unlike any other

Like many visual arts residency programs in New York, the International Studio & Curatorial Program (ISCP) is a microcosm of the city’s cultural diversity: multi-national, multi-lingual and multi-faceted. Unlike others, however, ISCP makes a concerted effort to connect its artists and curators to the local art community, while connecting the local art community with contemporary art practice from all over the world.
While New York may well be the world’s epicenter of contemporary art practice and market, the glut of resources and opportunities, which attract the art immigrant, are precisely the factors, which can be alienating and frustrating.
ISCP is a residency tailored to suit the practical needs of the visiting artist/curator by providing space in which to produce as well as addressing the magnitude of the world’s art capital. The program prides itself on providing an infrastructure, which accelerates integration and interaction with the host culture and in the course of its development, has become a catalyst for introduction, presentation, connection, exposure and dissemination.

The dynamic of ISCP is a programming hybrid conceived to facilitate genuine exchange, specifically its Guest Critic Series and semi-annual Open Weekend Exhibitions. The Guest Critic Series enables one-on-one studio visits for dialogue and critical feedback with distinguished professionals from the New York and international art worlds. The Open Weekend Exhibitions attract not only professionals, but a wider audience of art enthusiasts. In addition, a continual flow of international art traffic passes through the program, making impromptu studio visits and meeting with the artists and curators.
As a direct consequence of connections forged at ISCP, many of the over 500+ artists and curators who have participated in the program since its founding, are now represented by New York galleries and have been included in numerous group exhibitions and projects throughout the United States and abroad.

The raison d’être for an artist is to make art. The raison d’être for a curator is to communicate art. The paradigm fostered by ISCP enables these two inter-dependent professions to cohabit, cross-fertilize and interact, while both groups at the same time, inject our host culture with the vitality of the visual language they import to the United States.
Floor 6

610. ROBERTO COROMINA was born in 1965 and received a B.F.A. from Facultad Sant Jordi, Barcelona in 1989. He lived in New York from 1994 until 1998. He received the Casa de Velazquez Grant for a two-year residency in Madrid in 1998. Coromina has had solo exhibitions at the Fernando Serrano Gallery, Huelva, Spain; Guido Carbone Gallery, Torino, Italy, and the Monasterio de Veruela, Zaragoza, Spain. His work has also been featured at ARCO Madrid since 1998. Over the last seven years, he has been working from Old Master paintings by taking fragments, distorting them, and re-painting them. Recently, Coromina has been using art books as his source — painting and cutting out illustrations from second-hand books and assigning them a new life as objects. coromina@lycos.com
Floor 7

701. The video works of FIORENZA MENINI are like UFOs, mysteriously floating above the art world. Her videos are metaphysical in the strictest sense of the term: they go beyond what is simply physical. They can also be termed sublime, if we understand the term from Schelling as something which ‘remains secret and suddenly manifests itself’. The artist states: ‘I will show neither video, nor photography; my open studio will be empty.’ Menini presented the performance, Pure Beauty, at Gallery Yvon Lambert, Paris, 2001; Waiting People for the opening of Le Plateau, Paris, 2002, and Falsa Innociencia, at Fondacion Juan Miro, Barcelona, 2003. mylittleplanet@hotmail.com

702. NADIA COEN was born in Zimbabwe, where she lived until moving to New York City in 1979. Coen was actively involved in the East Village art movement of the eighties, conceptualizing and creating significant collaborative book and poster projects, which have been exhibited and collected by galleries, art collections, and museums in the United States and Europe. Her recent work has evolved into site-specific minimalist installations, incorporating scale, architecture and light. THE INCLINING EXPERIMENT installation at ISCP is an architectonic light experience. By transforming the studio into a trapezoidal environment the viewer steps into a series of light projections, which accentuate the experience of light as an ephemeral substance that exists through elongated space and prolonged time. nadiacoen@earthlink.net

703. PENG HUNG-CHIH was born in 1969 in Taiwan and lives and works in Taipei. Dogs are the recurring protagonists in Peng Hung-Chih’s sculpture and video works. Because of our empathetic relationship with these creatures, they serve as human surrogates. Peng also suggests that the ambiguity of mixed-breed dogs is a telling symbol of the cultural identity of Taiwan - its territorial status remains contested and its cultural conditions testify to the heterogeneous elements of indigenous cultures, Chinese immigration and complex economic ties to the West. In Face to Face, the viewer fuses with the animal as he looks into the head of a fiberglass dog to watch a video recorded from a dog’s eye view. One Black/One White cleverly expands Peng’s investigations, employing the dominant/submissive relationships between two street dogs to create a dance resembling the oscillations of a metronome. p2195@ms19.hinet.net

704. AMIEL ROLDAN’s body of work represents an inward look at how one can be an idealist in an ever-besieged population and is explored through a contemporary context. Some of the recurring themes in his past work revolve around politics, religion and the plight of individuals - regression, denial, faith / faithlessness, courage and wit. ‘I work largely on cultural issues in my paintings, installations and mass prints. I gain insight to create from popular convictions, lifestyles and Filipino practices.’ Roldan has worked in a variety of media and capacities: documentation and photography as well as coordinating and organizing exhibitions for institutions, such as the Jorge B. Vargas Museum, Kulay Diwa Art Galleries and the Hiraya Gallery. As one of an independent group of young artists in The Philippines, he has also collaborated with ARS (an artist-run-space) and several exhibition projects, which showcase emerging artists. Roldan has exhibited extensively at home and abroad. See www.amiel.tk

705. CHRISTOPH WEBER was born in Vienna, Austria, in 1974. A working grant from the Austrian Ministry of the Arts, enabled Weber to study Fine Arts in Leipzig, followed by Sculpture in Düsseldorf, Germany, and Conceptual Art in Vienna. According to curator Alexander Koch: ‘His work is equally inspired by the dispositions of American Conceptualism as well as by art-theoretical aspects, media-critical analysis and the formal and material confrontation with sculptural issues. With acute intellectual creativity and joy in experimentation, he succeeds in investigating the media with the expressiveness and poetry of sculptural proceedings.” Christoph Weber’s first solo show will take place in Gallery Jocelyn Wolff, Paris, in February 2004. tov@lo-res.org

706. YUKARI EDAMITSU is a Japanese artist, who works with painting and photography. She has received an MFA from Kyoto City University of Arts. The laws fascinate Edamitsu, which govern human beings and nature, leading her to pursue the spiritual power, which forms the being, as opposed to the materialistic. She is influenced by Buddhist philosophy. y.edamitsu@k9.dion.ne.jp
707. ISABELLE ENG is a French painter, who lives in Manhattan. She originally hails from Paris and was educated both in France and in the United States. Her love of Native American Indian Art brought her to the United States, where she came to teach and paint. She enjoys living in New York, the crossroads of all the world cultures, which endlessly replenishes itself with new arrivals. isabelleng@aol.com
708. INES PAIS (Lisbon, 1975) lives and works in Lisbon, Berlin and New York. She is the founding director of The IP Foundation, which, since 1999, has been collaborating with art-spaces from various countries (Lisbon, Oporto, Madrid, Berlin, New York, Strasbourg, Randers, Paris, Vienna, Nantes, Brest, Kiel, Turin, Glasgow a.o.). Inês Pais is also the founder of Chixuania, a fictive nation of artists, established in 2001. www.theipfoundation.org
709. YANGAH HAM. In her recent video project, More real than this world, which employs a subjective documentary style, YANGAH HAM deals with the fantasies of people who live in different parts of the world. During the period of documenting a certain person or a group of people, she shares their experience and waits for the moment their fantasies rise to the surface, capturing them through her own senses. More real than this world is an open-ended project, consisting of various short stories produced through this process. Yangah Ham was born in Seoul, South Korea and lived in New York City from 1994 to 2002. She participated in Gwanju Biennale (2002) and exhibited in ArtPace, San Antonio (2000), De Appel in Amsterdam (2003). Ham’s work can currently be seen in the Walsh Gallery in Chicago. afnature@yahoo.com

710. PETRA LINDHOLM was born in Finland in 1973 and studied at the Royal University College of Fine Arts in Stockholm from 1996 until 2001. In Lindholm’s video work, the artist forms a close connection between image and sound, by employing her own composed music and voice, which adds an idiosyncratic dimension to both the visual and auditory material. Her films construct multi-layered dreams and memories, eliciting an emotional response. Her work is in several public collections such as the Moderna Museet, Stockholm. Lindholm’s next solo show will be in January 2004 at Galleri Magnus Karlsson, Stockholm, Sweden and she will be represented in the Armory Show, NYC, in 2004. petralindholm@soon.com
711. CECILIE DAHL works in diverse media such as photography, video, sound, performance, canvas and installation. In the body of work titled, Suckers, the artist explores the notion of oral consumption as it relates to various foods and sweets, human relations, an urge, a taste of and for something, with underlying ambiguities. Hard Candy, Still Lives and Short Stories stress the psychological aspects, merging the contested zones and the dynamic balance between indulgence, appreciation and compulsion. Clothes For A Summer Hotel, renegotiates and examines the uncertainties of a communicative situation, raising questions about proximity and issues of illusion and reality. The integration and fusion of color, sound and imagery in Dahl’s work as a whole facilitates an evocative visual language with multi-layered connotations and fields of association. Dahl was awarded residencies at the Künstlerhaus Bethanien, Berlin and P.S.1. New York. She currently works and lives between New York and Oslo. Ms. Dahl has had several solo and group shows e.g.: Malmø Museum, Sweden, 1999; Gallery F-15, Norway, 2001; Velan, Torino, Italy, 2001; Egizio?s Project, New York, 2001. cecid@bway.net

712. FAHRETTIN ÖRENLI was born and raised in Eastern Turkey and has been living and working in Holland since 1991. He graduated in photography from the Gerrit Rietveld Art Academy in Amsterdam, 1998, and attended the Rijksakademie van Beeldende Kunsten, Amsterdam from 2000 until 2001. According to the artist: ‘What we call reality can be seen as a relationship between the social sphere and the surreal, a ‘hyper-reality’, a socio-surrealism, a new reality, a creation represented through diverse media that comes into existence because different elements merge with one another. I stand at the intersection of these different and interrelated spheres. I work with photography, painting, video, installation and poetry, using these different disciplines to represent, on another level, the inter-relationship of a variety of subjects.’ Curator and critic, Gerardo Mosquera, states that: ‘Örenli is exploring the symbolic and expressive possibilities of painting to tackle contemporary subjects. Also a poet, Örenli combines literature and visual arts to deal with the complex human, social and political issues of our times.’ f_orenli@yahoo.com

713. MARKUS WETZEL sometimes calls himself an island maker, since he works in a field one could call virtual land art. Building one’s own island implies certain prerequisites, such as weather, shelter and studio, some boats, a beach, bad dreams from a big storm and so on. The artist has been working on an idea about the longing for a fictive quietness, a desire unrequited and impossible to achieve in life. Wetzel employs computer animation, installation, video and architectural elements. Two and a half years ago he came to New York on a one-year fellowship and has divided his time between New York and Switzerland since. He has shown extensively in venues throughout Europe. Wetzel’s next solo show will be at the James Nicholson Gallery, San Francisco. markuswetzel@compuserve.com
714. Over the past ten years, HANNES KATER has developed a personal iconography of drawing by producing made-to-order drawings, based upon short written anecdotes submitted to the artist by viewers. He, in turn, ponders the stories and reinvents them, the aggregate of which is an individual 2-D semiology or ‘pictionary’. Hannes Kater thus names himself a drawing generator, whose large 3-D installations, as in his studio, are a dynamic macrocosm of constellations of thought and interpretation already produced on paper, drawn directly on the walls and augmented by styrofoam cut-outs. Quote: ‘I am an embedded draughtsman.’ www.hanneskater.com
Floor 8

801. SO-YEON CHOI was born in 1968, in Seoul, Korea and now lives and works in New York. In her most recent project, Collapsible Museum, she plays with the image of prestigious museums. The artist wishes to present museum iconography from a different standpoint. Collapsible Museum is a new kind of paper sculpture. In one piece, a cut out image of the Metropolitan Museum disappears when folded, leaving the figures of camera-clicking visitors against a foreground of an empty wall. This image of the Metropolitan Museum suggests a vestige of ancient Rome. Choi walks around the Metropolitan Museum, the Guggenheim Museum and the American Museum of Natural History meticulously taking data. She would like to reverse our perception of symbols. Even if the Metropolitan Museum doesn?t fall, her effort to conserve is remarkable. She has also created a small organization, which encourages viewers to become members of Collapsible Museum. soyeon_choi@hotmail.com

802. JUDY RADUL lives in Vancouver, Canada. A consideration of forms and conditions of performance informs her practice, which includes video, installation, photography, live actions and audio works. Several recent installations have focused on observing actors and directors in rehearsal. Recent exhibitions include: The Contemporary Art Gallery, Vancouver; The Belkin Satellite, Vancouver; YYZ Gallery, Toronto; The Institute of Contemporary Art, London (performance). Her critical writing has been included in several publications, most recently: Just Try It: Thoughts on Art and Science Experiments, Public, #25, Ed. Susan Lord, Gary Kibbins, Art Is All Over, Ed. Karen Henry, 2001 and Live at the End of the Century: Aspects of Performance Art in Vancouver, from December 13 to March 7, 2004. jradul@shaw.ca

803. MARIANNE THERESE GRØNNOW is a Copenhagen-based Danish artist who trained at the Royal Danish Academy of Fine Arts. Grønnow is primarily a painter, but has employed other media e.g. printmaking, wood/paper stencils and drawing. Grønnow is dedicated to one particular motif: the flower. While an almost ritualistic repetition is significant, repetition does not imply one and the same painting. On the contrary, Grønnow constantly subjects her flowers to different technique, styles and symbolic significance. In earlier works, themes were vanity, impermanence, the mysterious and the secretive. Recently, the artist has been more interested in the dreamlike hallucinatory settings of enchanted artificial landscapes in bright colors. Grønnow has lived in Paris, Rome and Madrid and has been awarded residencies at Djerassi Foundation, San Francisco, USA; Fundacion Valparaiso, Mojacar, Spain and ISCP, New York, USA. Grønnow is represented at The National Danish Gallery, Malmø Museum of Art, Sweden, The Swedish Endowment for the Arts, Sweden; The Danish Endowment for the Arts, Denmark and NY Carlsberg Foundation, Denmark. groennov@mobilixnet.dk

804. KJELL BJØRGEENGEN is an artist from Norway, who works with digital and analog image processing. His works deal with the conditions of visual representation and meaning, including the borderline, where video images produce an oscillating flicker. Kjell Bjørgeengen is currently performing live video with Evan Parker?s Electro Acoustic Ensemble, while preparing a major exhibition at The Museum of Contemporary Art in Oslo. kbjorgee@notam02.no

805. LAURENT MONTARON is a French artist, who was born in 1972. He lives and works in Paris. He graduated in Fine Arts from Nantes in 2001. Montaron’s work presents the viewer on first encounter with familiar subjects. Although the situations are arranged and subsequently photographed by the artist, they appear as ’stills’, or frozen moments of beauty and calm. Generating a feeling of doubt, their remoteness encourages the viewer to search for clues through identification and the experiences and memories triggered by association. Montaron works in mixed media: sound, video and photography. He has had solo exhibitions in the Centre National de la Photographie, Paris and in FRAC Champagnes-Ardennes, Reims. His work was recently shown in London at FA Projects Gallery and in Subréel at the Mac of Marseille. He is represented in several public and private collections. laurentmontaron@hotmail.com
8TH FLOOR BAR. CHRISTINA LUCAS’ work deals with the idea of power. The artist introduces her discourse by humorously embracing topics such as the art world, sexual identity, the role of woman, education, and super-heroes. Lucas defines herself as a philanthropist woman, who would like to find a way of making the public show their teeth, because she maintains that people show their teeth not only to smile, but also to fight. Born in Spain in 1973, Lucas studied Fine Arts at Universidad Complutense, Madrid and received her MFA from the University of California at Irvine. She has participated in numerous group exhibitions, among which are: Monocanal, Reina Sofia Museum Madrid, 2003; Otros incluidos, House of America, Madrid, 2003; Magazine, Sala Amadís of Madrid, 2002; 33.3, Deep River Gallery, Los Angeles, 2000; Downtown Video, The Bradbury Building of Los Angeles, 2000; Concrete Lab, Laguna Art Museum of California, 2000; Video/Art, Sala Rekalde of Bilbao, 1999; Doméstica, La Panaderia, Mexico D.F., 1998; and La ceguera, Girona Art Museum, 1997. gatamelatta@hotmail.com

809. ROSE HSU was born in 1963 in Taiwan and received her MA in Art History from Queens College, CUNY, in 1990. In 1991, she completed a post-graduate program in Museum Studies at New York University. After working at Taipei Fine Arts Museum, Hsu became a curator for the L’Orangerie International Art Consultant Co. Ltd., based in Taipei, Taiwan, where she is today. Hsu organized an international touring exhibition with Musée de Louvre, Paris, in 2000 and conceived an Artist-in-Residency program in Taiwan from 2000 - 2003. In addition, she has curated several public art projects in Taiwan. Hsu’s tenure at ISCP allows her to spend three months in New York researching Public Art and Artist-in-Residency Programs in the United States. lorang.art@msa.hinet.net

810. FERNANDO VARELA was born in Mexico City in 1969. He studied visual arts and photography at the Escuela Nacional de Artes Plasticas (National School for the Plastics Arts) in the Universidad Nacional Autonoma de Mexico. He specialized in interactive installation and multimedia production at the Centro Nacional de las Artes, where he has also ran workshops on digitalization and new technologies. In 1994 and 1996 he was awarded grants by the Fondo Nacional para la Cultura y las Artes de Mexico and the Fundacion U.N.A.M. Since the mid-nineties his group exhibitions have included the II Bienal de Monterey, Museo de Monterey Mexico, Encuentro Nacional de Arte Joven, Museo Carrillo Gil Mexico and 10 Mexican Photographers, DuBois Gallery in Lehigh University Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Varela has worked as the coordinator of the digital graphics workshop at the Centro Multimedia of the Centro Nacional de las Artes Mexico since 1994. stvarelac@yahoo.com.mx

811. SYBILLE RATH is a German artist, based in Munich. Extensive travel in Central America and a DAAD grant to live and work in Mexico in 2000, enriched the artist’s chromatic vocabulary. The experience of the region’s unique cultural mix — pre-Columbian art, Spanish architecture/religion, modern art and lifestyle influences from North America — all combined to charge her canvases with new energy and elements. For Rath, the process of painting acquires importance not only from technical expertise, but conceptually too. Experience is the impetus for her to challenge her potential and its limits. syrath@gmx.de

812. DAVID KRIPPENDORFF: ‘I am half-German, half-American, grew up in Rome and studied in Berlin. Because this is so culturally confusing, I chose a more abstract place within which to operate i.e. Hollywood. All of my work incorporates images and footage from Hollywood movies, which I use to express my own stories. My work has been shown in Berlin NGBK, Gebauer Gallery; ICA, London; Massimo Audiello and White Columns, NYC; Rotterdam Film Festival and Scope, L.A. and Miami. A one-minute video piece was included in the ‘ Concert in Cape Town as part of the One Minute of Art to Aids benefit event. dkrippendorff@thing.net

813. MAIDER LOPEZ was born in Spain in 1975 and studied Fine Arts at the Basque University, followed by an MFA from Chelsea College of Art, London. She has been exhibiting since 1999 throughout Spain and Europe. Lopez’ work overlaps between art, architecture and design by making objects from everyday life e.g. tables, lamps, or elements of architecture such as false walls or floors. For her Open Studio presentation, Lopez has conceived a site-specific installation, based upon the reflections of her work in the studio window. maiderlo@lycos.com

814. ANDREA PESENDORFER studied painting at the University of Applied Arts in Vienna. The basic formula of aesthetic methodology, namely to acquire aesthetic information by the controlled destruction of known qualities of perception, is apparent in Pesendorfer’s early works. Here, materiality articulates conceptuality and vice versa, due to the basic understanding of textiles that opens up multi-layered connotations, arising from text and texture to the so-called Boromean Knot. Pesendorfer deals with surface, body and identity, while concentrating on the important issues of covering, veiling, exposing and making visible. Different media are employed, for example: working with fabric, painting and photography. The artist has had solo exhibitions in Vienna, Cologne, Berlin and New York and has participated in group exhibitions in Europe and New York. andreapese@to.or.at

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
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******

Compilations of Old Blogs Part 5

2011-10-01T20:54:00.001-07:00

Another home… Colon District
August 4, 2008, 7:22 pm

I wondered for a time how it would feel to stay at a boarding house and live a life of separation from family for most of the year… A student life… It’s quite late for me but maybe I could just have a brief encounter with the lifestyle…I had a very good life, I guess, so wondering did not materialize that soon… But I kept on thinking how it would be… until a year after I came to Cebu City to finally live on my own…I wanted to be away from my family early on… but I guess I never had the guts before…
Dried fish permeates the air, jitney and bus pollution, sweat and rotting food occasionaly mingles… You could get run over by speeding cars and faint of heatstroke… Natives from the provinces come here to beg for money and food here in this part of the city… Calamity struck provinces brings a steady migration of people thrust in the city life… People out to con and cause mischiefs is also rampant… Vendors selling wares occasionally shout their trades add to the dynamic noise of people living in this City… This is the air scents and sounds of Colon… A major part of the people of Cebu…

Christmas 2008 is coming soon… Filipinos are very much festive in this occassion and the New Year is always celebrated with much preparations… I missed that … Last year, when I celebrated Christmas 2007 and New Year 2008 at work and belatedly with a few drinks after shift with fellow neighbors at my bachelor pad… It was great with the incentives and trimmings… Don’t get me wrong, its just different with less people… Well, I’ll try it differently this year… Am still away from family but will have new friends at a new pad at Colon, Cebu… I am still keeping my bigger pad for my things and my professional studio but would keep myself distanced to my works by immersing myself with people… We are social animals and this lately came up… I would like to keep my privacy so I stay some nights at my old place, some nights at the office and some nights at my new boarding house pad… I want to set up a camera outside my window just to do some people studies… Lately, I was just looking at cows and it has become routinary that I would have to pass on that for some time…I was seldom going out of the boundaries of IT park asides from Ayala where I go for my gym at Fitness First… Even going to exhibit openings is becoming too infrequent… Well, I am offering changes… Just yesterday my neighbor fired a gun infront of spectators to stop a brawling … I stopped the landlady from the fuss and told her to go inside as I was worried she might have a heart attack…I am bothered though that it would have an effect on the children … some were already bewildered about the brawl and the noise… I observed them after the incident and they were very destructive afterwards (kicking doors and shouting)…They would have emotional scars from these events… Kind of remind me of happenings just like in Manila and Mandaluyong… I wish I had had an excuse for a camera ready…

Late at night karaoke singing ended usually with barangay tanods closing the bars…. There is illegal drugs in the city and am sure of that… It’s afternoon and they peddle it blatantly… I am not naive… But know that my stand is adamantly against drug use… Curfew is set up around Colon City and midnight check points are set up frequently….Drinking is the past time here… With many young people, prostitution is here… The people are quite liberated and exposed…It is quite different and the same from many parts of the Manila… But there is some sort of order too… There is an army detachment and police stations here… You’ll hear the tanods coming a kilometer away with all the racket of their motorcycles… This is a an old city with new people… Tourists also come to this parts. It kinda reminded me of the book “The Beach.” The schools and universities keep the population growing every school semester… Malls are being put up and lately a drive to rehabilitate the surroundings like Manila was talked about in the newspapers… I still have to see the changes though… The district houses the municipal hall buildings, government department buildings, city landmarks, town businesses, town capitol, postal building, and the pier. It is like a small intramuros, university belt, pier, Binondo et al. rolled into one… Talk about changes…. I like it here… I see a different Cebu every day… Heck !!! I meet a different Cebu everyday… The thing to always remember is that it is quite small so people know people…They would know you from afar… I meet alot of my friends around the city in this district… I want to learn the language of this city fast… I am falling in love with the City and its people… Maybe I am falling in love with the wrong part of the city… But I am game for the ride…
08 05 2008

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
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******

SONA and Sights 2008
***07 29 2008

This is the day of the 8th S.O.N.A. in the Philippines (State of the Nation Adrress)…. I wondered how we as a nation has changed since the Marcos era… I see so many small changes for the better. I am glad that we are improving our lives for the better even with higher costs of living… Anyone with imagination could see that things would be brighter in a few more years and different… Of course those seeing it too would see the same things to rehash on the future president whoever may be siting… burning effigies, negative ratings, rallies, seasonal coup de etats, power grabbing, exposing the human side of the rich, having the local people dance the locomotion without need of memorizing the lyrics and rediculing people in power who is not Pacquiao… I still see a lot of people in need but they understand now what they need to do…to save and get their children in school and if there is nothing to eat go to the malls and walk around… Past are coup de etats that actually won our country… half hearted ones plus pogi points would bring you to the senate seat and put you and your family in good standing aside from marrying an actor or actress … though… getting linked to one re two counts too… Toiling in jail is an excuse to not do anything and get yourself always in front page… another waste of money… Another senator not doing anything. There seems to be alot of politicians from the other camp not doing anything productive… where were they when calamities struck … ah yes! mulling about how to throw another garbage at the seating government…Keeping their flawless skin always in the leading newspapers… Seems all the clamor for changes ended when infamy caught up and reality setting in when some got knocked out by keeping too much exposure too soon… Even Lacson’s skin is better now i admit than a baby’s asshole… So much for the group that made use of our good senator Trillanes… Where are they now while he is sitting in jail… talk about being used and being discarded when not in use anymore… ha ha ha ha ha… Not an excuse still not to do his job as senator because of this…He has a lot of years to learn and work on alone in jail… if he still plans to help people in need…. Bills need to be passed. People need laws upheld… Calamities to be prepared for… Jobs and differences to be ironed off… Why not just aim for talking with territorial disputes?… The Filipino people’s future is at stake… Boycott seems so immature nowadays as politicians are caught sour graping while going to another one of their food binges and long talks about putting the government down… on when 2010? Many Filipinos go hungry… There are too many opportunities they let pass by… we let pass by… fighting their own ghosts to reconcile… fighting our ghosts to reconcile… They would not win again in an election in 2010… There is little issue that they could rehash until then… Where is the sense of accountability?… When you throw accusations you should retract them and apologize if the law finds you could not support them…or is it position that keeps you upright and pride without honor… Just keep silent maybe the bloopers would just fly by… in a year or two.. Talk about lining up all the presidents we had in a row and all of them having negative ratings… Setting box office records now for the lowest… Former presidents and wanna be presidents or politicians not in the limelight getting greener with envy still… Everyone seem to want the fifteen minutes of fame again and again.. Probably nursing the idea that they would be more talked about if they are not present…. who would print that out ?… of course newspapers going out for the news scoop….. Pity they were eclipsed by the mayor in bahag.

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
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www.amiel-roldan.tk
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******

– On a day of the month of July –
July 30, 2008, 4:29 pm
***07 28 2008

I just renewed my passport here in Cebu City. The time to go apply abroad is just a step away… Residencies, grants, seeing openings and exhibitions, meeting fellow artists, curators and writers…we start building new relationships, friends and competition… Challenges to make life better and inspiring new works… I am dragging that step though. Even though I know that this is my shangri-la and that being that well-rounded artist would make me content and happy. I play the field of challenges with hardly any capital and it has brought me so much…. I wanted to experience some more years of solitude and bliss… I am lethargic…. Working in a company has always been on my mind too… A peripheral image that I dare not look at for long in fear that this might seduce me in staying put…. I am meeting alot of new friends and am quiet happy… Being away for a while has burned me bridges yet gave me a bigger perspective. Responsibilities beckon though… I wake up bothered that I am moving very fast and just breezing images as i pass… They fail to sink in deep… I hardly slow down and nary looking back… I have this time and it is ending… I want it to begin again… I have all my strengths yet none to push me forward… I never wanted distinction…. I just wanted to blend in the wall and just watch the carousel pass by…. I fear I am doing that right now…. To break the cycle I have to walk away…. sigh ….I hope I don’t hurt much or hurt anyone…. I just want to pursue what I want to do by myself…. To seek contentment on the simple art of making art and sharing it with alot of people that are important to you…. To bring these people to a part of your images and give them your life….

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
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******

Walking the Streets of Cebu City
July 30, 2008, 4:23 pm
***07 01 2008

I was restless today this July 01, 2008. I woke up very early and decided to walk around Cebu. My gym opens at around 6 am so I have lots of time to kill. I decided I would walk around a bit. Early morning air was good for the body and walking would be good for the heart. I decided I would look at some streets in older parts of Cebu. The Carbon district is one of the older places to visit. The district dated back in the Spanish times in early 1650s. I would walk around the city regardless of the vagrants and threats of criminality that I’ve heard that was now rampant. Around 3:00 am, I started walking from Capitol and decided my route would end at DFA or the Postal Office. Early for jogging the streets, I decided to just walk…I wonder if I would know the intimate City first hand… Heck, I want to discover Colon and Carbon touted as the Binondo of Cebu. I wanted to see the streets and the structures this time without the people. I thought I would see very few people about but I passed early vendors, delivery trucks, early sweepers and people buying food in the stall market… Some were preparing their goods and while some unloading delivery from the port and other provinces… I discovered more than I bargained for. I was shocked to see that in this bustling city people sleeping outside in some parts of the city… Perhaps they were vendors too late to go home and staying after closing or too early arriving before opening their stalls. One could be naive if one wants too. It occurred to me that despite the City of Cebu’s development and potentials some might be left out literally in the streets… In Singapore, I would say that you could not stay and sleep outside because of the strict curfew law and in America sleeping for just a night would kill you from hypothermia at certain time of the year — dead winter perhaps. That is not to say there are never poor people in those countries… I remember once when I was in US, a 6′ 2″ colored person asking for a dollar at Brooklyn station. He obviously decided he could intimidate some dollars from passerby. With our temperate climate we could survive with just a headache after sleeping several nights. I tried sleeping under the stars for several nights when there was an all out city blackout due to generator failure and that gave me a big headache. If it was raining it would be very much uncomfortable but would still have cover from buildings. A typhoon is another thing though… I know that these were people dislocated from there homes. The government is very tolerant and I guess the municipalities just follow suite… Sickness and ails would catch up with us eventually but these fellow Filipinos would have them sooner… Death would come sooner to all of us though… A few were scattered in corners and sheds but as I came nearer the church district. I passed a group of around a hundred prone figures. I still thought they would be rallyist or workers on strike to be so large a number…but I guess I was wrong. Some of the shadows were stirring in sleep and some repose as if in death, I am shamed… The coolness of the night at 3:30 am in morning barely made me aware of the misty stagnant air of dirt and rotting garbage… Human feces and body sweat rose up very distinct now…This is the city I have come to love for almost a year now…A city I had admire from childhood and where I decided to stay for good. I heard some stories of poverty… I knew these sights would be the same as in some parts of Manila that I have seen… Progress has its price… a very big price to pay…. I could no avert my eyes and I have to see them…. to look closer if these were really happening or just a surreal image — a fiction perhaps urban legend…. I wanted to intrude and wake up one of the shadows. I found that they were mostly aged people ..tens of tens of them… I know how my grandparents acted even in their worst crisis in sickness, senility and even at their deathbed but to see each one reflect an emotion familiar yet not familiar –indignity, witlessness, and defeat were emotions that flashed before me– multiplied in tens, it was an indescribable feeling of neglect. I saw movement, thrashing and heard someone moan, another cough and one groan, some were already waking up probably to relieve themselves or prepare for bath. A pump on on one part of a condemned building serves as cover and bathhouse…. Coming closer I saw a few aged men in briefs already taking a bath… taking advantage of others still asleep..I could not help not look… a different kind of curiosity came over me. They keep their regimen of waking up early to prepare themselves… I remember that was how my grandparents do out of habit and bad bladder control… Like my older parents nowadays– keeping busy, smelling the fresh morning air and exercising… sometime we could blame it to insomnia… The few women and men already up hurried around. In a few hours, people would be milling and walking on their sleeping bodies if they do not remove themselves from the pavement… Where is their retirement benefits? Cebu now is in a State of Calamity from past typhoons. The typhoon even affected neighboring countries this month of June and July 2008… No one could be that prepared for the series of typhoons on this part of the year that hit the Philippines… This was aggraviated by rising costs in petroleum… The normal exodus of people to the big city has complicated matters too… Cebu is a fast growing city but do we sacrifice lives unnecessarily through neglect and apathy?… I see few hope for us if we could not help our country’s pillars of wisdom and well of experiences. If Filipinos would not help one another… these same people would be taken advantaged of and left out to pasture in the city unappreciated, preyed always by vagrants… If we could only offer hope of building dignity and compassion up again we could make a marked change…

A block away was covered stalls of fresh flowers and candles to be sold. Offerings for the Catholic God. Across was the closed Church of Sto. Niño and near it were other churches to early to be open … –a patron god child image tasked to save and bring hope against the worst that life could bring… How tragic life could be… This so bother me as a Filipino. I could not reconcile what one could do that would address this without the help of many people together…
All the limelight here shine on politicians and entertainment personalities… We always criticize and always tear down what our opponents build. This is the crab mentality that we practice and manana habit that we bury ourselves in. We cannot care for the elderly yet we challenge them for survival, take from them their wisdom, constantly sap their love, wring years of support, forget their caring. We bring them to the chaos of rallies, dissent, criminality, harassment, delays of bill and laws that should address their welfare and sometimes sexual abuse. If we could prepare the future for our children we could look to the beginning to nourish our elders.

I see the marked difference of other Filipinos in bed still also waking up from drunken spree past 1 pm to start again the cycle and of some just whiling away at gossips and glorifying whiter skin and fairer complexion. Beauty defined the metrics of success… Money used for too fleeting concerns. Age never qualified for it. Exodus brings progress but it brings unnecessary pain… There are alot of drugs on the street here too… gang war with fraternities as we see the graffiti on every walls around… the practice of youths with too much time on their hands marking their territories and daring themselves to do the next level…that is also life unavoidable … of the many prostitutes, transvestites and hostos that abound here… it colors the perception and concerns… with people misled, taken advantaged off and/or taking advantage on others whichever side we put ourselves on… hope is hard to find… This is the city of life, development and progress…

I wonder when the majority of the Filipino people would start to save enough to protect their retirement and future… When elderly people are neglected they have nothing to draw from … Most are obligated in their old years to keep supporting their children’ lifestyle, grand children’ daily meals and comfort while their own grown up children work or some enjoy uncomplicated existences and make more children… I would always scold if ever I see that grandparents were left with youngsters… they should have quality time with these treasures too but to enjoy them not to raise them up after raising up ungrateful sons or daughters…to have something behind them to support themselves when they need to… To own or live in a house that could not be taken away from them and where to enjoy the fruits of their labor if not their simple retirement. I see a lot of our elderly sleeping across the pavements of churches in Cebu City even in Manila drawn to the pious structures and people who live there and worship there … Some forgotten and others on daily pilgrimage uncared for in the years way past after their own children would have their own family… I remember the images and would remember still that people live barely covered with cartons…There are tens of tens of them still here… Calamity victims and would be victims again when the next typhoon comes in August ….

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
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******

Poems and Compilations 1999

2011-09-20T04:37:00.000-07:00

the f’kin clean blogging slate
April 14, 2008, 4:34 am

I wonder what would it feels like to have a clean slate? To be in a new place with no strings and no baggage. To go back to basics. Think of living at a residence with a plate number - the trunk of your car. Have all your personal things, photos and your resumes handy in your yahoo email. Just worry about parking space for the day if I would go as far as to keep a car. Just be free with your locker, fitness first gym program, steady job, your wallet, cell phone, laptop and credit cards, a post box to keep mail and a blog website to track you down…I would sleep under the stars and swim on uncharted waters. Blog all day on unlimited internet. Dwell on the mysteries of what to eat the next hour. Muse the beauty of simplicity. Just writing thoughts. Experience fleeting images of everyday routine and not be affected by it. Picture overload on 360 degrees of happenings! Gimiks and nightlife to the max! Make your major choices everyday and live on it for the night. No room for regrets. Wander the streets with just the shirt on your back and a splash of cologne. Be a traveler of the land. Be a king amongst men. Be a blogger madman. Be a gypsy in a city!
I want to try this now. I want to be irresponsible in this stage of life. I want to feel this free. Apply everything as if your whole life depends on that day’s outcome. I want to let go of what connects me for just one minute and feel this uncertainly certain of what could be. I want to sleep in a place that feels like a king’s room. Eat at a king’s table and live a vagabond’s dream… It would surely make me think of putting in money in my accounts and setting up a cash flow to support this. I would not be able to leave my job but keep more opportunities to paint, to draw and to find my muse. I want to just own a pencil and find paper around to draw. I want to leave my drawing everytime I finished it. Not to look back at my children - my blood. Not to worry if they would end up as someone’s prize possession or just overlooked trash. I want to cut strings and take gambles. To charge my phone in public places. Not have a residence under my name or an address to keep me anchored. Just to keep a PO box for my mail and to have nothing but a thought where to sleep for the night. I would wash my hands in public places keep my things in small sachets. Not wear underwear and have everyone not know the difference. Buy my socks a piece a day. I would have separate treasure troves around the city to keep me mobile. Small laudry bags of clothes. Not worry about my place burning to the ground or be disturb day and night with a neighbor’s daily squabbles. Sleep in a hotel every other night. Not see a familiar face because you have none to be familiar with. Everyone is a new face. An always aquaintance in a city millions. I wouldn not be afraid of walking again around the streets because I live on the streets. I would have my secret identity in work as I become a superhero after I finish my hour shift. Books, cherished possessions, trinkets of memories, sentimental objects, things of pleasure, papers of degrees, thropies of successes, symbols of wealth and signs of prestige are what makes me want to stay in one place - to ground myself and to be safe. To be plain. Losing my identity and being part of a mindless shit. Settle for retirement and expect my pension when I get to my sixties. That is still in 25 years. I want to live more. To know I’ve done this. To die on the streets if I have to. I don’t want to wait that long. I’ve done with this hibernation and I’m off to my hiatus. My shangrila is the world and I have not scratched it yet and made my trail. I dont want to say that I will go there someday. I want to go there today. I am living my life as I’ve always dream of. I have conformed all my life. I’m breaking free. Thinking back, I promised myself to not be constrained with adults ways of thinking. I want to have a child’s outlook. I want my sleep and to not wake up to go to school. I want to play in the rain and not go inside. I want to have a holiday everyday. To spend my allowance on candies and toys. To wear my clothes the whole day. Not to wear slippers. To be carefree and irresponsible. Mundane living has caught up with me and I am bucking up. I don’t want to harm people but I just want to be left alone. I see it clearly now that I will not bend nor give up my simple things for the complexities of a promised reward. I want to do as William Blake would put it “to see a whole world in a grain of sand”. This is what I want. Just mellow on life, sip my tea and living it to the full. April 14 2008.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

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please comment and tag if you like my compilations.

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************

finding the lost… do you want to now?
April 13, 2008, 12:48 am

last night i got talking with anthony v. about loved ones in the states… he was separted from his ex and four kids and with a lowly income than he used to have… what can one do to with this dealt set of cards? immigrate i told him… half of worrying is missing your kids and not seeing them grow up…told him to look up www.murthy .com just to asses one’s chances of being able to go there and legally stay there…heck it! you should do something about your situation…don’t dwell on muck…your choices were yours in the first place…live for the day…reasses and move forward…make the best of your choices always…
finding you children in the internet might seem romantic but realistically i would still prefer you apply legally for visits and establish contact… hell his wife is smart to establish herself away from everything that would pull her down…vengeance is good with you not around to be guilty about the plight of someone you hate…
i have family members in the same plight… well that’s another story or stories…but its an ugly business of children against parents…of growing old and no memories to keep you warm any day..forgiving and looking past missed chances, barely keeping hope up and continuously straining a few cherished memories to live through..elevating it to pedestal qualities…realistically overlooking the sane and the real.
it takes two to tango but a band always plays the music. fighting couples often forget that each hateful words or angry stare wounds not only the other but what they borne.
i hope my children would love me unconditionally… making me realize that powerful emotion of protection i take for granted… we were a family of a few words but unsaid things have equal measures as said ones. i hope my young ones would understand me. but do i do for my own parents? i hope i can be forgiven my worst mistakes but do i forgive others theirs with no strings attached.
as i write this i know i have not forgiven many but they forgave me a long time ago…i have not let go of my pride and have never given myself fully…afraid always of not meeting the measure of life… april 13 2008

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at

www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

www.amielroldan.wordpress.com

www.amielroldan.blogspot.com

www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html

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**********

Farting A Relationship
April 12, 2008, 3:37 am

Farting A Relationship
I haven’t given myself a chance for a relationship to start. Afraid that I would fail and that the perfect would not be complete. I never let go of things I am comfortable with. I never divulged my biggest fear. Too afraid of public humiliation. A sound distinct and recognisable in any language. A hero’s greeting and a villain’s bane. To dispassionate with any emotion. Too inhibited to share. Too safe as many would say. Never once forgotten. Always regetted. A release of sentiments to share. Lighting up a match like a beacon of purity.
At this stage of my life I attained greatness but not shared with anyone in defeat. I pushed away people before I get hurt. I hurted before I would commit. Life can be so simple if one just let go.
I wish I would not cringe when I fart and think I made a mistake. Like an open ‘hi’ and a warm escaping cry. Beautiful is it?
I wish people would fart when they greet you. Like a ‘helleor!’ The exchanges between earthly people. Ah! life is so complicated at times. We make it harder still when we keep it inside or blaming it with looks at other people. April 12, 2008

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

Dare You .. Last Night for the Young
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan

I was at Malate Manila after an exhibit opening at the Cultural Center of the Philippines with acquiantances. Cris Rollo, Alex Magno, Arman Santos, M Cabagnot and et al… Penguin Cafe was packed. Still it was cozy. I wanted to catch up on people. Sid was in Vermont at that time. Arman called him up and we said regards. Lucky Sid being able to travel with a grant from ACC and Vermont Studio Centre. I wanted to talk about art with some of these new friends after a self-imposed hibernation. Philosophy was a good start …M Cabagnot threw alot of ideas… Hmmmm… Can we steer back to Art.. Yet it quickly turned into a penchant for gossip…Did you or did you not have anything to do with this person? It became ackward at some point… I just wanted it cleared for the record… Being too naive I always avoided confrontations and being personal most of the times…Still it was a good night… Met new acquaintances and just relaxed…I was uneasy with my new impressions, new habits and ideas…Body gestures that are best to let pass. I wanted a connection to the past…. Yet maybe it was a bit late now to reminisce.
I missed my old friends… the feeling of being same…I wanted to build something again but I didn’t know where to start…I just missing chances…
I just turned 34… a few weeks back. Maybe I feel sentimental. What did I miss? What the heck am I doing with my life this night? Maybe I would just go home and pleasures of the forgetfulness would be for another night.
A friend is sick and I am very much worried about his condition. It is just what we feared. We had all the warnings yet its just bound to happen. I hope he gets better and keeps improving. I haven’t visited him yet. Maybe next week. A birthday has come and gone with neither a text or a hello. Maybe next week? A personal decision? I pray for him always. I do not want to lose a good friend.Maybe next week? Do I want a new one? Maybe next week? June 29 2006

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html

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******

Peregrination

Each individual step that most of us make towards a particular place is propelled by the desire to chart a new destination of experience. To add, each one is faced by factors that oppose and conform to them that even when they begin their search for haven with the same choices they end up in different sides.
It is not always based on aspects of idealism or longings for a Utopia but rather on the choices one make with respect to their environ and being. The reasons why we often need to have our own space to put our dreams, memories and personal memento will be the same reasons why we would stay or move on..
The concept of ‘a peregrination’ is personal search for numerous experiences that make one whole. Thus each individual has something to relate on their field of experiences, stories, indoctrination through an exhibit of paintings. It is physically boxing in sentiments, alienation or revelations in a series of works and confronting our contemporary awareness and beliefs in another sujourn.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

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www.amielroldan.blogspot.com

www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html

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******

Regents Unite

the art scene should look into themselves, their priorities and upon
their theoretical stand and embody all of them to the fullest extent
that they could afford and sustain. They have been lax and unappreciative with what the atmosphere and opportunities bring and
have been major detractors and confused critics rather than a balm and catalyst to health and growth, in that same order, to all the people
concerned.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

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at my blogs:

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******

Goals and Aspirations
**July 8, 2000

Priorities seem to materialize as one matures enough to understand the many intricacies of life and develop their goals and aspirations.
Constantly realigning yourself in the ever chaotic turmoil of everyday decision-making has a sobering affect like a dunk in icy water.
We are not famous nor significant people to many but we constitute the norm and embody the traits of aspiring and self-worthy generation. We are the young artists.
The visibility of the young artists in the arts has been much on the minds of a lot of those expecting another phase in the Philippines art scene.
The younger people of the arts are geared up and expected to fill in the void. Here we should take in consideration that when these young people embody this vision of empowerment they should lead to the development and the continuation of what history has provided us for the Philippine arts. Young people tend to negate the history we inherit and null any advancement. Any major art contributions still remain fads or gimmicks of the age that as soon as is seen soaring would plummet back after the novelty wore off. Thus we remain reactionary in every action that we take and here we all lose. We remain as the rebels of the other cause and not the persons of worth we ought to be in practice. We should be aware of our history and particularly where we start from.
We have to visualize the idea and definition of the young artists to mean a person regardless of age or practice with a vision to improve the Philippine Arts to its full potential while striving to improve a worthy self to embody them. Redefining perceptions of the players is only one small step to rediscover our path. Creating appreciation, support and venues would propel the arts amidst it global brothers.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html

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******

The Promise
*** December 1999

Man seeks the destiny on his own to find;
A path to choose to walk alone,
Be one with another but first seek contentment in self;
Find the truth in lies and the lies in honesty.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html

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****

The Semblance
**** March 2000

I glance at a reflected image,
only to see the imperfections of life.
To glance at a simple reality,
through eyes of a beholder.

Complex is man that he weaves a pain so consuming,
To bring out a cry from the depths of his soul.
Only to understand the thin layer of fulfillment,
He has already thrown away.

I saw a bitter truth in the eyes of my peers.
A helplessness with what we have.
The singleness of defeat.
Multiplicity in our failures.

Never again would I ask for what they could not give.
For I could not bring them to the lows I’ve been.
All the questions unanswered and all the answers unheard,
Warp not the image I have for I am weak.

I wanted to run from these that remind me of my misery
but I only seem to go in circles.
Repetitious upheavals in the minutest turns.
Uncomfortable in all its being.

The smallest I hold precious to my heart,
and the greats I could never let go.
They are all my rivets of calm,
that anchor me solid to ground.

A nodule of paranoia.
A lost soul too pitiful to find lost.
Struggling with what life gave,
and so helpless in the elements that it thrives on.

Herald death to my doorstep at my greatest,
but do not I beg of you, in my defeat.
Bring me to fruition in my redemption
Fulfillment in my simple image.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at

www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

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at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html

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******

we do not believe in harming other people…we condemn the g2 horror…
October 21, 2007, 4:39 am

i do not believe in harming people… live your life to the fullest without stepping on others… without causing them to suffer…without harm… i used to walk around malls just to relieve the stress of work…to clear one’s thoughts… to contemplate…to enjoy the simple things that i could do for free…to wish that i could save up for a good life…to breathe deeply ….away from outside polluted air…life is hard ….it could be harder…it is a struggle…fate deals us her hand…. there are no more spaces that one could go around the concrete cities that we brought upon ouselves… yet oasis still sprouts in the lively people… of children and of families…of young people and of old … we are so carefree… the beauty of being alive and the goodness of helping others…the sincerity and life amidst commodities….we do have that… we want to hear voices around us in laughter ..in joy….we seek to be with love ones…. when one is not secure in these simple leisures then we have nothing left to be proud of… the glorietta 2 event left us with nothing more than hate and an unfilipino bad taste… We of the smiling faces no longer could say that we have more in life to look forward to…. a hope….a goal… a chance to be better… the struggle uphill is lost….when we destroy lives we don’t give hope…we stop it…we betray living… stop the hate….stop the killings… help your fellows live their lives to the fullest…be filipino…. october 20, 2007

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

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at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html

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******

im living in cebu city for a while
August 19, 2007, 4:51 am

work needs to be fun. just transferred to cebu. have an apartment all my own for a while. hope to paint and relax.
It’s great here! I keep in mind that i dont have to rush on doing everything here possible… I like to know i have options and choices and they are much more here…There is always the international airport just less than hour away if i want to think of grander escapades…I want to start a business here and I have less connections here than in manila but I have more chances of keeping it up and affording it… I just feel that with so many things much closer here, I would have more fun…heheheehe.. i would suggest though to move here to start afresh..lie low and just observe…manila has to miss me too…it less grander and cosmopolitan here than makati but hey i’ve been to nyc and am not complaining…its a place for hiatus and getting missed…missing people..knowing your priorities…knowing your are a priority…we’ll party next time…
august 20, 2007.

*****

on a new job and a new place…
July 18, 2007, 10:23 pm

well, i did it. i just upped and called for a major upheaval. volunteered that is for a brand new life. am moving in a week’s time to cebu to work there. i get a house, living expenses and relocation allowances on top of salary adjustment. i am a bit sad that i would be leaving behind friends and family. well not for long though, as excitement just overwhelms me. i just can’t believe that i am finally nearer my dreams of independence and painting in peace. will visit the beach soon. lie under the sun, play with my dog on the sand and hold a major account. Yesss!!!. will meet new people. i finally have a studio and an apartment and a place to call all my own. what more could a single guy ask for… i just regret that i cant continue my classes at up diliman but up cebu beckons. we never stop learning and i could just concentrate on languages this year.i just can’t believe it’s real!!!! will be busy this week with all the details. but friends are always welcome to stay. but not for long. will invite my friends abroad to cebu and imbibe on the air. so bye for now… july 19, 2007

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

Poems 2000

2011-09-20T04:35:00.000-07:00

The End of a Dream

Whenever I wake up,
and the mist of slumber still reigns,
I glance around in fear
on what this dream might be.
So compelling it beckons to dread,
that I could only feel icicles
and coldness in my body.
Shivering oddly
wanting it this time to be real.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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www.amielroldan.tk
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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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******

Of Missed Chances

Once in a dream so unreal,
I gathered the sighs of missed chances.
Held them all in my palms,
Still I felt the lost so heavy on limbs.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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******

Life

Suffer a burden too real,
Know its pain of cutting
and feel its biting lessons,
that when it comes again,
one should flee its hold.
Never to be trapped
on legs that don’t unfold.
Dark son and daughter, run!

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
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******

The Heritage

I run across a vast maze;
In search of a solitary acacia mast,
A haven to dwarf the land;
A temper to still.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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******

The Differences to Find

I found in a difference;
And it discovered me,
In its light I found something dark,
While the darkness blinded me.
Traitor it called me
A liar and a thief.

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
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******

The Eruptions

In the lightest of gestures
I see so much meaning;
That I could only hold until,
A fiery blast so consumes me;

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
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www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

undying

say ‘undying’,
a couple of times
it might stay a minute
its hand.

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
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******

minute minutes

we time our walks
run our daily rituals
bring about sentiments
clockwise spins

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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******

creatures of passion
May 10, 2008, 7:19 pm

we are earth bound to follow our desires. we bring our souls, to the heights and lows. to discover what truly lies behind our journey … our heart’s sujourn…

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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******

of night in darkness

i am lost in thought about what we want to do with our lives… we reinvent and enjoy what we have… bring our children always to what is right, lawful and compassionate…

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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****

Compilations of Old Blogs Part 4

2011-09-20T04:33:00.000-07:00

The start of our generation of then young artists of SBW!
April 17, 2009, 9:44 pm
***04 18 2009

One could sum up the number of artists struggling to be recognized in the Philippine art scene and find out that it would stretch almost infinitely. From the earliest I could remember in the 1990’s we were aggressive. We were always up to the dare. We were focused perhaps because there were also equally good and better young artists around us to measure ourselves with. The artist group Salingpusa and Sanggawa were both breakthroughs. The equally strong response and competitions from the Chabet conceptual artists were a pleasurable view. Both overlapping and producing more good exhibitions that we waited with rapt attention to. So many artists were also accorded recognition in the Thirteen Artists Award and figured in prestigious and not so known art competitions. We knew all of them and we knew that within the group everyone had the potentials to be better. There were exceptional young individuals charting on their own too. These young artists were rare and easily supported by the few prominent galleries. Galleries were snobbish then and particular on who was selling a lot. It was a tough deal to present your works. Some eventually recognize that there should be some opportunities opened to other aspiring ones but it did not mean the younger lot. It was just that the quota was already almost filled up during our times. Yet we all did not want to give up. Perhaps because we do well to work with our group best we stuck it out together.

We succeeded eventually. We recognized earlier that it was tough getting represented in a better gallery. Unless you had connections. We never wanted to suck ass. It was a tough uphill fight but eventually most enjoyed the journey. We wanted to show and we wanted to share. We broke through most hurdles to bring out changes and other perspectives that young artists contend with. We stuck together even with the sharpest criticism from personalities. We reacted, changed and also challenged.

Finally, breaks were offered and this made more the challenge interesting as more were offered recognitions and became critical to include and encompasses different morphing concepts and new influences. We became more afraid of being labeled or included as an afterthought to an existing movement and fought against it tooth and nail. We did not want to limit ourselves in a box. Between the SR, Genre Realists, Modernists, Conceptuals and et al there were very few vacancies left. We delayed because that would not force us to alienate those not including. Eventually we concluded financial concerns would have forced us to commit but we wanted to postpone it. Perhaps because we were lucky enough to find patronage, support and guidance from the two prominent curators of our time that time itself became more flexible. We also were very fortunate to have them as good mentors, teacher and friends. Mr. Roberto “Bobi” Valenzuela and Prof. Roberto Chabet were unique because they led us all in a merry pursuit for excellence, great exhibitions, good ideas, competition, a bigger playing field, confidence and vision. Because we saw in these two people checks and challenges that made it a worthwhile struggle to always rise up and succeed. A real power struggle without the bloodshed but mutual respect and ever so better exhibitions.
I would like to take the opportunity to thank Prof. Roberto Chabet and the late Mr. Bobi Valenzuela. Both were well loved pioneers in their own ways in promoting young Filipino artists and helping them stand independently and create better works. They have been stalwart supporters of Contemporary Art in the Philippines. In their ways they have helped young artists including myself to be independent and challenged.

Waiting the line for recognition, we saw eventually some became lost. Some sacrificed time to do what could be better for the majority. Some delayed. But it was a rarity who gambled friendships and relations for that elusive 15 minute fame. They always came back. We recognized that to succeed we have in competition what we have achieved as a group. Anything less paled from the success of the formalities of SBW. It opened up time for most of the members to metamorphose and be more confident in bringing out individuality in each’ works. The one big break rolling that could make him/her into a success (in one’s own estimation that is). Just to let you know our group never had settled for lesser because our checks were very vicious – camaraderie, opposing polarity, unpredictability, consensus and the Surrounded By Water spaces.

We started with exhibitions organized during college years mainly from ideas borne from an enthusiastic professor with time to burn and huge amount of ideas to tap from. (The trunk of his car). Founding the group Yellow Door for our first group exhibit and instantly killing it after sending a bunch of press kits to newspapers and seeing it in print would be a clue on what later would be ‘dynamic’ and ‘unpredictable’. To be noted that it came as a title of prestige in attaining the much sought after Fine Arts college room is another. It never so much passed the group consensus so it ended down the drain.

We also started going to gallery openings and meeting a lot of people. We built friendships and our own presence to support fellows. We were invited to talk about our ideas and eventually that led to being recognized as a group. We were often referred to as UP group. There were other students from other schools and we complimented them. We were able to come up with shows and organize traveling exhibitions that opened up more venues. Some of us began to specialize on different tasking for the group. It came naturally that we respected the group norm. Internally we were stronger and we challenged each other more. We explored going to different alternative venues like Pundaquit Zambales and being involved with localities. We also planned for a regular studio that would house us. We rented the roof top of a dormitory building to work in. After college we met often. We then started again to exhibit.

We became a precedent wherein we would through the years hardly find ourselves the only ones neither entertaining nor attaining. Exhibitions abroad and prominent local shows happened. The international residency grants and collaborations with international artists offered glimpses of what is. The influx of international curators and galleries eying the local artists came and added interests. The times and recognition have changed the field again. Skyrocketing rents opened and closed galleries. It marked the importance too of bigger spaces like warehouse and unrented ones. Alternative spaces became formal ones. There would also be conflicting gains in the balloon effect of auctions or the prominence of exhibiting abroad in artificially resuscitated countries. The Recession of 2008 continuing had been a reality check and a welcome challenge to reassess.

I became sentimental now while watching my fellows prepare for the exhibit “In the Ocean Without a Boat or a Paddle: A Surrounded By Water Exhibit “ for 2009. We could not always decide on how to curate the group show without stepping on a few toes. I still cringe about it but I hope I am and all of us are mature now. I understand now that we were scared that we would not be doing our best if we could not curate the works properly. I had always been naïve to leave it black and white but we always have to grow up. We had to be more professional about it. Looking at it always from a different perspective. I just wanted my friends around me and to do what I do best.
The successions of exhibitions came to be. It started a saga that would stretch all throughout our lives as friends (now more than fifteen years and counting in 2009). With this new undertaking we close the chapter and begin another again as equals. I have not been truthful always about my loyalties. I never spoke out but I had always assumed that we together would overcome the challenges. We came together as friends. Most of us had come from second degrees and had transferred from other degrees. We were older than most college freshmen. We grew to include more people with what we started and we became more responsible for a greater thrust and hopefully for a better Philippine Art scene.
Thus, the story begins! From a brainchild borne from toddling and teetering to the unknown. Ideas fed upon would make way for the leading turned-up-heads of the ending century. An impressionable feat that started for a no-name artist group and eventually took in the mantel of the Surrounded By Water when we had to formally fill up SEC registrations. Initially we were thirteen who signed the requirements but we included more from then on informally.
A steady absorption of information and names to go with had nourished an unconquerable sense of self-preservation to succeed tempered by eagerness to create. Too much one might observe and often remarked by critics too soon perhaps. Today we cross this junction and validate ourselves again. A better background for the economic recession of 2008.

The 2009 playing field has change but the hunger has remained for challenges. One might say a lot of us in Surrounded By Water have reached our peak but we will never be satisfied. We know the potentials of each member like our own through the years. We grew up together and we will grow up some more.

The shawarma logbook has been one of the major representation for this early unnamed group. It contained our misplaced propriety that most fandom as progress. There were several volumes of these logbooks that housed ideas, memories and doodles. They just happened to show up in the room and many took it up to draw or write something on. It was the diary of our group and it was opened to all. It housed our hang ups.

A bright idea of coming up with a rented venue for our own without any experience and enough capital was pure suicide then. We rushed forward. Despite this minor setback, one explains to another, we have something to work on together and eventually fall on. This would also culminate in the inevitable break-up of individuals and the steady solidification of factions. Changes to make us stronger had eventually come.
Hardly, a consolation to a bunch of already desperate and struggling to live young idealists. Despite a crowded itinerary for the years to come, we still found an occasion to add some more. “Quite obstinate bastards!” I might say. The Surrounded By Water Galleries were born. We had support from patrons who lent us the spaces, the collectors and buyers, the thankful people who brought in collectors and buyers, other artists for support and ordinary street people who just happen to be curious of what was going on inside. These we would be thankful for and remember.

Surrounded By Water Angono then came to be as a need to pursue a stand for the young artists of Angono, Rizal against the established norm. A concept shared by its pioneer to the group. It was a novelty that would carry us across and cushion most barbs aimed too low. Constant bombardment of the festive aesthetics with the UP formula of mayhem would take its toll. A chink would soon show itself yet solidify quickly to make up for it. A sentiment of change was in the air and a sure surprise to the oldies. It gave birth to Surrounded by Water Ortigas and then Surrounded by Water Cubao.
It was quite uncomfortable to wake up suddenly to find a gallery to loud for comfort and too energetic in vision. We did notice the changes that we come into like the need for brainstorming and the delegating of the odd jobs of managing the place. It would be a major factor to note assets that we share— which is the hunger to learn, to compete and to explore. This would be struggling through the end. We started obliging ourselves to each and every task at hand as if we could burn every cynics to Jolo with all the bombardment of shows that we have at hand. Sometimes we kept on forgetting that we owe one another a chance to attain our own goals and the space to grow. We strove forward some more.

The entree of the isolationists, the ever younger artists and the groupies would begin. It became better and encompassed more young artists. It became an umbrella to support other venues and more exhibitions. Another chapter to the ever evolving life of would be artists of Surrounded By Water. It would span a few more years. But our growth together were longer and that counted in the end. We would eventually forgive ourselves and others and have the closure that we needed to grow some more.

Being part of a curious lot of young artists has even given each of us a chance to collaborate on (Surrounded By Water Angono, Ortigas and Cubao artist-run-spaces) exhibitions and group related projects. The group has since altered its original concepts, allowing more to transform and move on in their individual techniques, ideologies and beliefs. It may have just been curiosity that we started to exhibit together. It would stand like this until the next reunion for sentimental people.
P.S. After the exhibit opening the reviews were mixed. The Blanc Compound Shaw was a good space, supportive owner and there were better artists now. The works were hinting of different directions and reinventing oneself. Changes that fewer older artists dare to thread on this later stage. We pulled it off. There were a lot of good audiences. We were older. We were still friends but not best of friends anymore. We might be in the ocean without a boat or a paddle but we were moving onwards slowly. Damn! We still are hungry!

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
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******

A Newer Art Chapter in Manila
April 15, 2009, 4:14 am

I wonder what would this new chapter bring? I am excited for the run. A thrill for the unexpected and a high for the journey. I am back in Manila for a long time. There are some changes that are here to stay. I’ve looked back in the past and have had my share of hangups, insecurities, confrontations and challenges. Perhaps I have counted what I had missed rather than what I have gained. Material commodities and security are gains that one could expound when one had them. I appreciate my journey more for having them. Knowing what you are capable of and understanding the playing field. Just doing your research is a big contentment for me. I rather felt guilty that I opted for a hiatus when everyone was finally sitting down and working. Stress brings out the best in me or rather the stubborn facet in me. I had stretched myself far and distanced too long for comfort in these few years. A long meditation of three years seems to be a good idea then. I appreciate it now even more being there once with the immediacy of the current situation… Well, I am back for good. I am very happy about what I see on the field. A lot of artists have taken the international level seriously… They have come back with new works that we could only be better with. Some have not come back and that is there loss. A new taste and distinctions have whet the appreciation more for good Filipino art.
It is not one’s fault that we face a bigger challenge with the world economic situation. It is a boon now for us seeing the market has always been there albeit temporarily unstable. I am now ready for a new chapter with the newer people in the field. I hope I am ready for it with a newer zest for changes…
Recession has affected a lot of industries and the art scene has not been left untouched and coming up with newer works could be financially breaking with the audiences eying the market viability and liquidity. Remembering that understanding and always learning would equip ourselves with our tools to survive. The market will always have its supporters for gains and detractors for losses. One could always appreciate buying when the prices are lower or selling when it is higher. Now I guess is the time to produce more and exhibit often… We have newer audiences with our youth coming of age and newer artists to welcome in our folds.
The international artfairs, biennale and auctions might have just closed its doors but it would open new avenues for a different venue for the Filipino artists or rather the Filipino Art. Galleries have opened and committed themselves. Weathering out this temporary set back is the attitude. Reinventing themselves opens up a newer appreciation and a wider support. A few years back we rue the lack of venues for art viewing that brought the ARS and now that we have better galleries we would rue again? In bigger playing fields we should play bigger and better. Hiding now is a waste of time unless you want to regroup. It is time for the foundations to widen and encompass the newer set of players - the younger artists. They have always been aggressive and more so now that a better future awaits them with more exposure, easy tested access and knowledge for better works.

One could be brilliant about one’s approach. Learning the ropes first before jumping in should be automatic… A time and tested strategy. Changing or rather to let it run its full course and understand the flow before rushing in has its advantages… Changes need not be confrontational but going with the current rather than against it and coursing it to different direction to lessen the strength. Here we gather the force to make it run over mountains and over falls. In this case the 2009 recession in the Philippines will be a cinch. It will be here for the next couple of years but we Filipinos will survive and now we will chart a new direction with other Asian artists with our awareness of standing up when we stumble and being stronger. Lets paddle some more art for the coming years. 04 14 2009

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
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www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

A personal event… Bobi V
February 3, 2009, 10:35 am
****11 30 2008

I learned at this time about Roberto “Bobi V.” Valenzuela’s condition… Lying prone in E.R. a shadow of the then stalwart figure in Philippine Arts. A familiar face to most of us. Why is my friend not smiling? This is my teacher… I have been away far to long… A mentor in his prime who similarly had multiple ischlemic strokes like my dad… He is very close to me and being helpless about his situation drove me mad and stressful at times when I had to stay away… Fate brings us challenges that make us shine forth. Throughout the years that Bobi V. has been with us he brilliantly shines. This is my lifelong friend.

He had preparation for his condition. He was forewarned with his initial aneurysms to take his medicine, consult his doctors and to slow down. A sinking feeling that not all could be addressed nor overcome without preparation. Guiding him initially past on his first stroke was our challenge then and he succeeded… After this, he could hardly slow down… A second chance in life was taken with heedless exuberance with what was happening around - to throw caution to the wind… It is true that when the passions for art claims us it would never let us go until we excel or fail. It always claims a greater responsibility, accountability and lifelong sacrifice.

Like meteors we only glimpse them a few seconds before they shimmer their brightest and spread across the landscape as the finest dust we breathe…. Bobi V., like anyone on top of his field, always feels invincible and there would be lapses. When even brilliance gives way to the frailty of health. Our own fate to face sometimes. Challenging one’s own is what drives us to great ideas… Challenging others leads to greatness for all… Challenging fate there is none that could do it indefinitely. Bobi V. led us to be better persons and challenged the best artists that we could be.

He had a third stroke and this brought him to a complete stop and to me a realization that there would be others in my family who might encounter the same fate… He is my mentor, friend and second father… I know this man loves me so much… I am not ashamed that i do too… “I love you so much Bobi V.”

He was a father that I talked with because my father seldom did with me… He is a good friend… I can help again… can’t I? I could nurture and help him heal again… Give a little more sanity despite his condition? This person gave me a lasting friendship and a sense of pride.

I remembered an incident with Bobi Valenzuela. After a few months of recuperating from his first stroke. I dared him to cross the streets of Mandaluyong and we went to Mega Art Center… I then saw my thesis professor across also recuperating from his own bout sporting a cane. Hearing how there was always a misunderstanding between these two prominent figures in the Arts and always confounded by misled followers… escalating to civility in so many occasions. I had blistered ears from so many hours of class under this great teacher of the University with my ideas and inept paintings to prove that. I dared curator Bobi Valenzuela to cross the floor and greet Professor Roberto Chabet. Having Bobi V. at my side and my thesis professor across I could hardly breathe. Let this pass as a tribute to understanding and the good outcome of my thesis…. Ha! ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Both having worked unbeknown on my drafts as I challenged both to best figure out my thesis concept then titled “Prusisyon.”

The seconds ticked as both proud men saw and acknowledged each other across the seemingly small Mega Mall 4th floor… Professor Chabet could hardly ignore me as I was his most challenging student then nor I’m sure that anyone would back down to the inevitable confrontation. These are the two people closest to my epitome of what I would like to be. It struggled to minutes as they closed the distance. They met, exchanged a few words and shook hands to bury forever doubt on where they stood - at parallel in encouraging greater works from Filipino artists with their organized and well curated shows. They then went back on their own way…

I wanted to pipe out to have coffee together but conceded that this was better left unsaid… Especially with Bobi content at my side. At peace on getting back the pride of being one of the best in his generation. Realizing I might end up paying for the coffee too and a threat of harsher editing on my compositions. I hurried on. Tsk.tsk.tsk.

Life of a struggling artist-curator could be bad at times. These incidents and many more through the years were worth it though - momentous inspirations that I would carry always with me.

I visited the E.R. and looking at him prone on the bed and eyes cloudy… I sighed… breaking a little inside… It did not help that a litany of prayer for peaceful transition was being recited every half hour… I am crestfallen that it took this long for me to realize what was given to me freely. I admire this person.

I was jokingly referred to then as “Bobi V.’s Representative” in most of the exhibits he curated. I had always detailed on whatever was happening. Woe to the artist exhibiting if he or she so much as took a wrong step or be condescending during the show.

I always challenged his ideas and his exhibits. Being critical reflects his teachings and being open leads to awareness. His insights I would always cherish in writing and curating. I learned to have a good ear and sharper eyes. Composition played second to the story that the exhibit tells. A better part of me became a compassionate art lover and a friend to my peers and artists. A guardian. We stood witness to most of the challenges that generations of Filipinos artists went through. We became empowered and sought to question and incite for better changes. This is the parting gift Bobi V. leaves us. Remember and tell his story.

The once representative looks over the curator and sees the person lying there. ”I am proud of you Bobi Valenzuela.”

Everyone was emotional then and I know this was taking a toll on everyone’s nerves … I decided I would give something back… A bit of laughter to a very close friend… I laughed and said. ” Bobi V you would not believe what Nukie did again on last night’s exhibit” and I made my second father proud… I even saw him quirk his eyebrow up. This is Bobi V. that I know.

After ten days, Bobi V. died… Taken from us so abruptly yet with finalty… I was in Cebu and flew back to pay my last respect to my curator, mentor, friend and father. Safe journey my best friend.

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

When I die I want to be cremated and my love ones to celebrate in white
December 21, 2008, 11:04 pm

We are given a brief time to live in this lifetime… Celebrate it and celebrate the people around you… Find fulfillment in the things you have accomplished and the choices you made… Second chances come rarely for everyone… Make the best of them… Learn from your successes and your failures in equal doses… Find the best people in your lifetime and make your life count … No regrets… Move on and always have closure…

We find joys in simple things and passion in complexities… Journey to our goals add zest to our life… I want my friends and family just to celebrate… I celebrate them and give thanks every minute of my life… I give thanks for the simple things that happen and the same goes for the blessings I receive… Accidents happen and mistakes have their toll… We will learn from them… If you haven’t then I pity you… If I had ten pesos in my pocket I would be happy that I could take a ride to the mall and walk back home satisfied… I don’t want people to wear black and to put old pictures on my coffin… Black is for angst… I wore it for a long time… Its a nice color on canvas mixed with yellow… I want no one to put make up on my defenseless body regardless if i blow my brains up or met a grotesque accident… I just want to live my life and never have to regret… I am happy for what I have accomplished now … If you find that you are not still then go make it happen for the day… If I die in pain I want it to be the last… I don’t want to make a mockery of living as if I had a bad day sleeping inside the coffin… I don’t want memorial pictures of me circulating the web were I have been sporting a bad hairstyle… God forbid that I have my enemies not having their daily dose of nightmare because they got over it by seeing you in your worst… Ha ha ha ha… I would pull the leg of anyone in their sleep every night for taking a video of me when in my worst… I have also the best in store for those posting in good intentions my bad pictures i have in the social network… I wonder where would they get it… I’m sure I have deleted them all….

I am happy with my choices and be happy for me… Yes… I would worry about my family and love ones but this is a new adventure for me… Heck I would worry about my nemesis too..
We strive hard to make a mark in the lives of others in our pursuit of surviving and striving to be the best that we can…. I want it to be a witness… I am happy that I have witnessed the lives of people I am close with and celebrated their lives…I have shared their happiness, regrets, failures, successes, wants and their daily routine… I want it just that I made a simple difference to be remembered … If they forget now then I am happy because they got over it…. I am always thankful for every second that they remembered an anecdote … a word …. an event … a lifetime… a work… a painting … a conversation… a good word … a bad word… a mistake… an inspiration… a helping hand… a cup of coffee… a plate of cake… some pasta… and olives… lots of olives… i would be thankful always and please remember that…but get over it and have a life man … I am moving on… i am journeying alone and I am leaving baggage that would not make life easier…. When I die I want to be cremated and my love ones to celebrate in white and tears to be shed in relief … And yes spread my ashes around my worst nemesis’ house… His coffee cup would be just fine… Ha ha ha ha ha ha… Amiel Roldan…. 12 22 2008

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
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******

Paalam… Bobi Valenzuela Dec 12 2008
December 12, 2008, 4:35 am

Roberto ‘Bobi’ Valenzuela Died on December 12, 2008 at 1:15 am … A Great Filipino Curator… A Father to many… A Good Friend… An Editor … A Writer… A Traveler… A Mentor…
Wake is at Funeraria Paz ; Internment is December 15 Monday at the Manila Memorial Park after the 10:00 am Mass … Both located along Dr. A Santos Ave Sucat Parañaque City Philippines…

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
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******

Death as a Muse
December 7, 2008, 4:55 am

Farewell
11 29 2008

Sid Hildawa has been gone too for months now and its hard to remember him… Maybe because I am in a different place now and the places that you see him has also changed… New people are in position and changes are in the offing… I just know that a few days before he died he made a note and visited my website… Maybe seeing that we have different lives now he never commented on his condition… That I was in Cebu then he had no time to tell… He died of organ failure and so abrupt for a young person… We chose to believe it was just life… But a friend is gone now… A fellow artist who shared his plans and became a friend… Bon voyage Sid!

Life accepted…
11 30 2008

I was also browsing my alumni website at Don Bosco and I am sad that so many have died too… Some taken so abruptly and also too soon… I pray for their family and remember the instances we have met and became friends… Fellow Bosconians I salute you… I offer prayers to my fellow Bosconians who passed away….. Rio Balana I knew since elementary… Lawrence…. Carreon… Candelaria and delos Santos… We were children then and life has been full of the zest… It was hard to believe some were already suffering from sickness and dying… Then it was just beginning but for some it was already ending…

Another death…
11 30 2008

A week back a friend died of a painful cancer and his body was cremated… He died very young and left loved ones… I know it now that it was him who visited a few nights back- to wake me up in my sleep… A fellow artist… I guess it was just a head’s up from Norli… To continue painting and support the young artists that he also helped through the years… Fellows and friends he shared bits of life… He was an avid mountaineer. He will be brought to one he climbed years back by friends and family… His ashes scattered to the wind… He will find peace in the serene setting … Peace that he did not find maybe in death he would… Good bye Norli Lalo…

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
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******

A visit at the cemetery
November 28, 2008, 9:42 pm

A Visit at the Cemetery
11 29 2008

I went with Peds and his 4 year old son, Patrick, to visit my aunt’s grave at Heritage cemetery …. I was in Cebu when she died and could not go back to Manila quickly… I opted not to comeback for a year… This is one of those regrets that I would always remember… She was born December 5 1938 and laid to rest last Dec 18 2007 … She left behind a husband, sons and grandchildren… and all the people who love her… She died of cancer … We discovered it late and she never knew that she had one even until her death… I cried once when I heard this… helpless about my being away… I knew something was wrong then and always told her to have a check up… she looked so frail like my dad in just a few weeks… I did say goodbye then the day I was to fly to Cebu… just a few seconds of images and affectionate bids to take care… She had told me then to mind her sons John and Peds. Specially Peds, her youngest and favorite… He is my best friend… I didn’t know that it would be the worst scenario so soon… i just was euphoric with my finally being on my own in Cebu that I never wanted to cut it short… she had difficulty with the chemo but hearing my cousin relate that she died by his side, it made me glad because my cousin Peds was her baby amongst her two boys… My aunt Crispina was a second mother to me… Never mind that she is also the most shrewdest and alaskador aunt that I knew… I grew up always at their house where ever they moved to and whenever I felt like staying over… I was the eldest and only male in my family of siblings… I always took care of my sisters but hanging out with them was uncool… sigh… My mother was a disciplinarian and usually it came to mind that I do have to take care of all my siblings… I was also a stuck up brat then so figure it out… I was the youngest amongst male cousins and I always wanted to hang out with older friends… I sort of got adopted and went where ever the family goes… I always compared my home with my aunt’s home… It was unfair of me but I always found everything happening outside my home exciting… The cooking and food was great … the excursions were awesome… It was just less neat there… Three rowdy boys running around would create havoc in any average home… Even if I had to share beds , shirts and underwear it was great staying there… I could stay late up at night and knock at neighbor’s doors just to wake them up and run away… i learned pranks from my older cousins… I could yell at the top of my lungs with no one to caution me… I could roll on the floor without any reprimand… Life was sweet then… I am thankful too that my parents allowed me to stay there… I remember then my first crush… first accident…. first of alot of things… I had also my first realization that getting a red mark was not the end of the world since my cousins always got more than me… I had more new friends… I had my circumcision while staying at their place… We cousins always did everything together and shared everything… Probably got body odors and athlete’s foot from sharing … ha ha ha ha ha things… sigh… Luckily, I didn’t continue it long throughout my teenage years when sex happened… much to my own mother’s relief…

I remember my aunt to be very nice but very inquisitive and me the ever polite one couldn’t leave to play with my cousins without answering all her questions… she was a drill sergeant or an fbi… I guess with all the things happening she could always get a straight answer form me.. I never did learn to lie well when I was young.. sigh… I wanted to just keep up with older cousins on all their activities… they were cool… I didn’t want to tell on them… but I guess my aunt knew how to pry out every information from me… Then I just wanted to stay and enjoy childhood pranks with my cousins…. I knew my aunt’s instructions to her sons where to take care of me or else… If I could get my aunt’s approval then my stay would last all throughout summer… Adventures would always happen… I am thankful about that and then…
We loved her dinuguan and paella… She was always great with food and preparations… I remember we would always finish up all the good food she prepared… I was always introduced to all her relatives… I knew most of them… My cousins shared their mother with me… I was not that generous… I remember that my mom would always give me the generous helping and I always took the generous helpings in all gatherings… I know how to share… but with my aunt I had choice not to … well with bigger cousins after your helpings I learned that I had to be faster….. ha ha ha ha… sigh… I miss my aunt…
My aunt died with organ complications… It was a painful death… She had so many challenges in life… She was a quiet person yet strong pillar in our family… She brought wisdom and gentleness… She was always religious and active with church activities… she was a loyal wife and a caring mother… I grew up under her watchful eyes and her wisdom… I am proud of what I have achieved in life… I know she will always guide us and I know that she would always be proud of her sons… She would always be a model for people she left behind… Thank you Tita Crispina ….

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

A personal event…
11 30 2008

I learned at this time about Bobi V…. A mentor who similarly had multiple strokes like my dad… He was very close to me… and being helpless about his situation drove me mad and stressful… He had preparation for his condition… He was forewarned with his initial aneurysms to take his medicine, consult his doctors and to slow down… guiding him past them was my challenge and he succeeded… after overcoming them he could hardly slow down… second chances in life was taken with heedless exuberance with what was happening around… like anyone on top of his field you always feel invincible and there would be lapses and fate… challenging one’s own is what drives us to great ideas… He had a third stroke and this brought him to a complete stop… and to me a complete realization that there would be others in my family who might encounter the same fate… He is my mentor, friend and second father… I know this man loves me so much… I am not ashamed that i do too.. He was a father that I talked with because my father seldom did with me… He is a good friend… I can help again… can’t I? I could nurture and help him heal again… Give a little more sanity despite his condition? I visited the E.R. and looking at him prone on the bed eyes cloudy… It didn’t help that a litany of prayer for peaceful transition was being recited every half hour… Everyone was emotional then and I know this was taking a toll on nerves and emotion… I decided I would give something back… A bit of laughter to a very close friend… I laughed… and I made my second father proud…

After a week of hectic checkups for my parents…that dragged tortuously long and which all turned up insanely normal… my dad has diabetes-that we know, on his years- and this we also accept. He hardly speaks normally- we always hear, always chokes on food and drink this we notice and see, on his third stroke for sometime now without any changes - we are constantly reminded and very emotional that we always feel for him… he cries every time someone remarks on his health… bawls by the bucket… the neurologists says its a condition that happens in most cases with elderly stroke patients… these symptoms and complications have been happening for years now so we were all expecting that… we were not in denial… my dad also knows this despite not being able to help stopping it… so he is also not in one…
His third stroke helped us put a stop on all his extracurricular activities… It literally forced him to retire early without any eventful argument on his Lawyering career… hardly being able to speak to his clients for a few years and having his Fine Arts son as an interpreter would push him to realize that this would be permanent if not addressed properly… and also better stop while we don’t have a case against us… I can’t paint everything you know…

Having a week long brush with obstinate elderly people refusing to have checkups for years… Thankful that only one could speak… Convincing them that self medication and everyday massage is not good… Trying to make them listen to their doctors even though they might look young… to tell them about their past ails because the doctors could not mind read… and not to offer any arguments when it is a statement of fact… still I was really bothered about something big that might happen… a premonition came to me a few weeks past … The only action I could take is to gather my love ones and friends closer… When I arrived in manila… everything seems to be normal… I just went around for a few days reliving and discovering changes… then on the day I was leaving my dad told me he has problems sleeping for a few months now… He literally sleeps for an hour sporadically in a day… We call it powernaps… being in the outsourcing business its not alarming but in his situation it is… My dad seldom complain… I was a year away and I have no ready answer…. I just reassured my dad that we would consult a doctor the next day and to rest first… That drove me crazy inside… I didn’t know how to take a bp… being obstinate that less knowledge is more so I never knew how to take one but I know how to address it …by being calm… I knew his blood pressure was up by just looking how haggard and red his face was… but to panic would bring it to peak… so nonchalantly told him we would look up a doctor tomorrow… panic was never in my vocabulary… everything has a time and place… Should I rush him to E.R.? … get an ambulance… these fleeted in my mind but disregarded… call the neighborhood…? an ambulance…? No! … Let my dad recoup first and to stabilize in familiar surroundings for the night… I decided that he has to have checkup the next day and work has to give in… flying out to Cebu was out of the question… finally rationalizing to rest for the night and give everyone a break… my two sisters were at work, my mom was taking care of my grandma in our province… My dad could hardly walk in a normal day for ten steps without resting and breaking a sweat… frustratingly awkward and heartbreaking… He could hardly speak coherently and easily gets frustrated with other people… Let alone doctors…
I worked hard for years to make sure that my parents have their health insurances… I didn’t want to lose anyone… regardless that we would not pay a cent more… i would gladly pay up for more years and belatedly I was thankful… Sometimes, we do have to let go… Let them live their own lives… Its like convincing my mom that what she knew as truth her whole life was not true anymore… Believe me that is hard! Life is teaching me lessons now. But is it unfair that I try my best to prepare for the worst before anything happens…? Often times, I could only caution friends to savor everyday but to also prepare and to take care of your love ones today… to talk with them… they seldom follow, mind me and usually it is too late… I have premonitions… Like knowing what will happen when talking with a person one on one… I know their fears… I know their loves… I know if they are telling the truth or what they are hiding… It like reading it from their auras… I met another person like me who could read bubble thoughts from above a person’s head… Then I was thankful that I was not unique and alone… I was not curious on what he could read about me… Or what I could tell him about his… I already know the responsibility believing it so good luck… Do you remember the tv series “Today’s Edition” …? It is a blessing and a bane… It seem like I was watching minutes and hours tick to a certain event… I always wish for others’ health and there is a certain exchange… I am accepting them and letting them go… I had regrets that I will remember I did not want more… That at one time I wanted it not… So many sad things happening and sparsely good things in return… Yet with new family members and new friends we still hope to survive… to take care of the newer generation and to hold on to the old as long as we can… in the future they might take care of us too… I have to be back in Manila for other appointments with my dad and mom… They are not taking the correct dosage I’m sure… My mom I’m sure that she is not… She has the gall to tell me that her doctor was young in his pants and her prescription would upset her stomach… My sisters could convince them to go out the door and not a step farther… The married ones could cajole them I’m sure but both have families to attend to and one just gave birth… sigh… It’s decided then… I could bodily carry them both to the doctors’ and let them listen without arguments… sigh… I’m flying next week on Saturday regardless…

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

To Bobi V
November 28, 2008, 5:08 am

Let us pray for strength for Bobi V. and his family on his latest bout with aneurysm… Have our good intentions for your recovery and keep our prayers always by your side … We are all here for you Bobi V…. 11 28 2008

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

cat’s eyes
October 31, 2008, 4:15 am

10 31 2008
the prowling cat also saw the two figures running towards the lamppost across my window… they stayed there for a few minutes just to weather the heavy rain fall.. two friends perhaps from a night out… it was 12 pm … early for going home… but i guess the rain changed their plans… on the headlines early this morning i read about preying adults on young people… i never thought about what was happening below my window when i saw two consenting figures in an embrace to be more than that. it was raining and they rested beneath the protruding roof of a closed cafeteria and they embrace.. quite passionate about it… a bit jesting… i saw the man held out his hand and gave his bottled water to his partner to freely embrace and to keep warm… after that he whispered something too soft as the rain only grew louder… they jostled each other when they crossed… when i saw it was a teenager that accompanied an older man in his thirties… is this that event that is happening around us that we should be shocked about? im sure that the young person was under eighteen… i would be amazed if the police would stop at one or two people apprehended… it is not just one face… homosexuals are the first to be portrayed as the villains… we now have to add a teacher form a list of gay police, beautician and priests… get real… parent’s often beat their children in our culture… it wont stop at one face plastered on screens and prints… what about promoting abroad to foreigners to prey on young people… wealthy Filipinos and people in positions paying for that ever youthful experience… people are shocked but they allow their children out to fall victims everyday for crimes happening on the streets… from gang and fraternity rumbles, peer misdemeanors, to drugs, gambling, to prostitution, to corruption, to violence, and abuse of alcohol… isn’t it that we are the ones preying and accountable for them… never knowing that being dismissive is giving them the consent from adults…our consent to do these things … i passed these group of kids living on the streets… there were about fifteen of them begging for breakfast… it was payday… an older boy was going around giving out plastics to anyone who would take them … most took these handouts… rugby…. probably to stave of the hunger.. or to have them manageable… to have them stay when they beg and not loiter and play to another neighborhood… i feel guilty that i have my salary in my pocket to pay my rent but not the will to give it out freely…. they stare out to early morn passerby… the government is not the solution … we are… our neighborhood is… we caused these abuse…. the place was just after a mall across a condominium for the elite at Mango Street … it might be bearable if it was just one place but we see it around us in every neighborhood that we neglect … the cats always prowl at night to feed and to mate… they don’t leave their kittens on the streets… people do literally in boxes… perhaps if they would wail like a kitten we would stop and think more of our responsibilities to the young… but they would not … they are trained early on not to cry… because it causes too much attention… if you pass them by bigger billboards of pleasant faces you forget the ones that are not…

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

Blogging Days
October 19, 2008, 10:14 pm
***10 20 2008

A lot of things happened the past few months. I was not able to write much but had a lot of ideas to write down… Made new friends and acquaintances… the boarding house proves to be convenient and economical for me… I don’t have to think of rent or adding furniture or gadgets… I would have tried to improve on a bigger apartment and spending a lot to make it more a house… but in the end i would have just wasted money because i would be leaving for abroad and traveling…

Everything is happening for me and my peers… A different breed of Filipino artists is emerging … the well-rounded Filipino artists… We are aware of each’ works and works of fellows abroad… We know that we are equals when we work and do art…

I just got back from my first excursion alone to another island in the Visayas… Am planning to do this regularly now… I have set up leaves at my work so i can go visit new places for a day or two… I enjoyed my stay at dumaguete with fellow artist kristoffer ardena. I stayed at south seas hotel and found the time spent there quite nice… they have a great bar and resto at night and the ambiance is great.. the space was sprawling … the beach was great at night… it was very impressionable with the sound of surf beating at the rocks… it was a very private space… i hope ritchie and his architect father would open the place for artist residency…it would be a great place to invite people and artists to the events…

Dumaguete as a city is impressive… It is at the forefront of visayan affluent tradition… With its expansive land mass the negros island is a vast place explore… I want to take time to visit neighboring cities and enjoy the festivities… I spent a day viewing preparations for the Buglasan festival… It was an enjoyable experience and a great image of discovering a new place… The city is pleasantly urban… I strolled at the bayside and watched the sunset… It reminds me of Manila bay … The kept the bay accessible and open to eating places… The malls and shops had interesting collections… I tried the merienda delicacies of the city… hot chocolate on sweet rice pudding… The people are very friendly and looks healthy… Compared to Cebu City I liked the average person walking the streets here… A sleeping town still… I want it the same way as Tagbilaran City… Traveling the route is impressive… I wanted to live right on the road.. Imagine the whole stretch of roadside with accessible pristine white sand…
Cebu is a great place still… I am happy that i took time to enjoy the place…I am staying put for some time… I want to make my major works in this city… I didn’t rush to visit everything at once… I wanted solitude more and time to think great thoughts ….hahahaha…and grander ideas… bwhahaha…
I visited siliman university for the first time… Being a frustrated applicant workshop writer at the university always brings that challenge to me that i should do better and write more… The program offered me four times an invitation to join but would not offer me a full scholarship… hahahaha … now that i think of it it was not a complete rejection… but to an impressionable youth at 14 that depressed me every summer when i think of being not good enough… angst at so early an age… i just want to escape to a new place and prove my worth… that about the sum of it…

08 15 2008

… Here is another day. A start of another chapter… I just uploaded pictures on some of my social sites. I am smug about being part of the recent anniversary… I am going around much of Cebu now. I walk and walk a thousand steps. I have that habit of thinking and walking in that order… It saves on gas and money. I am saving some nowadays… I will be going home by end of the year for a visit or on february for my sister’s wedding… People are getting married nowadays… I just noticed… Hahahahaah… I am happy for everyone… I am getting there though …to the part of being older everyday…. sign off…

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

Earning my Php in the Philippines
August 18, 2008, 8:12 pm

I’ve started to think seriously on how one could earn your millions before you end up in retirement pension… Considering most have income asides from the permanent job that they have stayed for sometime… Over qualified and underpaid positions that one would not think about vacating. It is hard work applying for another same position and we do get older. There are lower salaries always offered to newer graduates with no experience even if they are college graduates… That is the power of discrimination in the Philippines.
If I stayed in my current job for the next six months then I would have the tenure and regularization benefits… I would have my health benefits by that time and apply for my dependents in a year as a single… I will have my free dental and if I have a perfect SAF then I could keep this income indefinitely. Performance comes second only to availability and flexibility in my job requirements. A word of caution to new applicants… Less than 6 months experience doesn’t hold water for good salary offers. Increase would be the time of the year you are hired so job fairs are tricky… It could go beyond two years before you realize that you haven’t been offered a basic increase. Incentives are good but basic increase affect your overtime, benefit upgrades and extra holiday pay…
With so many expenses I would be lucky to save money for contingencies but that is hardly the case as everyone gets older and we do expect better lifestyles. One would not choose to wallow in stringent measures if one could help oneself. We all dream of bettering ourselves… I wouldn’t want to always ride jitneys in my 30’s. I could hardly see myself hanging out off an overcrowded jitney at peak hours because I am saving or scrimping for a better set of clothes to wear to work.
So back to the millions or billions to dream bigger… If I end up earning an annual gross of Php 260,000 in my earnings right now in my current job I would saved 20 percent of that give or take. That would be of course outside from loans and credit card expenses. That is to say, without major festivities, birthdays, calamities, deaths or accidents in the immediate family. Pathetic! Right ? This is a realistic summation of the times so let me continue. It would take me twenty years to save that first million and I would be in retirement by that time. Save for winning the lotto three consecutive times in a row , I don’t think that would be realistic or feasible… I would say that in twenty years a million would just be a hundred thousand Php and that would not be much savings. I would bet that would just be enough to cover a vacation trip to the local beach area for a few days…

I wouldn’t want to scrimp on living leisurely at my age now… Bad for health…Hahahaahaha…. I am 36 years old and I would expect my job to pay for my daily expenses, short term wants and finance medium wants and keep some for my dependents (parents) or immediate relatives. I would expect my earnings to keep and offer me better options as the years pass… I would not be maintaining my job if it does not offer me that basic necessity and/ or well not keep me for very long.

I do have in mind setting up a business or two. I do want the choice to travel if I wanted to. Hong Kong and Singapore would be normal destinations. Visiting relatives abroad is current too if I am lucky to get a visa. I want to build and invest in my own home. If my current salary would not allow this then I would not be happy. I would be looking for a better offer soon. I am in fact asking around now… I just passed an interview with one job offer and that is buoying my spirits. No offer for car incentive though…I haven’t lost any interview offer at all. I am canvassing now what Cebu City could offer me in comparison with my salary (Manila based). It is sad but I have to look harder but I am not losing hope now that I have more years of experience. It does not match or improve on it so far.

In Manila with my current connections I earned 2x that what I earn here with another job at workshop teaching, facilitating and some tutorials. I have been teaching for more than ten years though. I am at my peak in that position. Still not contented though with this so I opted for an account transfer to Cebu. I am hoping that my tutorials would be started here too soon. The income projection is exclusive of what I earn abroad for my sold works and commission as an artist, of course. That is a capital that I have for long term. Give or take in ten years time my works would be competitive with international artists. I have more years now of experience than I had back then. Like in any endeavor, I am expecting it to pay off, too… Security is in plurality and reinvention. Now, I want an automatic tenure increase for any job I take… Pride would work with me and consistency. It need not be offered nor announced and/or deliberated. Any development is given.

Going back to the savings… Another plan would be is if I invest in a condo unit or property at this current year at what the company is paying me… I would be putting off moving for at least three years to stabilize my expenditures… That means I wouldn’t be doing much just paying of the deposit and keeping up my monthlies up to date… But in a year or two my earnings would have increased by 100 percent or more if I sell the unit/property by current market then. I would then mortgage it to buy another less developed one or two and my money would be rolling. In 10 years time I might be well off. If there are no untoward contingencies I might just end up with a property or two that I wanted and some savings… Still, I would be keeping my current job for another five years or more and end up with a loyalty watch, a plaque of appreciation, numerous client keychains or T-shirts for my efforts. I might be able to auction these memorabilia and actually earn some bucks on Ebay.

I might still venture on a business half heartedly now and might pull off a coup de etat and actually survive the economics, sell and profit before my retirement pension of a paltry 3 Thousand Php a month (at the going rate now with my pension at SSS). I would keep a gallery and a nice retirement home beside a beach property. But that is far off from what I could potentially do with my artworks…and exhibiting them… Yes, I would have a short term plan, medium plan and a long term plan but that isn’t at all exciting. In my retirement, I would probably sell modestly with my collections of works and regularly exhibit by then for major shows…

I might actually be teaching by then at college as a nearsighted old fart that keeps books at the trunk of his registered Ferrari 2020…sigh… That is if I settled down and postponed half of what I want to actually do… which would be to just bum around for the next ten years, travel, exhibit and die a starving artist without a pension or health care. The latter I could avoid as I have the minimum requirement employed now… Such romanticism exudes some truth. Cynicism abounds in my blood and prophesy is an unquestioned gift. Pathetic and unexciting but true and proven on numerous events in life. I keep ready and on my toes with challenges. There are alot of examples here in the neighborhood I’ve put myself in if I fail. Several senior citizens sleeping on the pavement with just cartons and wet blankets around the city. Perhaps due to the calamities that struck the provinces or the exodus the masses - thinking that it’s better to beg on the streets or charge it to the nearest church. Drugs is on the streets. I see more adults rather than children we see in Manila often. Kind of surreal. Si Manang at si Manong nagrurugby. Joining the rallies also had relocated the poverty to the city steps.
Automatic debiting on my payroll is another alternative.. Out of sight is out of mind… They call this savings the automatic millionare wherein you have debiting every payroll to a time deposit account… Probably postdated checks on checking account linked to a payroll account financing… Well… Lets say that this is the most feasible savings startegy for me if I don’t get my hands in the time deposit for five to ten years though…

I am just hoping that I could be lawfully earning from different occupations that befit my qualifications rather than stay and settle in just one. I want another occupation or two complementing with minimum of four hours and two days a week - contractual jobs with retaining/tenure benefits given.

Much like having more than 4 different jobs with the benefits of tenure. Of course I have my professional job as an artist, but that is not given for fellows out there. This alternative lifestyle is taking its toll. I’m not sorry to lose a home but to gain an 800 sq m studio property I might settle down… Now, I would be extolling changes on the streets soon if this does not get addressed. I seek a legal way- a simple proposal. A letter to the concerned and the might be.
We need not be contractually tied down by restrictions of any employer. Revise the employment contracts with understanding that there is no competition that stipulates working for just one employer. With this alternative, we might just address the unemployment situation on the longer term. The current employers already have us for the 9 hour basic contracts. Why do they have to mess up with what we do with the other 15 hours of the day? Sleep is just a state of mind. Hard on the body but good for addressing the financial issues. Man created the routine - truthfully, the outsourcing demand did. Coffee has been a miraculous invention at that. We can always improve or fit the situation on case to case basis.
I want to apply for numerous short hour jobs and be accepted with my current choices. It should be health card, SSS and Pag-ibig complemented… I don’t see myself doing anything else on my retirement except to work less for more… I won’t completely stop… I’ll be just managing another company. I don’t want to stay conditioned to maintain just one job be it satisfying or not. Hell! There are 24 hours a day. If they could not afford to give the right salary and benefits then allow us employees to also work with other employers that would give us contractual work for 6 hours or less on another part of our day. Is there no right/freedom in our free hours? The government should earn from these income taxes right? They would recognize regularization on minimized working hours. Alternative shifts that address the current demands and metrics that are set with working with this generation demand. Minimum wage earners exempted should be those only for the regular shifts.
With this committed in writing. There is hope that I might just perhaps earn my millions before I die too old to enjoy my hard earned savings. It should be easy. Right?

08 19 2008 Dirty Old Man

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

Compilations of Old Blogs Part 3

2011-09-20T04:32:00.002-07:00

Of Making Your Marks
December 4, 2002

When one travels a road not taken before one could fairly approximate the sense of feet scouring ground. We usually walk to get to a point of destination and if one happens to have the time and the effort to spend it could be quite enjoyable but a pain still.
On this first week of December, 2002, I happen to find myself on foot to Green Papaya Art Projects to see the exhibit of large paintings and 50 drawings of Louie Cordero, titled ‘Torts and Damages.’ A frequent visitor before, I had now seldom the opportunity to come this far way, yet, I was curious how would one of the most dynamic young artists of SBW to date, would present his latest one man show.
I should have guessed that Roberto Chabet would have a hand in this former UP student exhibit albeit a small one. I was fascinated how he would design the works with the numerous crannies that the space have. I wouldn’t push past the inconvenience and was surprised that Chabet had a hard time. Talk about challenge. Cordero’s new body of works isn’t the typical conceptual works as they are more illustrative, Pop and kitsch. The two sets were to work separately at another venue but it had to make do with a singular by chance space of Green Papaya. On a scale, the set up was good without the flair.
On Cordero’s works, one finds his small sketches in comparison between editorial drawings of contemporary magazines. I like them for what they are. They were reminiscent of his occupation yet his bigger canvasses exudes the cleverness and guile of an artist’s sic mind. But instead of working on an almost dramatic landscape as his earlier works like ‘Attack of the Killer Pancit Canton!!!’ he simplifies his palette for a more contrived set in choosing singular protagonists for his landscaped creations. Ahhh! To be this radical at a young age makes you want to search for your favorite Dr. Seuss book and remember childhood pranks in earlier years. The painting ‘Century to Build and Seconds to Fall’ done in oil and enamel is quite admirable as you could see a point for good research before doing a painting.
The different characters never quite blended together, though, as they tended to be illogical with each other. Individually pieces could stand alone but together, ‘Torts and Damages’ hints more about the distractions and mundane tediousness of living a life than it should offer as an intended escape. Overall, it was not just another Weng-weng story left in the dust as the novelty wears off.

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

The Space Called Tambayang Makiling
March 28, 2003

I was at Tambayang Makiling located at Sct. Santiago cor. Roces Sts., Quezon City for its inaugural show last March 1, 2003. A new venue for the plural art disciplines with not quite a definite vision but of a definite space and artists. One wonders of the more than five hundred graduates of Makiling Highschool since the early eighties. We would find some of them at this new aptly named venue. The earlier student works of alumnus under former Makiling teachers, Bob Feleo and Benjie Cabangis, were exhibited in one striking piece a bit maudlin. The collaborative effort was on the first floor left wall and a directed video of alumni, Jon Red and Raymond Red, was being shown on an impromptu video set up. Future film making shows and viewing are also in the offing and is more stable as some members are internationally renowned. The Anino group also performed with their more experimental work that was rudely interrupted by inattentive older audiences. There seems to be a bit of tensed camaraderie with both older and younger groups. The groups seem to be a diversified lot and were quite impressively talented in their own respective contemporary fields. The space is a two-storey structure with an ample-sized patio for outdoor sculpture. A viewing window was maintained and at the opening were displaying the typical handmade masks of Makiling. From the entrance there are wide walls on both sides leading to a closed off kitchen. Enough space for a major exhibit for visual artists or a suitable performance venue for dancers. Stairs led up to a portioned off room for a smaller exhibiting space intended for drawings. Here were some smaller works of other Makiling’s painters and visual artists led by Don Salubayba and Ian Victoriano. Another wider room opens on the second floor for another major exhibit space. The bigger works of artists Alwin Reamillo, Pablo Biglang-awa, Dindo Llana, Jon Red et al were hung side by side with an accommodating ceiling for these different format (6′ x 4′ the biggest by painter Juanito Torres). A table and chairs were on the far side for consultations and other formal discussions.According to Pablo Biglang-awa who with Ian Victoriano and Jon Red lead albeit informally the visual arts committee of Tambayan Makiling, the space was created for most functions of the members and immediate family. Being mostly painters themselves they made more practical plans for the walls and over-all structure of the place. The ambiance was mostly created through years of refining and improving the place before its inaugural opening. Some future improvements were in the making like the signage structure, lighting and a more definite patio. Like Pablo, Jon Red and Ian Victoriano are planning on solo shows in more prominent spaces and galleries. These plans, they say would complement for a stronger practice in their respective art careers. The TM would serve at times as studio and residencies for practicing artists. Most of the members are in their mid-thirties and early forties and are quite settled in family and financial matters . The thrust for visual and painting shows and also directing were more for personal satisfaction and pursuit. The venue keeps most of the alumni in touch as it also serves as a common financial venture.For the younger alumni, the place offers more opportunities to hold exhibits. Hopefully it would be an equally viable place for all artist groups or individuals be they older or younger or an alumnus or not.It was quite early to predict on a successful outcome and since it was presumed a loosely and workable structure it offers a novel approach albeit an unpredictable one. After a few years and a number of exhibitions, Tambayan Makiling had to close down and trim down on its activities. Like artists run spaces (ARS) before them, the gallery has exhausted its possibilities and its audiences found other new venues to follow. It prove to be timely for its few artists as it paved the way for emerging artists to empower themselves and be independent for a few years before embarking their separate ways. It lost heart and steam as its members and pioneers made other priorities available within the extended peripheral of artmaking.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
#35-D P. Oliveros St., Barranca Ibaba,
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
(63) 9053027965 (63)9217452144
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com

****

Regurgitating Daisies
June 29, 2009, 9:06 am
****06 22 2009

Who says painters can’t write? I always liked writing. I wanted to mature being able to write my thoughts. I wanted to do anything I want to accomplish and be whatever I want to be. I always hoped to improve and commit ideas on paper as I wanted to commit images on canvas. I wanted to paint and I wanted to write in that order.
I believe painters should be able to compile thoughts and concepts through images and writing. We have resources early on to be able to write. It was just a matter of honing and immersing yourself. Learning life’s experiences.
I am amazed that there are a lot of young people writing nowadays. There are venues for them to be read and hope it would cultivate a better generation. Refining one’s skills and committing one’s thoughts are lifelong progression. I wanted it to be a long journey that I could enjoy. While I am at it I wanted to read about it too.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
#35-D P. Oliveros St., Barranca Ibaba,
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
(63) 9053027965 (63)9217452144
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

Another Exhibit at the Mall
May 28, 2009, 10:11 pm
***05 28 2009

There has been much lately on the news and keeping abreast about current events could be distracting. The A(H1N1) epidemic and the drug video sex scandal have taken so much attention that Filipinos have more in common now to talk about. This is the new drug of the masses - news and scandals. Perhaps we now have so much to talk about that we would have no time to act on these events happening around us. Going back to a more personal event. I now have a diary just to write down all the exhibits and events that I might be interested in going to.

Going to Megamall to attend another exhibit is tiring, lately. I almost didn’t go. Lethargy is in the air. Sigh. There was a good crowd and I am sure with the show being in a mall it would generate a good market audience. I would rather think that the artist Oscar Villamiel had nobler visions with these set pieces on his very first solo exhibit. Who would want muck on their walls? I like it that the artist took the time to prepare exhibition notes and to connect the works with his concept. I wonder though how long his pieces would be up since some are quite energetic to a point… I remember an exhibit caused quite an uproar when one nude painting got censored. Well, I am sure the artist have thought about the stricter measures in mall exhibitions. The only concern I have are the gaffs and hooks accessible to the unattended smaller mall viewers. They are very sharp and could cut. They are used in cockfighting and are designed to cling and cut deeply. I would guess this would be the quickest exhibit that I will see if that would happen. I am betting it would be.

I also attended another exhibit at Crucible Gallery. It is a group show amongst former schoolmates. I enjoyed the piece by Lirio Salvador. He uses body conductivity for his piece to create interactive music. Touching the balls of his sculptural robot to create the sounds was an instant hit with the audiences. The other pieces were quite diverse. I am proud that a number of active and good artists today came from this fine arts university. The university is producing very good artists. I was a bit disappointed about the constraits that I observed with the works. There was no continuity and relatedness aside from coming from the same alma mater. The medium and format did not help the exhibit. Having one small piece for each artist was not quite effective for the show. It was difficult to view each one apart from the other. It could be arranged better. It needed more pieces from each artist. I know that the artists have explored different mediums through the years and has shown this in their other works but the small gallery space is limiting to house the number of artists that participated. I am going to be particular with exhibitions again. I am also going to enjoy the show and the company.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
#35-D P. Oliveros St., Barranca Ibaba,
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
(63) 9053027965 (63)9217452144
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com

****

The New Generation
May 17, 2009, 8:30 pm
***05 18 2009

It’s another Monday. I just visited a few more exhibitions and talked with the artists there. I have been busy uploading pictures that I have neglected to write some more. I wanted especially to write down ideas these coming days while waiting for developments from my interviews. I would plan my years to come through these results and am eager to start. I will be making proposals for group exhibitions too and have been committing ideas to work on. I know I will have to commit some works this year.

It is good that a lot of changes and developments have happened around us. A lot of structures created are now potentials for exhibiting spaces and better awareness to hone our aesthetics. I could not imagine how we survived our time when we lacked these spaces. Perhaps we were just doing the ministrations while waiting for these spaces to come about. Laying the groundwork and changing the layout. Everything seems to be falling in to place. It is up to the individual artist to come up with his own pieces that he could exhibit and support the new galleries. For the past decade, new galleries have only lasted a year before going kaput and closing down. History might repeat itself or it might not this time.

I could not ignore though that choices have been made by my fellow artists and we are reaping these choices as i write this article. Some have sown good ones, some still waiting for tangible results but a lot too have erred. Small errors are likely to be blown up and big ones might just be let go. Who knows too of the fickleness of the Filipino audiences? I am amazed that I see now a lot of erstwhile uncooperative artists now on a complete turnaround. Perhaps a new leaf has been turned. Maybe we should just be supportive too as this whole system supports us. Family of artists has grown stronger. I see that young ones now are going to college and former young ones have families. These would change the development of their artworks. I am proud that in this era artists are stronger to change and constantly reinvent themselves. We grow stronger as we evolve. Those that do not would always lag behind and would fail their artmaking eventually. I could not ignore though that new blood have infused the Philippine Art scene. They would be the generation to nurture and encourage. We would see more of them in the coming exhibitions and lets hope that they would be more responsible and lead their peers. They seem to be active with interacting with fellow artists and joining group shows. I just am aware too that there are a lot of distractions and vices that they would be prone too. I hope they could survive these immersion for the better.

Let us hope the new generation would lead a new path to follow. With the recession and the influx of young artists we could definitely see a better Philippine Art. If these new generation would be at the helm of changes and institutions then we could see the ideas and concepts for a better playing field. It still amazes me to see the good spaces we have now to choose from. Still I have my inclinations for independence and empowerment of the young artists. But we do have to commit at one time or another. We would always be better if we look towards the future guided by the past examples. History does repeat itself sometimes as I cringed to see them repeated by my fellow artists. I would always stress the importance of family to change. As individuals we see daily challenges to overcome and our families have been by our side and if not they have always been on our minds. They prove to be our downfall if we neglect them. They prove to be our challenges if we go alongside them. Perhaps because it is normal to be encouraged to be better and to succeed that most would seem to be detractors. If one could only see a balance to improve on then we all would be better persons and eventually better artists.

I hate vices, drugs and neglect of our health. I could not only overemphasize to avoid and keep your sanity in these times. There are options. They may not be enough for all at one time but they would open up eventually for each. It is our hunger that keeps us active but it also causes us to gamble wrongly. Lets hope that this would not be true for the next generation as I see it sometimes happening to mine. Neglect of family and self I abhor and neglect of dependent children I condemn.
I lived on teaching when I was in college and have been in a lot of work since then. I am not ashamed to say I have stumbled a lot of times. I know I have stood up. I have challenged my peers as we grew up. In these challenges I matured. As I grow older I would again make my choices to prepare where I would go from there. It seems scary but we have always been bothered by challenges. It is placing ourselves between permanency and changes that seem so unsure. Well that is the challenge of life! We only move forward to accept it or move to a different path to go parallel with it. We can never go back. Let us also hope that the path laid before us by our predecessors we would not neglect and lay to waste as we pursue our own dreams and build our own paths. Let these directions be roads and paths that future generations could rest upon while building their alleyways and foundation.

If on times we fail the younger generation, let this be an instance we admit our own failures as persons and as Filipino artists.

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

Some Great Spaces
May 10, 2009, 12:26 am
****05 10 2009

Had a blast with the opening at Finale last May 9. They had three good exhibitions on view and I appreciate the time and effort that the artists gave … The artists Wire Tuazon, Keiye Miranda and Lena Cobangbang bring a new level of appreciation to contemporary art.. The pieces all worked well for the three solo shows in Finale. It was a very good space to work in and they had taken advantage of it to the hilt…
Warehouses would be more practical for a lot of artists and galleries as they offer the best space to work with, store large pieces for consignment and/or exhibit shows. I had been waiting for the structures for years to be available and used efficiently for these purposes as it gives a better chance for better shows. It is also economical in the long run. I admire the tenacity of galleries and artists to change with the times… Kudos! There is more to expect with the years to come. I can’t wait for the newer exhibits and concepts. The auctions had opened a venue and I am happy for that. Filipinos are aware of good spaces to exhibit in the Philippines and look for better artists to see. This is so challenging for the times. We would all benefit with the influx of artists who had exhibited abroad, the demand for better exhibits and the good spaces being maintained here in the Philippines. It would not take long for international organizations to be made aware of these robust contemporary developments. These are very good opportunities for all.

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

A Good Exhibit and A Great Lady!
May 6, 2009, 1:12 am
****05 05-06 2009

I went around to some art spaces again and talked with some more people…
“Babylon Zoo” exhibit at the blanc gallery in Makati is a two man group painting show. CJ Tañedo and Tyago Almario were the artists. I had a hard time reconciling were I saw similar images of skulls and morphing human with animal features but the more current and familiar one would be Neil Gaiman. Charlie Co and Kitty Taniguchi in the Philippine context also come to mind. I observed that flashbacks of these strong images tend to remind us of the funny man or the elephant man of the times… Emphasizing freakyness and absurdities have been with a few Filipino painters. Darkening auras and atmospheric dramas subtly reconfirms the skill. Well, we can’t blame them. We have the penchant for Ang Pulubi, Dogeaters, Zuma or Dyesebel in that order in our culture. I think we could add some more to the list though for a few more years. It rained hard that night but I had company and didn’t waste anymore time.
“the Metamorphosis show” by Lindslee had an opening at Galeria Duemila compound in Pasay City last night May 5. It was a palette of colors and shapes meant to be contrasting and disturbing that turned out to be aesthetically sound and appealing. The large pieces and works around the space is a pleasure to see when you have a unique spacious gallery. I had room to breathe in each piece and ponder on the play of light and colors on neon and neutral tones that the artist wished to play around. Kudos! I hope a lot of people would take the time to visit the space and the exhibit. The sculptural structures, textures and paints would likely end up with another designer’s palette plate much to the artist chagrin.

I had a long talk with the gallery owner reminiscing events through the years. There were several organizations and personalities in the arts that we had in common. These talks though I would have to keep off the writings. Ha ha ha ha. But some were downright eye opening and jaw dropping. I always found her former gallery in Megamall to showcase good and great exhibitions with several artists not really mainstreamed. The discovery of the compound a few years back reinforces the belief of greater trust to support the arts that I felt the owner believes in. Documentation for artists and galleries I fervently believe in. I had been bullheaded with fellow artists about collating pictures, exhibit notes, clippings and reviews through the years. Having heard and learnt Silvana boasting to have a rather extensive one I could really appreciate. Finding the time to see the quality shows Galeria Duemila offers is always a pleasure for me. Talking with Silvana is an added bonus last night. It was always a great experience. A very smart, outspoken and determined lady.
I still have to see some of the pieces exhibited at the Mag:net Space in Makati for the group show–that is not having an opening today — but I did get to talk with one or two of the artists before and saw their works off hand. I did get to browse the social network for some of the pictures and documentations. Good space and a sound look to the eyes. Small pieces with the correct arrangement and lighting is always cute, pleasing, charming and a novelty. I would always want that in a pet in a pet store.

I would have to run off again and see the Avellana compound, Silverlens, Finale and Manila Contemporary before the week ends … All of them seems to be determined to have openings today. Tsk tsk tsk… Hopefully, I could see them all. Got to go and prepare…

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

The Writing After Pacquiao vs Hatton Fight!
May 4, 2009, 4:35 am
****05 04 2009

It is hard to write about anything else today… With clear iconic images still very fresh to mind. Who would want to write about anything else… But the days have been eventful and so many things are happening. It is history in the making. I just want to write about my thoughts during this eventual times.
I visited Project Space Pilipinas last May 2 and found a good crowd. We had a long discussion and it was great fun just listening too. The space offers artists a studio and a venue for works. Peng Zamora’s residency just ended and his large works were up. I found them good and contemporary. The space brought me a glimpse of finding your center. The exhibit hinted on the premise. PSP hopefully would encourage artists to make better works and better discussions. Let us support a good thing.
It was rude awakening that some of the people you also knew have fallen under different situations. Some have not been successful and fallen to sticky situations. Some are meant to be outright criminal. Some cycles are meant to be repeated in history. Lesson would need to be relearned.

People would always point fingers to blame and yet still continue to do the worst. Some have soared and flourished. Some found just contentment in family and domestication. Some truly found their nemesis . Some just created their Achilles heal. Yet the times have empowered a lot specially those that charged ahead. In the few years we already see the different perspectives and hopefully better goals.

I have hope for everyone to make changes for the Philippine contemporary arts. We do have to confront our ghosts and have closure. I made mine and I would continually reap what I have sown. We make our own choices in the end and with it what we would live upon when we grow older. Our artmaking has flourished or died down because of our choices and principles. It is up to everyone to achieve what makes them complete. Let us just trim down on excesses and focus more a day at a time. Visual artists do need to survive. It does not only mean financial but on other planes of encouragement. We are blest with a passion to create something unique but cursed with the hunger to fame.

Yesterday my grandmother flew from Ilo-ilo and we had to fetch her from Naia Terminal 3 during the big Manny Pacquiao fight. Like dutiful grandsons we went to the airport and fetched her and waited… With technology today we could watch and get news about the ongoing fight even before we left home and the regular cable broadcast. It was so convenient and really anticlimatic. It was up on youtube after a few minutes of the actual fight. We knew the results by phone and text messages.
Who would think that even with the prominence of the H1N1 epidemic an icon could fill up a stadium in an almost quarantined state. The same scare that brought hundreds of pigs to extinction in Egypt is the same threat that will bring many countries to their knees if not handled properly… This is what makes legends. It was a sorry plight for the losing individual. That is life. Very brief events could change you dramatically.
I also found a warehouse that sells to be repacked biscuits at discounted prices… With so many kids around we hurriedly bought a sackful. One should be thrifty nowadays thinking about what Manny Pacquiao earned after the fight.

It was also an eventful day yesterday as my computer crashed. I was able to set it up again quickly. I was worrying that I had to reformat it. Something about downloading updates and being prompted for WG software.. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. I settled it by nixing this and nixing that… Probably a virus. It was A ok after a few minutes.
Pinoys were brought together with this latest Manny Pacquiao classic fight addition. I am sure the survey would again be good for a few personalities. No one would think about anything bad for a few days as everyone would be euphoric.
I visited a new gallery today to see a fellow Asian Cultural Council grantee Mideo Cruz. It is a space that is promising to watch. Lunduyan Gallery has the similar window gallery setting as Surrounded By Water Angono. Having Mideo exhibit and talk there is something of a feat. I enjoyed immensely my stay and would be watching for new shows and different artists. I liked sharing some stories of my stay in New York in 2003. We spent the time drinking tuba and disecting anecdotes of the pioneers of “Ang Tunay na Lalaki” slogan. So many things to do and so many people to meet. This is the life that I continue to live on.

Now back to reality. Am going to an opening at Blanc makati tonite! Got to go.

*** visit me also at
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

Personal Entry 2004

2011-09-20T04:32:00.001-07:00

Personal Entry
June 29, 2009, 9:08 am
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Solo Exhibitions

2005 Remembering Pipay !: Solo Show of Prints
The Bliss Café Military Cut-off RoadBaguio City, Philippines
2004 Colleprints: Solo Show of Prints
The Lisa H. Mackie Studios
Chelsea New York City, USA
2003 Pasintabi: Solo Show of Prints
The Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
Lopez Village, Sucat, Parañaque City
2000 Crossover: Memoirs of Pipay and Ang Huling Hari

Solo Show of Prints

The Hiraya Gallery
U.N. Ave., Manila PhilippinesOpen Studios
2005 Sloper Drawings II
The Chashama Studios
40 Worth Building Tribeca New York City, USA
2004 Sloper Drawings
The International Studio and Curatorial Program
Hell’s Kitchen New York City, USA

SOME COORDINATED, ASSISTED, CURATED
& CO-CURATED EXHIBITS by Amiel Gerald Roldan

2006 ‘Delicateesen’ by Kristoffer Ardena
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Coordinated the Exhibit with Erik Sausa
2005 ‘Exist 2 Exist’ by Eric Guazon et al.
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, PhilippinesCoordinator
2005 ‘Sorting Shapes’ by Pam Yan Santos
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘Cover Up’ by Arden Tuzon Mopera
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘Directions’ by Irma Lacorte
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘Ani: Rice Elements’ by Noell El Farol, Ruel Caasi & Mervy Pueblo
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Co-organized the exhibit with artists
2005 ‘Sidescapes’ by Korean Artist Hong Soon Myung
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘Contempong Pinas’ by Kristoffer Ardena, Jamel Obnamia et al.
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘Amanuesis’ by Paul Eric Roca
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘White Lies’ by Jeho Bitancor
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘Santong Pinagpasasaan’ by Mideo Cruz & Roberto Ofanda Umil
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘Siklo’ by Aaron Bautista, Carlos Francisco III & Jon Santos
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘Traveling’ by Jonathan Castro
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘Memoirs of Mirages’ by Lester Amacio, Norman Posecion et al.
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2005 ‘Bagong Panahon’ by Raoul Rodriguez, Rachel de Loyola et al.
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
2004 ‘New Works’ by Ian Victoriano
Kulay Diwa Art Galleries : A Contemporary Art Space
Sucat, Paranaque City, Philippines
Curator of Kulay Diwa Art Galleries
1999 ‘Today Show’
The Cultural Center of the Philippines, Manila, Philippines
Co-organized the show with SBW Group
1999 ‘Banderitas’ by Mideo Cruz, Ugat Lahi, et al
The Jorge B. Vargas Museum, Quezon City, Philippines
Assistant curator of Jorge B. Vargas Museum
1999 ‘Perfect Conditions’ Jason Oliveria
The Surrounded By Water, Manila East Road,
Angoño Rizal, Philippines
Coordinator with Wire Tuazon
1998 ‘xPrints: A Collaboration Between
Young Australian and Filipino Printmakers’
The Jorge B. Vargas Museum, Quezon City, Philippines
Co-organized the Exhibit
1998 ‘Kalakbay Kultura sa Kalayaan : Bohol Chapter,’
The Bohol Museum, Carlos P. Garcia St.
Tagbilaran Bohol, Philippines
Assisted Curator Bobi Valenzuela
1998 ‘Kalakbay Kultura sa Kalayaan : Cebu Chapter ‘
William Hall Super Ferry 12
Assisted Curator Bobi Valenzuela
1998 ‘No Preservatives Added’
The Surrounded By Water Gallery, Manila East Road Hi-way,
Angono Rizal, Philippines
Co-organized the Exhibit with SBW Group
1998 ‘Crossroads: Terminal Baggage’
The Australia Centre, Ground Level, Salustiana Ty
Tower 104 Paseo de Roxas cor. Perea St.
Legaspi Village, Makati City, Philippines
Co-organized the Exhibit
1997 ‘Four Expressions : Memoirs of Pipay’
Hiraya Gallery, 530 United Nations Avenue
Intramuros Manila, Philippines
Co-organized the Exhibit
1997 ‘Displaced’ by Sri Lankan artist Kinsley Gunatillake, Gallery B
The Jorge B.Vargas Museum, Diliman , Quezon City, Philippines
Assistant Curator of Jorge B. Vargas Museum
1997 ‘Bencab’s 1973 Series of Drawings’ Library Gallery
Ateneo de Manila University, Quezon City, Philippines
Assisted Curator Dr. Brenda Fajardo of Jorge B. Vargas Museum
1997 ‘Ang de Latang Pinoy (Yes, the Filipino Can!)’,
Baguio Arts Festival , Baguio City
Assisted Hiraya Gallery set up
1997 ‘Mula Filibustero Hanggang Kay Marimar’,
SSC Amrhein Gallery, Taft Manila. Philippines
1997 ‘Ang de Latang Pinoy (Yes, the Filipino Can!),
NCCA, Intramuros, Manila
Assisted Hiraya Gallery set up

*******

A Long Stay in New York City
June 29, 2009, 9:07 am
*****06 14 2005

I am writing this report as a requirement for the fellowship grant I received from the Starr Foundation through the Asian Cultural Council, New York. The grant included a six month program with the International Studio and Curatorial Program in New York, a weeklong artist stay with the Lafayette Experimental Print Program and collaboration with printmaker Curlee Holton and other artists in Pennsylvania, artist interaction with numerous contemporary asian and European artists, immersion with current new york city art exhibitions, a week long trip to Chicago Institute of Contemporary Art, the Chicago Museum of Modern Art and other contemporary landmarks in Chicago, an apprenticeship with printmaker Lisa H. Mackie that culminated in solo exhibition at Lisa H. Mackie Studios, collaborative group exhibitions and a published dvd.

September 2003
During my preparations to stay in the states, the ACC people have been very helpful and offered me relevant and enough information to give me a very comfortable trip.This was to be my first stay abroad.I had my orientation with the city through the generous help of Margaret Cogswell who brought me to different functions and events during these first few months. She knew a lot of the artists and events that I would be much interested and more. She provided numerous tips and excursions that I really enjoyed. I was able to visit numerous landmarks and typical new york sites. I was able to meet artists like Curlee Holton, Lisa Mackie et al and to visit their private studios.

October 2003
I was able to apply to some printmaking institutions, compare their standards and visit them. I was able to compare more printing facilities and spaces that I would need in the future. I was able to meet different artist at this time, opened other future opportunities for me as I further interacted with fellow multi-disciplined artists with the Asian Cultural Council and the International Studio and Curatorial Program. The month of November is one of the busiest in the art community. It offered me the perspective to see the contrasts and appreciate the nuances.

December 2003
I was able to launch successfully my open studios with the International studio and Curatorial Program. This two-day event wherein I prepared my three-month-long production for formal viewing and opened it to the New York audiences alongside other artists in the same program is very much inspirational for me. It offered me more than I could say and made up a very distinct perspective of the art community of the city. With 26 fellow artists I had been working with for a few months I was able to gather insights and experiences to present professionally my works.I was able to go to Chicago and visit the different landmarks, museum and galleries there. I was able to join fellow iscp artists on there stay. I was able to compare the artist community in Chicago with the ones I meet in New York City. January 2004Imbibed the city lights…

February 2004
This is the culmination of my stay at the International Studio and Curatorial Program. I have been able to work with my relief prints and create over 40 designs, with my drawings over 60 pieces and over 30 pieces of large paintings. The ISCP people have been immensely supportive and shared theirexpertise and knowledge willingly.

March 2004
Went around the city some more with friends and fellow artists.

April 2004
I was able to meet and work with Lisa Mackie and her artists at the Lisa H. Mackie Studios. Here I worked with her with my relief prints and my etchings. I was able to learn different techniques and presentations of printmaking during this time. During my ten-day workshop she taught me different technique to prepare my works. I was able to join her on her visits with other galleries and exhibitions. It was a very close and friendly working relations and I hope to be able to work with her more in the future. I was able to do about 30 printworks of different designs during the period I worked with her. I was able to know the different places that I could purchase materials for my printmaking. I was able to culminate my stay in her studio with a solo exhibition ‘ Colle Prints’ wherein I had the regular showing of my works with my fellow artists, friends and the critics that I met during my stay.During this period I started working with the Chashama group of artists wherein I was able to secure a subsidized space and work alongside New Yorker artists and foreign ones. I was also able to stay at the Tribeca District and create new works. Here I was able to meet over 60 artists currently working in the 2 level institution. I was able to work with the Director Janusz Jaworski and his fellows to open again my studio to the public during the Chashama Open Studios.

May 2004
During this time, I was able to join the new ISCP artists and be able to collaborate with them. These are the new 26 artists staying at the International Studio and Curatorial Program and for their stay I played a small part in the preparation.I created new works at the Chashama studios and hone my painting and Drawing. I was able to talk with fellow curators and artists. During the other open studios in different parts of New York I was able to visit as both an artist and curator. I wished that I could also work extensively in this profession as to complement more my learning. I began to get an overview on the contrasts of New York artists and Contemporary Filipino artists. Working there as an artist and learning the curatorial aspect of contemporary New York exhibitions, I gained more.
June 2004
The end of my extended stay in New York has been very hectic as I had decided to leave a lot of the things to do at the last possible moment. I have decided to budget much of my grant to allow me to stay longer and to this ACC has been very supportive. ACC has offered me the Jackson Heights apartment 6F for part of my extended stay and to that I am grateful. I know that I have gone over all of my budget by this time. I received the last portion to tide me at this point. I enjoyed very much my stay there and I am very thankful. I left on June 14, 2005 and had a very nice trip going home to the Philippines.

ACC Grant 2003-2004 Asian Cultural Council Grantees
Questionnaire provided by Patrick Flores

These questions are meant to source themes and narratives to guide the curation of a possible exhibition of Asian Cultural Council grantees . These will focus on two aspects: experience and process. Responding to these questions involves memory work and a creative recollection of the grant and the world it had opened up for the participants.
Experience

What were your initial impressions of the place in which you were settled as a grantee?

New York City is probably one of the well known places to immerse oneself in Contemporary Art. One tends to be a bit overwhelmed at first. I felt it and in response I lessened my expectations and kept myself focused on what i needed to do on a day to day basis. I was able to impress upon myself that it was just a bit crowded City than what I am used to. One discovers that there are other places just as challenging to engage in and then become expectant to finish this experience to continue your journey.

What were the natural environment and the cultural atmosphere like?

I was in New York in early September 2003 until June 14 2004. I felt the different climates changed so fast and that the impressions created were too fleeting and intangible for me to really sink myself in. I felt like a participant in a transitory place with four different seasons as backdrop settings. I was also quite like an outsider completely able to distance oneself effectively and at the next moment immerse oneself in the thick of things.The cultural atmosphere was both distancing and informative. Sometimes it was oppressive and debase. It was very much familiar and at the same time completely alien.

Was there a particular energy that struck you?

The City seethed with tension and yet was very much dynamic and competitive. There was too much expectation and expectancy in danger. Most tend to be trapped in extremes.
Was there a peculiar trait in people or a sensibility that was distinct?
Most are competitive and aggressive. They tend to be brutal for any distinction they could get and yet some artists also tend to be passive, complacent, shallow and naive.That made the place interesting and how did you identify with it? I figured that there would just be a bit more of the things that I am used to and that anything new could be learned and absorb without skipping a beat or learning completely anew.

How did your expectations of the place square with its actuality?

I largely depended on my own choices and as i went about the City and met some of its transient inhabitants i basically just expected a logical and/or sane result to my efforts and interactions. It was met with the barest of expectations and topped simply.

What sort of materials (media, ideas, encounters) did you work on and work through during your stay in the residency?

I was lucky enough to be able to explore, continue and at the same time discover most of the media that i wanted to try and have tried before. I basically recreated, explored, experimented, repatterned and reinvented my media and ideas. I went about in my encounters in a case to case basis. I painted, did installations, shot photographs, drew large work and did printmaking. I started initial collaborating and corroborating with artists, curators and the people i met there regardless of nationality. I made myself efficient in securing whatever i needed and very much independent. I repossessed most of my materials in their original settings.

How did you transform this experience into something tangible like art or a theory?

A ten months stay is much too short for any theory and yet it was satisfying to affirm whatever you have started before. It was very much just a rediscovering of what you knew before and applying it to the same principles in a different time and place. I appropriated and reconstructed.
Process
In the course of your grant, how did you make sense of the said experience and turn this into a process of doing and making art, or forming concepts pertinent to your practice as artist, critic, or cultural worker?
I created an atmosphere that helped me discipline myself and yet allowed me flexibility to create works that expressed my sentiments and reality. A regimen that is anchored in discovery and reevaluations of simple and complex experiences that come to me in day to day relations.

What were the processes involved in doing art and making objects or performances within a different setting?

.recognizance/discovery
.learning
.reevaluation
.loss/destruction
.rediscovery/finding
.reinvention and affirming

How did this relate to your previous ways or techniques of doing art and making objects?

It continued and reinvented the process. it also made it much more satisfying to reaffirm ones efforts and discoveries. It opened up new interpretations and created a bigger audience that consists of professionals and contemporaries. It helped critique my ways and techniques and reaffirmed them. The envisioned exhibition will dwell on both
experience and process in the context of a residency that enables agents of art to address the demands of a new milieu and the obligations of an artful intervention. It will hopefully reflect on a kind of interaction between artistic experience/process and the system of objects generated in cross-border exchanges.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at

www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

www.amielroldan.wordpress.com

www.amielroldan.blogspot.com

www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html

www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan

www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

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please comment and tag if you like my compilations.

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com

amiel.roldan@gmail.com

******

Some Posts That Got Lost
June 29, 2009, 9:06 am

After the Opening
April 27, 2003
I had my second solo relief print exhibition titled ‘Pasintabi’ last March 16, 2003 to April 15, 2003 at the Kulay Art Galleries located at 25 Lopez Avenue Lopez Village, Sucat, Parañaque. I sold quite a few works. I am writing this article to try to put into paper some of my thoughts after all my efforts to present a print show. I am quite happy with the outcome personally and have been enthusiastic for quite some time now to try to come up with a much better body of works. This was also a happy occasion for me. I just received a grant from the Asian Cultural Council for a six months stay in the US.It was a very hectic month of preparations that despite some very surprising twist of events, the show pushed through. I was not able to come up with a better alternative for directly posting the paper works on the concrete wall. I didn’t have the resources then and I always never ask for help. Tsk tsk. tsk. I provided the additional matting and the invitations with hardly big expenses. I am very much enthusiastic with the tarpaulin provided for the show. I also observed that during preparations for these events I was always in a hurry. I wanted it to be better but I always miss the chance. I remember the first exhibit I had at Hiraya so I decided not to have an opening here. I presented 26 black relief prints for my second solo show. All were consistently done and quite interestingly noted by my contemporaries. The hanging provisions were the only questionable part of the show. I had a long sermon about that from then curator Bobi V. But who can remain sad about it when I will be abroad for a few months on an all expenses paid grant.Fast Forward…After being back from my grant in New York City there were a lot of changes. I hope to be a better artist in the future. Lately, I seem to have detractors on the ideas I present at Kulay Diwa Art Galleries as its new curator and director. Things do change unexpectedly. Choices made. Mistakes and successes learned. I hope to overcome them. I have been independent in my ideas and have the drive to be independent still in the future. I chose my career and I would live up to it. Sigh.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™

Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at

www.amiel-roldan.tk

www.amielroldan.tk

www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

www.amielroldan.wordpress.com

www.amielroldan.blogspot.com

www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html

www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan

www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan

please comment and tag if you like my compilations.

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com

amiel.roldan@gmail.com

******

Compilations of Old Blogs Part 1

2011-09-20T04:27:00.000-07:00

Winner Takes All !
June 29, 2009, 9:15 am
***05 31 2009

Last night was damn inconvenient. Stranded by rain and cornered by friends… It was a scenario I never expected to happen last night. Ha ha ha ha. It was one of those evenings you want to go home, forget about the issues and avoid all confrontations. I am still in relapse as I write this article though. Short of getting pneumonia, I stayed put and tried to avoid answering the questions thrown at me. The food is always great at Dr. Cuanang’s functions and I was just happy to have my fill.
The exhibit at Pinto Gallery was a good show. It was enough for collectors to go crazy again for Antonio Leaño’s paintings after a few years of almost ignoring him. He returned to his figurative works for the collections and incorporated his textural drippings of late. A guest asked me frankly what the technique was and I thought about the word “appropriation.” He did combine his two inclinations as assemblages with this new series of drawings and paintings. Two facets of the artist at a standstill. I still admire that he reinvented himself with his non-representational works after his much sought out figurative pieces. Even if this has had its drawback. He is stronger for it. He is an established artist and one of the few I admired and followed in his mid career. I am happy that we are following their generation’s breakthroughs and that they remain strong in the art scene today. The show was sold out before the night even started. There were many guests but less than when I last visited the art compound on another major show. It was a cause for celebration and all the works were well arranged. Thanks to Ruel Caasi who curated it but not for asking me frankly why I picked up Kulay Diwa Art Galleries when one has left it behind? A pity that the rain started to get stronger as night came. There was no escape in sight. The rain stranded most of would be guests in their homes. So those that remained were lucky because everywhere in Rizal was mud, muck and traffic.

The day started quite well. I attended my nephew’s baptism at the Edsa Shrine with a French priest officiating. We were all happy about the occasion finally happening. It was quite unique though to listen to a foreigner priest. We were all ears as we listened to the enunciation of the sacraments lest my nephew not be baptized properly and prayers sent to a different place. It was all rolling Rs. Ha ha ha ha… The poor kid had to be dressed up for the occasion and some of his jokes were missed completely. (The priest was missing a lot of his punchlines and not my nephew who is only 8 months. Ha ha ha.) I do give credit to the priest for doing his best though. After less than an hour we welcomed a new Christian boy. We then celebrated the occasion by trooping to my sister Hazel’s house in Cainta. The food was good. The kaldereta cooked by my “bayaw” was spicy awesome. I am lucky with my brothers’ in law as they are quite accomplished cooks and come from talented families. A pity I had to attend the exhibit because we could have ended the day with karaoke and believe me some of the people there that day are really great singers.
Going back to the event with friends I was relating. They were asking a lot of questions about my works, my galleries and my being uncontrollable a few years back. I have left a lot of controversial and sticky situations before and not bothered to clear them up properly. I guess because of recent scandals mine would not be overlooked this time. The Pinto Gallery was a big place in a big compound. Hiding somewhere would be a good idea I thought. Nah! It was really raining hard and I probably end up stranded for the whole night if I did that. Ha ha ha ha. I am taking this time to admit my errors in keeping curator Tence Ruiz and writer Ritchie Lerma in suspense until the exhibit day. The only excuse is financial constraints. I am sorry about the whole situation. I am not good at juggling home and personal expenses let alone for exhibits. I seldom also share my problems. They asked me also why I had all my co ACC artists breathing down my neck. Well, that was professional too as that was connected with one of the artist being at ends with me working for Kulay Diwa Art Galleries. It was an established artist who wanted to close the space permanently for personal reasons. Sigh… We are always caught between issues we don’t know about. Having no stand is better than being on the other side…. Sigh.. Ha ha ha… But we also had that cleared up eventually after a few years. We are sort of talking again. It was bad enough that we were at odds but I guess we had to include others too and made it complicated. I would just keep mum on that… They had years to enjoy each other…

Another question asked was why I had been outed from Surrounded By Water Gallery after years of camaraderie and working together?

Yes, there was disagreement… I left SBW after meeting with the group about certain do’s and don’ts. They did not remove me because I resigned as a member as my option. Opening the airconditioning for guests was a a big “No”. We call it energy saving now but it also included not opening the lights when we have one visitor or two. Daylight would suffice. Since the Gallery was Artist-Run-Space it has to be collective and consensus. It also might be better to see them without lights on. Maybe it wasn’t really the issue more to my attitude of uncooperation. We were young with big sense of pride once right? With three pairings officiating it was really hard to be the odd one out on trial. Where was justice? Ha ha ha ha… It was time to break off too for me then. I was less of a group but I was more of an individual on my own now. I could not be unsympathetic about our causes. SBW needed less of me now. I saw it too. Eventually, we got over our differences and we became friends again.
Honestly, I had no answers back then that I wish to defend myself other than we stand by our choices. I just wanted to believe that there would always be venues that would always be open for young artists to show in. A good space that we could work with peers, where we could appreciate our works in and see other peer works. Hiraya Gallery was alienated at the time and so was Boston Gallery. Nineveh Gallery was also distanced and even farther than anything in Sta. Rosa Laguna. Even though they also had a contingent there of artists they also had bigger factions. Sigh… Sigh…. No one could show at Duemila Gallery, West Gallery or Finale Gallery if they were not saleable or established. Drawingroom was very competitive and still is. I try to keep it separated as I consign there. Exhibiting again in Hiraya Gallery would have opened more pressure on me and outright retribution for blood… Sigh… Hiraya Gallery was a bigger issue untouched for years when I stayed put there to continue to exhibit… Never mind that it too had history and was the best damned gallery in the country for years…You had to go with the flow… You get dizzy choosing sides. I still wonder what an ideal prudish gallery is today. There were few people I needed to explain myself about my choices. Bobi V. always knew my stand. Because I was like a right hand that could do what the other left hand would not do. Sigh… Ha ha ha ha. I always wondered why I turned up rebellious. I guess it runs in my veins. When I am down I rise to the challenge.
I saw that if we could keep Kulay Diwa Art Galleries open for a few more years maybe this generation would be better. There were already good shows that Kulay Diwa Art Galleries contributed while Bobi V was curator. But we didn’t have that ideal place when I came back from the States. There was no curator there and no artists anymore. I promised Bobi V. before I left that I would work to help. It was just that when I came back everything was a mess. No one was speaking about anything and there was less a gallery to show in. The young artists that I was working with alongside were all in factions. We didn’t have any place to call home now. I guess they grew up when I was gone. All because of factions and ethical differences. We were faced with starting again from scratch. Some accepted that they would rather start again from scratch rather than work differences and problems. I had always worked with scratch and been not afraid of it but I was tired now. It had happened before and I just wanted to help out. I took a stand and made my choice. I opened up the spaces for almost three years to help young artists have one more venue to exhibit in. It was a struggle and harder climb for me. All my optimism was steadily being eroded by criticism and gossip. Friends are not friends anymore. The basic is that we needed venues and bodies of works to show. The attention would be towards the international scene. Not to Singapore, Malaysia, Australia, New Zealand or Hongkong only but to major European countries and America. Filipino artists are good if only we realize it on time. We are are parr with the best if only we knew how to help one another too.

On a note. I wanted to do what was right. I knew there was a big problem about money and irresponsibility hanging in the air. I thought that it could be fixed. Within ourselves we fought and became factions. There was envy and misunderstanding and there were less young artists. It severed it permanently and divided it with abrupt finality. My own artmaking had no place in it. There was no place I wanted to show my works if this was happening around me. This was not a situation I would like to keep my artmaking in but it was a situation I could clear up as a friend.

I chose to stay. I did stay for almost three years. It was very hard for me financially. I also had my family but I was working for other artists to come up with body of works and exhibits that I knew would not be secure. I knew where we all came from. I was burning candles at both ends. To be a full time painter we had to make sacrifices. I was not able to have time nor the finances. Working for demanding minds did take its toll. I also made my mistakes. I lost self confidence. I wanted Kulay Diwa Art Galleries to be open for emerging artists rather than the established ones. There was less artists. I wanted to know how strong my commitment then to helping them realize some of their concepts. There were less collectors. There were only two people that worked for Kulay Diwa for two years. It became very demanding for me. Time became demanding for me. Bobi V. had prioritize time and effort to promote young artists and I wanted it to continue it. It had no name by this time but I was passionate about it.
Ian Victoriano, Don Salubayba, Leslie de Chavez et al. were starting another venue with Tambayan Makiling but I knew it would not be enough. I guess new ideas come from old one. We should be opening more not closing the existing ones. We were all factions within a bigger group. We pull each other down. We pull them even if we don’t realize it. The venues at that time were not enough for artists and other galleries were already fully booked. I had made my stand even though it meant I had to sacrifice not exhibiting at Kulay Diwa Galleries because I would be curating there. It was already my gallery of choice with Bobi V. when I left. It was a pity he was not there nor here right now. If the times had been better I would have continued on my own. At this time the pressure I was also in had resulted to letting it be a compromise. I entered a contract that I would be in fully in charge with the three galleries in Kulay Diwa Art Galleries for three years at the most to keep it open for emerging artists. I would have decision to choose the exhibits that would be shown and the artists to include. It opened possibilities and it closed mine. I would have to commute for an hour to open it every day but that would mean I could also visit Bobi V almost everyday. I would have support for invitations, tarpaulin, openings and press release. It would mean I could not work or teach anymore. The time I have in managing my dad’s office would also be limited. It was less income for the household. I could not stay home because at anytime a collector could see the young artists and their works. I brought in some artists to exhibit largely on the two years. We came up with concepts and invitations for the exhibits. In one of the exhibit “Bagong Panahon” I was able to come up with an invitational exhibit like what we previously did with very large group of young artists. It was my concept and am proud of accomplishing it with the support of Bobbit Nolasco. This marked the collaborations with different artists and invitations with artist around the Philippines. It also started with ideas to exhibit emerging artist alongside international artists that we were able to invite. It was a pity that we had less visitors for the openings. It was unfortunate that the biggest spaces available for young artists were an hour away from Megamall. It was unfortunate that young artists could not go there anymore as frequently. It was opened for the collectors and buyers during the shows. The artists could come with their guests provided that the owner was there or that I was available. It was not a problem because we could stay there the whole day. I had invited a lot of artists and am thankful even for the few that risked and came. I would forever be grateful to them on sharing in this instance their ideas, concepts and time to work with me and Kulay Diwa Art Galleries. This have been momentous for me. It has been an upheaval and yet it strengthened my determination to succeed despite odds. There would not have been another opportunity for me to show my earnestness to curate in Kulay Diwa Art Galleries or with any other gallery at that time. I am just sorry that it had to be harsh for all of us to work in that kind of stressful environment of factions and competition. What I believed is that there would be opportunities for the young artists to come up with their own concepts if there were venues to exhibit in. That Kulay Diwa Art Galleries would be supportive of their pursuits. I have never swayed from this belief. I never in any instance entertained that there would be less for them if they had remained and not exhibited at all.
Why did I stop curating for Kulay Diwa Art Galleries?
I stopped because like Bobi V my parents are getting older. It was hard for me to struggle as I grew older but I made the choice. But it could not be said for older people. Sickness and health insurance should be available to them always. I would expect that too when it is time for me to retire. I had to work for three years so that I could build up finances for my home and my parents to live in. I hope artists would realize to get health cards for their loveones and be responsible for their own health. We would always be the first casualties. I was hoping that I could come back to make amends but sometimes we are too late. Now that I had finished and made medical records available for my parents, everything is fine for now. Maybe I would have the chance to start again to organize, curate and paint.

We become stronger with adversity and become challenged with knowledge and choices we make on our own. We have others to be examples and to guide us but it is still our decisions and our call. With Bobi Valenzuela gone now, we are still faced with what we have done and have chosen to do. We are now adults. We have made our mistakes and we learn from them as we learn from all our successes. We are human. We are alive. We breathe art. We will continue to make art our whole lives lest we not complete ourselves.
P.S. For the record there was no issue about airconditioning again. I am able to open it to my heart’s content at KD. Ha ha ha ha.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
#35-D P. Oliveros St., Barranca Ibaba,
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
(63) 9053027965 (63)9217452144
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
*** visit me also at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com

******

The Exhibit About Shoes and Feet
June 29, 2009, 9:14 am
***05 28 2009

It was warm last night when I went to an opening at Yuchengco Museum at RCBC Plaza in Makati City with some friends. It was the first opportunity for me to see the spaces there and some of the permanent exhibits. I had foremost in mind to see the exhibit “Portraits of Shoes and Stories of Feet” at the upper exhibit rooms. A friend recommended it. I noticed though that the museum could invest in interactive voice automated information while viewing the permanent collections or the exhibits. I observed to my disappointment that the space outside of the museum is just like a large ashtray with people going there to smoke rather than visit the collections or breathe fresh air in Makati. (That is if one could still find a place without smog).
I remembered years before so many instances that I accompanied my mom to Marikina City and carried her shoe stocks. Lugging them around was tough then. I also remembered we had at home boxes and plastics of so many different shoes. Seeing the exhibit surprised me that I had retained pleasant memories in my childhood despite sharing the house with hundreds of different shoes. Maybe being older and able to appreciate them more as experiences and learning had something to add. I also remember lately, leisurely going to Mantataring shops in Cebu and just looking at different shoes and leather products. I admire good boots and old fashioned shoes very much. I am happy that in this instance, skills and good workmanships are still appreciated by Filipinos today. The tradition still lives on in parts of the country. Going back to more important business.

I was engaged reading through the trivia’s and looking at photographs of the shoe exhibit. Marikina City as shoe district has been up since 1935. Looking at the different shoes on display amazed me that we have such contemporary concepts, designs and creativity in craft and arts. Inviting artists and personalities to highlight the plight of Philippine made shoes offered a great opportunity for all. I hope a lot of Filipino audiences would be aware of the exhibit and collections. Filipinos are very good with working with our hands and could appreciate these qualities. The times have brought in cheaper imports and machines to replace them yet we still appreciate the quality made ones. Usually they all would be lovingly accentuated or hand made. They would always be well worn on special occasions. The influx of surplus and secondhand shoes cheaply sold would affect the market though. They are affordable for everyday use. We could not not appreciate this too and it is a challenge that should go hand in hand. This will have a longer term effect. Handmade shoes might be lost in years of anonymity but I am sure better shoes would prevail. Documenting and creating awareness of Filipino shoe designers, makers and their works could help add to and preserve our heritage.

I had also the opportunity to talk with Pete Jimenez on his opening “If the Shoe Fits” at the Water Dragon Gallery in Yuchengco Museum. I liked his concepts and the opportunity he took advantage of when he incorporated wooden shoe molds to his metal sculptures. It complemented the shoe exhibit on the upper rooms. The gallery space was new to me and it was interesting to explore as a curator and space designer. It had pillars, corners, a balcony and stairs but it had ample lighting that gave the sculptural pieces their own spaces. The walls would be ideal for medium and smaller pieces. The series though has possibilities for the artist to follow through. I would suggest though that some could be worked more for forms and less for the novelty of appropriated or found objects. Lately, I have been seeing a lot of artists’ penchant for highlighting muck, crudity and excuses for works. It could only go so much.

*****

Lifted From Kontempo Magazine 2003
June 29, 2009, 9:08 am

Pasintabi lang po
Rebyu ni Leslie de Chavez

May dalawang taon ding isinantabi ni Amiel Roldan ang paggawa ng sining matapos ang kanyang huling eksibit sa Hiraya Gallery noong taong 2000. Ito ang eksibit kung saan inilunsad ang mga karakter na si ‘Pipay’ at ang ‘Huling Hari.’
Puno ng mga misteryosong karakter ang muling pagtatanghal ni Amiel na Kaliwa: Pipay, Rubbercut, 2000 Kanan: Cornerstone, Rubbercut, 2003 pinamagatang ‘Pasintabi’ sa Black Gallery ng Kulay Diwa. Binubuo ng 26 rubbercut prints ang eksibit na naituturing na muli niyang pagbabalik sa sining. Makikita dito na mas partikular siya sa pagbuo ng mga karakter na hindi direktang nagpapahiwatig ng kanilang katauhan.
Kasama ng mga tauhan sa bawat piyesa ang mga imahe tulad ng loop, mga bituin, hagdanan, ulap at pakpak. Mga imahe na karaniwang ginagamit ng mga Surrealists sa kanilang sining. Hindi na bago ang paggamit ni Amiel sa mga ito sa kanyang mga prints. At sa eksibit na ito, mapapansin na naging madalas ang pag-uulit ng mga nasabing suportang imahe. Dahil dito, maaring maging pare-pareho ang pakahulugan sa magkakaibang piyesa.
Kinakitaan din ang eksibit ng kakulangan sa panahon ng preparasyon dahil sa di masyadong maayos na mounting ng bawat piyesa. Nguni’t mababanaag din naman ang pagtatangka na magpakita ng kakaibang eskema ng presentasyon sa mga piyesang gaya ng ‘Forgotten’, ‘Flight’, ‘The Bounty’, ‘Final Pass’, ‘A Tribute’ at ‘Cornerstone’ . Magkakapatid na piyesa na marahil ay nabuo sa loob ng iisang panahon lamang. Mas buo ang mga karakter niya rito at may mangilan-ngilang bagong elemento gaya ng ulo ng baboy, aso at dahon. Ang natitira naman ay halos halfbody portraits lamang. Nguni’t sa kabila ng mga pagtatangka ay walang bagong pamamaran o teknik sa printmaking na ipinakita sa eksibit na ito.
Sa kabuuan, mararamdaman ang pagnanais ng eksibit na ito na makapaglarawan ng mga bagong karakter sa kumbensyunal na pamamaraan. Ang eksibit na marahil ay ‘Pasintabi’ niya sa mga taong kanyang nakadaupang palad sa loob ng mga panahong tumigil siya sa paggawa ng sining.

********

TAMBAYANG MAKILING
by Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Opening of Tambayang Makiling: a venue for various art disciplines Tambayang Makiling is a two-storey structure with a patio for outdoor sculpture. It has a ground floor viewing window which, during the opening, featured a display of handmade masks.

From the entrance, there are wide walls on both sides leading to a closed-off kitchen. Enough space for a major exhibit for visual artists or a suitable performance venue for dancers.
Stairs lead to a portioned off room ? a smaller exhibiting space intended for drawings. The initial offering included smaller works by other Makiling painters and visual artists led by Don Salubayba. Two rooms on the second floor is another major exhibit space. Here were mounted bigger works of Alwin Reamillo, Pablo Biglangawa Jr., Dindo Llana, Jon Red, Ian Victoriano, Marc Cosico, Juanito Torres, Kiko Feleo, Carlito Seneres, Phillip Alpajora and Jun Ureta. The space has an accommodating ceiling ? the largest work on the wall was a 53 in. x 77 in. work by Juanito Torres. A table and chairs on the far side are available for consultations and other formal discussions.

According to Biglang-awa, who, with Victoriano and Jon Red, leads, albeit informally, the visual arts committee of Tambayan Makiling, the space was created for functions of PHSA alumni and their immediate family. Being mostly former painters (before delving into film and video), they made more practical plans for the walls and over-all structure of the place– creating spaces which can be used for exhibitions and performances as well as work areas. The ambiance was created through months of refining and physical improvement. Future improvements planned include signage, lighting and a more definite patio.

Like Biglang-awa, Jon Red and Victoriano are planning solo shows in more prominent spaces and galleries. These plans, they say, would make for a stronger practice in their respective art careers. TM could also serve as a studio and residence for practicing artists.
Most of the leading members are in their late thirties and are quite settled in family and financial matters. The thrust of their arts programs is more for personal and creative satisfaction. The venue also keeps most of the PHSA alumni in touch.
For the younger alumni, the place offers more opportunities to exhibit their works.
One hopes that TM would be an equally viable place for all artist groups or individuals be they older or younger, PHSA alumni or not.

It is still quite early to predict TM’s success. TM’s concept is loose but seems workable. It offers a novel, albeit unpredictable, approach.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

The Long Watch - Baboy Damo by Roberto Feleo
by Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
I felt a bit sad on the evening of March 29 because another good month was ending. What have we accomplished so far? The war in Iraq and the plague known as SARS seem to occupy everybody’s minds. But above all other issues during these times of crisis, survival seems to be the most important.
An exhibit by one of the better artists of the Philippines in a month of uncertainties is what our national art scene needs — a show characterized by vision and the pursuit of newer challenges.
This was offered by Roberto ‘Bob’ Feleo, UP Fine Arts professor and a renowned artist, as he marked another milestone in Philippine sculpture with ‘Unanan’ at the Drawing Room, located at Metrostar Bldg., 1007 Metropolitan Ave., Makati City.

In this collection of urns, Bob Feleo displayed his characteristic virtuosity in the use of materials ? this time, it was powdered eggshells. Bakunawa ng Gabi by Roberto Feleo The numerous pieces were boat-like. They were designed with the ‘pinalakpak’ technique favored by Bob Feleo in his previous works. The pieces ‘Baboy Damo’ and ‘Kabibe’ were inspired simply because they weren’t overly decorated. Pieces that parody familiar shapes and textures illustrate the act of hiding and is closer to the premise of burying. The urns are pieces to regale and remember and not to forget kindred ones. Time and time again these containers for bones or ashes hold prominent places in homes, temples and altars. Realizing also that these few works could be museum pieces, I’m not sure they should be massproduced. (Please don’t cross the boundary of commercialism.) Undebatable is that this artist marks the chapter in our lives with an ‘irresistible piece’ to ponder about — death as a journey.
After his retrospective in 1999, the artist has been reclusive about his works. We could say that this series marks a new beginning. Or is it the culmination of the remarkable 1994 Tau-tao series?

The audience at The Drawing Room was a mixture of academe and Feleo supporters. I felt at times irreverent in thinking that most of the senior guests were probably eyeing their own special urns and planning their journeys. (As for me, the thought is farthest from my mind. Yet, what could I do? Blame it on this good collection of urns turned art. I suddenly felt the urge to shop ? for a coffin?

The word ‘Unanan’, though, was a puzzle to me. I found it appropriate at first since the rootword is ‘unan’. But as an invented word (which it could have been), I found it misleading.
It might have been coined from ‘Inunan’ which I associate with giving birth, not death. But this is still deceptive. It is the placenta that feeds the fetus during much of its term. In certain tribes, it is buried to mark an auspicious life and to mislead any predators of the newborn. In animal life, it is a source of nutrition and is usually eaten again to conceal it.
Roberto Feleo used the term ‘Unanan’ but should have used either the Bisaya or Kapampangan words ‘Inunwan’ or ‘Ulonan’ if he meant pillow or a head resting-place.
Nevertheless, the well-crafted pieces make an impressive show, with a good exhibit design, though I found it a bit maudlin with the candles and bottles of gin.
During periods of upheaval come greater thrusts for artists to strive for. In this wartorn month of March 2003, Unanan provides interest and hope.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

Poems 2009

2011-09-20T04:26:00.000-07:00

A list of poems in progress…
June 29, 2009, 9:31 am

May 2008
Just writing thoughts …
A list of poems in progress…

bend with the wind
**** May 2008

as flexible time
flow like air and sway
with the gentle breeze
anchor me yet to ground.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

grief
**** May 2008

in my pain
in my isolation
in my need
i want only you.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

purpose
**** May 2008

i seek my destiny
on my own to find
guide my path
and stay my journey.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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*********

in just time
**** May 2008

bring me the hand
that would not sway
a gentle touch
but a purposeful claim.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

calling the wind
**** May 2008

in its entirety
nature untamed by man
i echo lost
heard at last.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

the serenade
**** May 2008

a tune
a woman
a passion
a beginning
a climax at end.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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*********

in the just
**** May 2008

is it worth?
or is it just?
a cost of exchange
for a life in return.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

passed on…
**** May 2008

we move
still we always
passed on another
to start and begin again.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

wait
**** May 2008

an hour…
a minute more
a day of
an unending
so sure of
a day wasted for you again.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

bygones
**** May 2008

farewells are changes
a start and an end
we say ‘good byes’
yet what we mean is ‘the end’.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

trellis
**** May 2008

crawling forth rows
a tendril shoots
clinging vines
of thorned bruises
shrouded pairs
of couplings.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

flow
**** May 2008

streams of current
rivers of tides
gurgling froths
sharp bends.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

sunshine
**** May 2008

a lighted porch
basking in the rays
a beaming smile
glorying the days.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

fretting
**** May 2008

i mock and slump
on another day of work
wanting the day to end
for me to start the end
a week gone by.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

late for work
**** May 2008

rushing minutes
dead ends
last minute forgotten
timed out.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

the finding
**** May 2008

we find the solitude
sometimes so proper
a finding of self
we soon will discover.
we look for the places
that would always anchor
our belief, faith
and our simple wonder.
we will find the beauty
of peace and contentment
in our home
we always call ‘our haven’.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

oracle
**** May 2008

so tell me,
the past is not my future
so tell me ,
my fruition and my venture
so tell me,
my path…
so tell me,
that i know the truth?

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

mourning
**** May 2008

i weep
**** May 2008

for fate.
i am pained
for a life so brief.
i grief

of a death
and i cry
for a life
thats starting again.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

the start
**** May 2008

of a break
a fissure
a strain
of a fractured pain.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

sucrease
**** May 2008

the throbbing…
penetrating release
wanting it to end,
now please!

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

mistaken
**** May 2008

am i right
to trust?
am i true
to give?
am i just
to share?
or am i like just everyone
- always wrong.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

the smell
**** May 2008

that urge…
the strong scent…
overpowering
weakening…
an odor so foul
it brings me to thought
is the #@&!! person beside me sending out the *!!!?#@%…? bad smell?

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

cruel
**** May 2008

the knife that wounds
to cut and let flow
hate and anger
revenge at last.
a running start
let you run your chain
let you speak your part
let you know your freedom
let you know your end.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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amiel.roldan@gmail.com

********

other titles in progress…

.dregs
.just me
.collared
.the dead end
.giving up
.hungry
.another beat
.first pass
.approaching challenges
.color me
.when dreams start
.when we become
.finding me
.looking
.feather
.stone
.rockets
.rewire
.comfort zone
.step back
.pursuit
.driven
.homework
.innovational thinker
.developing new habits
.creating parallel pathways
.modes of thought
.breaking the belief system
.major rule

*************

journeys
**** May 2008

sweet sojourns
on plains of vistas
scenic beauty
of unending walks.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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******

belonging
**** May 2008

i belong to no one
my walk is my own
my gaze is mine
my thoughts are you but still mine.
trust
turn the tide of truth
darken not my path
lies that shroud
severed ties.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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******

brief
**** May 2008

a glance
a gasp
a scent
and she was.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

the ending
**** May 2008

in this it began
a story of no final ending
it starts
at the last
and ends in the beginning.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

a journey
**** May 2008

you would find
in a book of travels
and of wonders…
the thrills and adventures.

here we end
when we close
the book’s chapter
where the cycle all began.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

the serenade
**** May 2008

a tune
a woman
a passion
a beginning
a climax at end.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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www.amielroldan.tk
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at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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******

in the just
**** May 2008

is it worth?
or is it just?
a cost of exchange
for a life in return
passed on…
still we always
passed on another
to start again.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
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at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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******

tons of friends
**** May 2008

have you seen?
seen a friend?
yet i know a friend
when i see him.
a friend is
to be seen
to be one
and to see.
in some
i’ve seen the friend i know
yet in knowing
a friend i be.
yet i only know i see
is only
when i know a friend
or a friend knows me.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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www.amielroldan.tk
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at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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******

anger shows
**** May 2008

the hold as tight
to claim a pain a sob
of knowing you caused
with no regrets
too late.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

dance the steps
**** May 2008

a checkered path
a loaded gesture
released passion
and grind the beat
sway and extend
turn and bend
odds are
this is the last dance.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

the call
**** May 2008

i wait and wait
a call i want to make
the ringing stops
i wait for it to ring again.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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******

words of passion
**** May 2008

some words they touch
an understanding met
some leave their mark
yours though, cuts.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
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at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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******

the thrust
**** May 2008

briefly and gently
please don’t rush
just stay there
still as i must.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
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at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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******

color me
**** May 2008

color me the colors of want
paint me the strokes of need
dab me the nuances of lights
layer me the complexities of you.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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****

when dreams start
**** May 2008

i wake in a journey
and ends here in a haze
of an indistinct travel
of where i’ve just been.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk

at my blogs:

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****

one with me
**** May 2008

when we become one
it is me that would connect
a commitment of works
a beginning of me.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
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****

finding me
**** May 2008

i hide
i bury myself
i do not look
so i become lost
not to seek
and not to find.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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www.amielroldan.tk
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at my blogs:

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****

Burning Matches and Balloons

2011-08-18T17:45:00.000-07:00

08182011

Walking really could be fun and I enjoyed doing it regularly. It is a good time to catch up with my thoughts and events for the day. I find taking in the air while you stroll around a treat, an adventure and an exploration early on. It became for me a habit and a hobby that will continue till am salt 'n pepper. I want to discover different places. Yet, I miss walking again in surroundings I am familiar with. It is a charting of oneself that we might do at some point- a kind of meditation for me.

I found myself just strolling on University grounds on a leisure Wednesday of August. There were the usual joggers this afternoon. There were lanes just for walking, cycling and jogging. It is much safer nowadays I guess. Different. Most of the students were enjoying the last few hours of the day. It wasn't hectic. A swell time really if your not hurrying home to do chores.

The sun was just setting. I took some photos, marveled at my complacency, paced and just imbibed the sweet air of pollution. Then I remembered mosquitoes and the threat of dengue. Quezon City being one of those spots that had several cases. Time to go home then. Nah! A few more minutes wouldn't hurt. Still if I keep on worrying, distracted, I might miss the sunset.

I am a bit sentimental with special places I grew up in. Tracing roots, remembering friends, recalling mentors, finding oneself and righting your course. It was a time for reassessment and self critiquing. I am always older no doubt about it and my own body has changed too these past years. I feel much more mature. I fear that I am an older generation now and getting there. I hope I am half as wise as those that taught me, nurtured and inspired me. I am lucky I have my health for now.

It was also a time to be thankful mostly for all the good things that came my way. Responsibilities came to mind, I felt good and grateful for even accomplishing the few I needed to do. Responsibilities might have routed me from an easier or a straighter path but it made the expectations, challenges and outcome all the better.

After walking some more it began to rain a bit. There were a lot of kiosk to shelter from the drizzle and reminded me more again of warm food and friends. Hmmmmmm. What's for dinner? Squid balls I guess. Maybe some barbeque at Greenhouse? Of course, I still cringe on the boo-boos I made. There is no forgetting them but they go hand in hand always with the goods things one has done.

One of my earliest memory of being scared was balloons and matches. I learned never to mix the two. I had the worst experience I never would like to repeat. Try being uniquely bandaged, burnt and without eyebrows at 8. You get everyone's attention. Artmaking has fed my creativity and showed me boundless possibilities. It brought me mentors, friends, family and recognitions. It never failed me. I might have neglected it some but it always gave me that special goal to express, to absorb, to regurgitate, to learn and to unlearn. I would always look forward to doing some kind of painting or print in the future . Those times I hesitated were times past, of fear with not accomplishing much and what I want to do in this lifetime- of not having enough "time" again.

This predicament we have right now is a bit sensitive and needing some thought. I hesitated this long enough to even write about some of it. I read accounts published, marveled at the images, laughed at personalities and felt sad on different perspectives. Sigh. This is responsibility for having a democratic country. I am familiar with the personalities, concepts and the works involved but it went beyond those. Heck! Some of my earlier works reeked the same direction. This too was extreme. Concepts that an artist might pass through to find their direction, continuity or their mistakes. It did not threaten just those things though now. It touched on morality and basic rights of all artists. But it distracted. It did not shed light to the problems like the lack of funding in the arts, lack of better venues, recognition, direction and support. They instead were relegated as an afterthought. It drew spite, vindictiveness and anger. That is wrong. All these important things that support arts need to be addressed properly too and discussed with the proper forum. Maybe more than a few times. We lack a lot of things. We caught their attention and it should now benefit these too. We failed on our vigilance if this doesn't happen. We failed on attention for all the hype. How can our Nation grow without artmaking growing? We might not agree on a lot of things but we are a democracy. Art is being free. We struggle but we have our shinning moments and more would come. We have a strong State, encompassing faiths, good leaders and stalwart citizens. We have all the elements of a great country, we are a melting pot of influences and learning. Let it always help and inspire our people be they artists or not.

Predominantly what is now being discussed has become a bit tasteless. Too much chewing I guess. We have been experts on arguing ourselves and bashing. It is now time to be helpful.

Sensitivity, response, tolerance, respect, diligence, creativity and awareness should always be with us Filipinos. The artists on the streets and planking in the church are not what we need now. We expect attention too on a lot of problems with both short, middle and long term solutions. Higher taxes, a plague of dengue, a string of carnapping, grandstanding on senate hearings, typhoons, disillusionment, unemployment, economic decline around and et al are what we fail to see, grasp and immediately address. Let the tide of morality take their course without fanning it out of proportions. Let filed cases stand and be defended by both sides in proper time and venues.

I urge the artists to make newer works not dabble in politics. I urge artists to be in their studios to paint and not to grandstand. I hesitate to incite or to cause discord but I disagree to back down on individual artists rights and freedom always. This I would fight with my brush and paints. I urge artists to be creative, be sensitive, be tolerant and to be always humble. I urge artists to set discussions, lead by vision and creativity and hear them out. I urge to let the Filipino culture shine the best in all our dealings. Wow, a mouthful really! Am out of breath now. Sigh. Moving on...

Am decided now to give myself more opportunities to work with my prints and to paint some more. I want to do what I really have passion for. Time for myself to think of grander thoughts while just painting away. I believe my fellows share some of these sentiments.

I'm a bit selfish to want time and effort away from conventional living. I guess that is me through and through. I would rather be doing my painting and being on my own steam. I might end up arguing with a lot of people but am obstinate enough to be content with just being simple and lazy. I would not like to be trapped in success in skills I never liked to do. I find many times I could define myself. Art helped me discover many things about living - for many it shouldn't be a responsibility to give back and share. We might all dance a different beat but we should make artmaking in our country always grow.
P.S.

08162011

The first time I saw KULO - the group exhibit at the CCP was on its opening night. I will say that I am familiar with the artwork Poleteismo. It was then in a two man show, a part of the series titled Relics and complemented by another work. I helped organize the two man exhibit and formalize it. I helped set it up at Kulay Diwa Art Galleries in 2005 on several premises. I understood it- I understood the artist and believed in the concept. I have a grasp on its impact then and supported its run as a striking out of an emerging artist. All this with less the accolades, promotions, location, manpower, hype and distinctions Mideo Cruz later received as an established artist. We had a controlled environment and it even stretched for several months without any untoward incident. I regret that this has caused irreverence yet I still stand in support of rights to individual expression, due respect, artist humility and individual belief. These were given. It had created repercussions, precedence and losses that I think will be detrimental in the long run. Right now we are being made to see that abstaining from exhibiting and throwing opportunities as a direction. I disagree. It wasn’t long ago that we lacked venues open for both young and established artists and purposely throwing it away is not the direction. It also created selections and weeding out. The outcome is less personalities now in strategic positions, I guess... As a curator though, I do not support the idea on the later KULO group exhibition with lesser information, no disclaimers, grandstanding, self promoting of artworks being shown before on different contexts, no accountability for threats and vandalism and the indiscreet prerogative of the curator to also participate in the show. Poleteismo could have transcended these but sadly it could not.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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Eat, Drink and Shit Art

2011-07-14T22:59:00.000-07:00

07 15 2011

This week was eventful. I just won the five minutes Ridiculous Burger Challenge at A. Venue Mall Makati Avenue corner Valdez St. and at The Fort Strip, Global City, Taguig. Quite a feat really. I did it under 3 minutes. Having that feather under my cap, I could really boast am a pig. Hahahahaha.

I went to several exhibitions the past two months after resigning from my bank work. I enjoyed the exhibitions and the new galleries. I posted new pictures on some of my pages.... I found out I just missed it greatly. I learned my lesson and looking ahead to a brighter one for me.

Having no immediate responsibility was suddenly a pleasant reawakening. No fixed salary to expect though and a health insurance for day to day activities. But I never cared much about it and will never do. It's really a good plan to save for oneself and immediate dependents. I have none though now for a change. I decided to quit work for bettering myself. It was bad really for most to be out of a job at these times but I had to do it since I have not been productive with my artwork despite having a job during this hiatus. I don't hold the six years as a waste. It was something novel that I haven't tried before. It was security. I was never passionate about it though. Even sporting the latest blackberry cell and more gadgets I could think of am ridiculously unchallenged. I have no regrets but it's a decision at this crossroads now and I made it willingly. Now, I just need more works and exhibits. Life is what we make of it.

It was a big thing for me to aspire and make some contributions to the art scene. Looking back I made some awareness but too little. Even though I was part of it. i felt the struggle. I enjoyed it quite while it lasted. Regaling wouldn't change it nor would griping but who wants to? I just want to document my thoughts this time for posterity.

Now its 2011 and am back to square one and a clean slate. What to do now? I always wanted to retire just painting away and even that has changed. I guess a lot of my decisions before made me patient and hopefully more diligent. The zest of youth is past and we are older in all aspects. wiser to accept losses and be thankful for gains. I still have a lot of short term plans still to accomplish but my long term plans are already set. I will enjoy being older just shitting art.

I rue that we had very few opportunities then. It was never so. They were all there but we never took much attention. We were apprehensive rocking the boat. I also rued we were so few back then. That too was not true since we never lacked friends and companions. I still am amazed meeting colleagues and friends everywhere I go. I recalled that someone once told me that if people in Soho or Greenwich greeted you across the street you must be shitting art pretty big. Since when I was there I had several occasions I called off friends' names and they called back. He he he he he. I had a lot of partying and that was a great time. Life was simpler and this too was untrue. Much more expensive or cheaper? This was also subjective. You learn from what fellows passed though. Their decisions and its outcome. One could learn a lot or not. Reinventing yourself just makes you less aware of your baggage. But its a way of survival. Who is to say we should just be coursing one path when we have a lot to take while we live and eat?

The people I looked up to had matured too themselves and I am proud that they continued their course. I greatly respect that the stayed true to what they believed in. Awed that they had always their passion.

I enjoyed listening to my former professor's talk and missed going to the University where I spent a great time of my Art years. I enjoyed meeting with old friends and just relaxing a bit. This is a start of my chapter I guess of "Eat, Drink and Shit Art". This is a phrase I remember the best people in the arts live by. I enjoyed the brutality of the art scene just being a spectator now I get to live it again and again.

Having spent several years under Chabet, I could really understand the challenge of Blood and Glory. Or is it Blood and Gory? I pity the ones who lacked the spine to make it worth though. As I understood it, life gives you opportunities to choose the best teachers that would prepare you for a better life. They also give you lifelong models, teachers and great friends. I am lucky I met and worked with them even though just for the briefest of lifetimes. Reliving that just being in the same peripheral of great people is a life to live for for most. I hope I we wouldn't stop there.

I like living life and am enjoying it. Am thankful for friends, family and mentors. I have my health and my works if am ever finished with them. I have my passion and mojos and will get to enjoy it to the fullest. Being matured and old is something I would look forward to live through.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
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at my blogs:

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www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
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Compilations of Old Blogs Part 2

2011-05-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

Older But Not Wiser This Sunday
May 7, 2011, 11:51 pm
****05082011
Sunday

I figured now is the time to write again. Something to think about on this eventful day of another Manny Pacquiao awakening !!!! Congratulations Manny on being floored !!! Referee and opponent Mosely stinks !!! 12 rounds and going strong but not strong enough to knockout a good friend down on even grounds!!!! This time Manny gives another person a career and stellar lights in keeping Shane Mosely up and not down.

I visited an exhibit of an artist friend Jonathan Ching at Blanc Mandaluyong and it was so so. Ching is already a veteran of exhibits locally and abroad. Quite a feat really. He has the sophistication and experience of an older artist with a time proven formula. Discipline and tenacity. Add a bit of sugar still a bit too bland.
I guess the deal was did Jonathan Ching get his act right on time? We get older and sometimes wiser just riding the waves and not going against it. It will be a comfortable ride from here on then. It is years of complacent struggle that we kinda fall prey to. I understand the works and like the idea of assemblages but on periodic colors and coffee table settings. It was a tad to safe… Where is the brand of anger and struggle in his paintings? But I guess jolly Jonathan Ching will never be that. He would opt to fold papers and metals on his spare time. Where is the hunger, unpredictability and indignity sometimes an artist goes through? It will never be a terrible painting but it could not dislodge the sense of security on status he now enjoys as a mature artist with nothing to prove. Nice guy and nicer paintings I would say.

Heck! I have seen a lot of these in my days and guess would be seeing more through the years if I could not help it. Reminds me of settling down barefoot with a string apron tied around the waist. If he wasn’t male I would say it was done by a barefoot pregnant woman. An older matronly friend could relate I would guess. Stitching is the way to go. Hahahahaha! Hope he sees the light of day and throws away his mittens and bite the bullet hard. Getting wearily hitched might just be around the corner but likely a detrimental thing to everything a wild, weird and wasted artist could do.
It’s like Pacquiao’s latest fight today which I saw via live streaming. It was an older man who has it all against an older man who is about to lose it all. The fight was a gentleman’s fight so you would expect it not to be a crowd pleasing fight.

Early on the third fight you get to know that Manny Pacquiao could easily turn it to a memorable fight with knocking Shane Mosely down with finesse. But one just have to wait after knocking him down until the 12th round. Please the paying crowd. Of course please a sparring partner’s ego. There was no follow through. Who could really fight a good friend unless this friend pushes you down on the ring, on the 10th round? You then realize you were too complacent and not doing your job right.

But who would Manny Pacquiao listen to nowadays that he has his accolades, band of brothers, great respect and adoring fans who look up to him as god given talent. It’s a higher ground he stands on and not many could be eye level with him despite him being quite small.
Now everyone likes drama to a degree and when you get that high you sort of want it to always happen. That is always the public. You compromise your standards and wham it will just hit you that your an idiot to a degree. I have expected more and yet saw very little in the fight. The thought of Manny Pacquiao being booed by the crowd who wants always blood, pushed by his opponent on live broadcasting and having to stand fight again was his own private hell magnified. Recognizing it not a fight with his opponent only but a stinking referee who ignored a right and made a huge blunder on showing his bias to public record. Well hear more as the days to come. But that is the difference there. Manny Pacquiao has his belts and his gloves to fight his life. Artists has his canvasses and his pleasing audiences.
I was at PSP today for a sneak preview of the exhibit “Blackgate” for Caloy Gernale’s and Tristram’s supported venture. I guess this time am speechless and floored even just seeing just a few pieces. I am going to the opening even if Manny Pacquiao crosses my path and beats me up Hahahahahahaha…

On a sadder note. Am still grieving the loss of a parent and yet I am relieved now that I did my best through the years of uneventful hiatus and despite sacrificing my artmaking for working in a bank… But am proud I still have my razor teeth intact. Till next time though.

P.S. New bigger exhibit spaces are here to stay and new younger artists will always show their mark. Kudos to empowerment in the Philippine Art scene. Just prove them that you have the staying power to last the 12th round with hardly a scratch on your face. Get Manuel Ocampo to scratch your back and maybe add a doodle or two. Just maybe you could be made. Hahahaha. Hatton better get a new face as you have an axe to grind with Manny Pacquiao. Too scared to get in the ring again I guess. Me am just shitless. My mojos are back. Care to dance with me?

What to expect this week. I am going to MC on the 14th of May to wave the Philippine flag. This will be a great show of challenging artists and older challenging artists. Be speechless for a week though. Have to see this event by Tin-aw Gallery feat MC.

MONUMENTAL
in partnership with
Manila Contemporary
May 14 - May 29, 2011
Mike Adrao
Plet Bolipata
Elmer Borlongan
Antipas Delotavo
Alfredo Esquillo Jr.
Mark Justiniani
Joy Mallari
Ferdie Montemayor
Maya Munoz
Jose Santos III
More power to co-producing the better shows.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com

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When You Get Sick
July 16, 2010, 6:25 am
***07162010

I don’t know how it started but this week seems to top all. I just got better from sore throat a week ago and now a few days ago I was diagnosed with hypertension with a whooping 180/110… Am OK. I guess since twice I was discharge from ER without a scolding. It kinda puzzles me though about the irregularities… I will be under maintenance from now on. I should bring my own blood pressure test device though the next time. I just got twice in ER a 130/90 even without rest today only after a few minutes travel to and fro.
Children get sick and Adults too I guess now. If I push too much I get bad health. If I pace it my performance suffers then. A balance in life. Now, I understand more the idea of too many things and so little time. It kinda flashes by too quickly. The idea of burning candles and what other things you haven’t done in life. I’m delving in the regrets so I’ll keep it short. I got a long sermon from the company doctor about maintenance and healthy living at my age of 38. Quite an earful but you have to be serious for once in these kind of events. Take care of yourself always as you also take care of others around you. You should always treasure the moments you lived a carefree life and I guess that would have to be cut short now. Tsk tsk tsk. Life is too brief. You make all your best efforts and hopefully you will make the best mark in life and others.
Am sorry for the babbling though people. It’s just that I couldn’t keep away from the internet without writing something on this extraordinary week for me. I am learning though again in a slightly painful way that in the end you keep only the things you started with. I also learned to cherish the moments of my life more everyday.
What would one keep when his/her health is failing? Money? Photographs? Books? Art? Car ? Titles? or Clothes? Everything would be useless until the end and quite so trivial. Imagine expending your last breathe haggling the price down. Ha ha ha ha ha… That is a question for us all. Even without monetary gain I would always keep good art with my best. I think of my works as family too in a weird way.

It cascaded the next few days to become more surreal. Dad just had a heart attack last night amidst the brownout that caught up the whole of Luzon for more than 12 hours. He will be confined in ICU for the next five days. He is stabilizing now and in good hands but this comes as a blow on a great year for all of us. He has the best doctors and quite energetic. He has more sleep now as he will be sedated I guess in ICU for the duration of his stay there. Everything is quite better. He has medications for his blood sugar levels and attention to the minutest pain. Good ole Dad! My health card would cover some only. Time will tell. It will probably be only the consultations if worse get to be the case. Am still working out the kinks for more percentage. Company rules that seem alien to me a few years back is quite common and negotiable to me now. I am now in a corporate world too. Juggling so many things is quite hard but not impossible. Mom was totally left out of the deal though. Because of their age now mom just missed getting a health card for the year and dad only has the last 3 months to have his. Luck places a great deal but it is quite unpredictable. I always believe that Lady Luck has always been by my side.This has become a test of something we could extend and go beyond ….prayers, beliefs, reassurance, help and a supportive family we should never have to do without. Missing just one could be a great ordeal. Not that anyone is critical but that we could always remember to make your choices count with the right supportive people around you.

When you get sick bad? Who do you want to be there with you?
Everyone were initially joyous of the birth of Joaquin and Juan Iñigo but caring for growing babies in reality is full time job with no holidays for years to come. Congratulations to the new moms and dads. But I will say this, a child’s smile and laughter is precious and a joy to hear even in the most angst state.

I am enjoying very much my stay at my new company. It became a bit like numbers when one would balance performances, the perfect attendance and try to get more sleep in. I tried thinking of all the ifs’ but could never put anything against working a good living in perhaps the best company for me. Never mind that I am again regressing. I enjoy working with the arts in a more conducive and pre-planned setting… Why not get the best then at this time? Get a healthcard to boot to while your at it. Life is also too short to limit what you can learn and do even in the grand old age of 38.

Choices are subjective so I’ll just say what I made were best for me now. It might keep me anchored longer since this revelation…. Appreciation and Loyalty places one’s affection to a piece of company logo unwittingly. Sigh…. Ha ha ha ha. I am just thinking of staying put now and painting away in the Philippines…

P.S. I saw a good exhibit amidst all of these though. An ongoing sculpture show at the Deutche Bldg at the Fort. I am guessing it is by Sajid Imao too as there was a great fanfare when the huge opening happened. I have a hard time getting in though as these were reserved for VIP. Security and everything falls short on aesthetics. Tsk tsk tsk. Good job on the new sculpture infront of the building Sajid!

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

At the Front of the Line
March 14, 2010, 3:47 am
***03 12 2010

I guess being patient has its advantages. I have never been complacent to wait. I always have to have a finger in every pot literally. I meddle and am quite irreverent. I don’t know why I have this streak of immaturity and brashness but I’ve come to live with them.
I wonder about all the beautiful things that one could posses and I stick to simpler and uncomplicated ones…. Ha ha ha ha .. A night out and it was at six am that I got home to rest. I just am not convinced that one should have no goals, no dreams or settle for anything less. Most of the time am this dependable person but then it gets to be routine and I just have to find that streak of stupidity to tap on. The only good side of that is when it gets worse am really relaxed. I hope I don’t get sick about it though. It has its ups and downs.

I was forever in training for the past three months on an on the side job… Ha ha ha .. I aim to work still but quite amused that I just did it and committed myself to the effort. Hmmm… Am probably searching for some greener grass and other topics of life I guess.

I was like starting an Iwagami tank. You have to be relaxed and stress free when you embark on this meditational hobby. You create a surreal world behind a water glass. If life were to end today I would be content and happy to leave everything. I guess there are plans that are materializing still and people that could be built a fruitful relationships with. Alas! It just has to wait and accept somethings are just not going to happen soon. I got to talk with a former alumni at the University. I got the impression that even with family and a simpler life one could not be content enough for himself. If I had to live his life, I would just savor what I have and be more optimistic. I guess one could be paranoid through the years when one gets older but am never been one to be scared about reality. I am only scared of scary movies because I let myself be open to senses to emotions around me and on what could be imagined. But after that one could sleep a sound one without any bad dreams. I am that person who would not avoid confrontations– out of fear of being bored to death with not doing anything and to always wonder.

I am perennially inclined to just strike out on a whim and go for them tenaciously out of sport. I wanted none to regret about but I never regretted that I don’t do vices. They were just not fun at all without reality and your senses intact. The outcome is worse too when you get the repercussions in relationships, opportunities, health, sanity and consciousness. There were to many at stake that I could live in simplicity not without.

The kids (nieces and nephews only…Tsk tsk… Ha ha ha ha) are growing up and I can’t wait to see them all with their own personality. I am rueing the teenage angst though… emo trips and et al…Tsk tsk tsk… I would want to see them decide on life but that curiosity stretches too thin when it is against your own dreams. Life is just a combination of circles. One would end up on top eventually and one would be lower too on the next turn.

I guess one could say am at the front now- age wise, experience and maturity to boot. I am going to decide again where I want this few years to be devoted on. Something I have put back because I wanted to wait to do them when am gray with age. Since am hereditary inclined not to get them, I guess I can’t wait anymore. I am taking installation and sculpture to another level for me.

I went to a fellow artist’s exhibit at Blanc Mandaluyong and found the works capable.Hmmmm. Safe… I am afraid we will have a new addition to painterly realism to booth. Accentuating some with objects worked but on itself they did not. I guess one could say that one wall should have been left alone. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. There were few visitors for this night but I guess most would be away. It was the night before Pacquiao vs Cottey and a weekend sale too. We could do away with the wider spaces between and the almost measured distance. The aircon did their havoc again. It could be avoided but still it was distracting that night. It was a grand exhibit for Jonathan Ching. Layout point was more than competent. A good night still. Congratulations.

For the record, I am not Whatswrongwithart?… I don’t know him or her but I would say this. Kudos! Am wondering on some of your tact and on why didn’t I think of that? Just be patient and let things fall into place. ( Figured it out a few days after. Still won’t metion names. It’s a she of dimunitive stature.)

I just missed my chance to see Mo Space again…and of course Chabet’s… Tsk tsk tsk. But this was a time for friends. By the way Ghe you look great last night! Ha ha ha ha… I didn’t get to talk with you and I miss all my college buddies.

The UFO I also missed last night but I get to have a Blanc shirt… Thanks and more power to Blanc Gallery…

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

A Blogger’s Night(mare)
February 19, 2010, 3:26 am
***02 18 2010

It was a night so serene. Everything seems to be falling in their right place and order. I have been away for a few weeks and haven’t even logged on to write a blog for the year. I am quite amused at watching the day unfold and events happen in their right course. I guess everyone has their own place under the sun and right now we should just enjoy it while it lasts.
It’s quite funny that even the simplest of discomforts could rattle even the most patient person and the critical could calm them on the next instant. I guess am just enjoying life as it is. I enjoyed much of the happenings this past year and quite pleasantly surprised on novelties that seem to unfold everyday for 2010.
I guess between Pacquiao fights during these months everyone is crazy for the next bit of sensationalized news. Let’s just remember that life is learning for all people. I am happy that I am here in the Philippines and in the arts. I might not be one of those on the limelight but I can enjoy the view from a balcony. Ha ha ha ha.
Gatekeeping is the prerogative of a blogger and anonymity a preference. Recognition is only awarded by those in positions — be they be falling or rising. Legitimacy is commitment to one’s cause. Usually those in a frame of command themselves started with anonymity and are fast to defend themselves from threats. The normal course of life is to struggle onwards and leisure a state of mind that we could always do with more.
Through the years I met a lot of characters in the art scene and I respected their individuality and capability. One should always be open to surprises and criticism as those are learning processes we could always do with be us old or young.
I support challenges to norms and traditions. History could be cruel to oppositions but they bring to balance what we normally won’t see. I would like to give young people their chances and if they stumped a few on their path to learning so much the better.
Youth has their potentials unbidden and uncontrolled. It’s great that we have our chances and its great we make names for ourselves. Responsibilities do come with choices we make. I do not condemn any instance of indecision. I do not believe that anyone would be cowardly. I do not believe in power trippings and tyranny. Those in positions should step down on level ground before they argue their causes as what we have during election periods. My sympathies goes to the underdogs and underrepresented in our societies to a certain point with accountability. Their voices should also be heard freely and if blogging or a social network could fill that outlet then so be it.

I would encourage more critical visual images and apt wordings and observations. The more the merrier. Diversity also should be promoted. I do not believe that there should be only one or a few voices heard. Debates and discussions should also be encouraged. If one would stay anonymous like a super hero or a villain then so be it. Choices always define us. This time with the new infrastructures in the arts, sensibilities, critics, writers, artists and awareness. Let us hope the arts scene would grow bigger and better in the Philippines.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

******

A Good Night
January 8, 2010, 10:51 pm
***12 08 2009

I went to Finale Gallery tonight for Poklong Ananding’s and Jason Oliveria’s solo exhibition opening. I also wanted to see the collection exhibition opening for Nova Gallery. This was the first time I was able to see a show there. The space was well made. Very much chic. It was a night I expected to see good works and revisit again some of the better pieces that were bought by Mr. Cojuangco through the years. I am happy to see them in good condition and marvel the impact they still have on me. I remember that they started my enthusiasm for great works and good exhibitions. I saw again the works by Norberto Roldan, Neil Doloricon, Delotavo, Egai Fernandez, Nune Alvarado, Charlie Co, Santiago Bose, Bogie Tence Ruiz et al. These are the major artists of their time. I was lucky enough to attend several of the major shows that some were exhibited in. I saw on many occasions that they were some of the best pieces then and still is now. How I admire Santiago Bose’s piece . It was quite timeless. I knew at one time even the late curator Bobi Valenzuela’s appreciation were imbued through touch perhaps on some of these paintings? My good friend Bobi V. Sigh… My personal contemporary favorites were works by Nona Garcia, Alfredo Esquillo and Lara delos Reyes. I see with these two galleries a consistent strive for excellence. I hope it would continue and be reflected throughout the Philippine artscene.

I started to go around Finale first. I remember the very first show by Jason that I helped with at SBW Angono when he was also energetic. It was quite consistently in your face. I admire too that Pablo Gallery at the Fort where he recently showed his exhibition supported him. Installing a beer opener on several large paintings is a touch of insanity that would probably get him off a Cebu Pacific plane. I was starting to browse through Jason’s amazing, f#@*cking irreverent beer paintings when I met two artists based in Los Angeles inviting for their opening at Jorge B. Vargas Museum. They have their show on Jan 14 2010. I will attend to show my support on their efforts to present their works in the Philippines. It was really hard to invite while I was assistant curator at Jorge B. Vargas and I can relate. Tsk tsk tsk. I would probably end up helping installing too. Ha ha ha ha. One was a Mexican-American artist named Camilio Ontiveros and Filipino-Korean-American installation artist Michelle Dizon were quite enthusiastic and quite amiable. Feeling a bit guilty of not showing them around to meet other guests, I took personal charge in making them known to most of the relevant people attending the two exhibitions. I even relayed anecdotes and personal information on some of the pieces. It turned out great and am very happy that I too met some great people tonight. I even had a chance to sound off some established artists for my future proposals. He he he he…
I really liked the atmosphere. I always liked walking the ledge of a precipice. The tension was thick and the anticipation suffocating. The place was thriving on the eve before the Black Nazarene. It was quite surreal. Affluent, social personalities, government officials, critics, collectors, gallery owners and struggling artists mingled and cohabitated. Smokes, lambanog, beer, jutz, and alcohol flowed too freely. Canapé, cheese and wine brought a pleasantly choking taste to my throat several times. This was a night it might happen that I might actually barf. Perfumes where cloying amidst glitters and my rags the time while I was in Nova Gallery that I had to really laugh out. I admire some friends who knew their stand in this art scene yet I sympathized that they could also be overcome and be quite speechless. I didn’t know how to apologize to my friends, rue fates and at the same time be awestruck. LMFAO! We were like butterflies trapped and felt the harsh scrutiny before one would be pinning us under glass.

I was able to speak personally with Manuel Ocampo for the first time and found his personality matches a great deal on how he relates to people and how he looked at his own works and status. I am amazed that we had more to talk about positively and exchanged more than pleasantries. I get a personally signed calling card with his phone number. Hmmmm. I wonder how much it costs in an auction? Ha ha ha ha. Let’s hope it turns out to be a great immersion, more exhibitions and a start of a good collaboration. I ended the night early and begged off going out with them for more drinks. I was in high spirits. Guessed, I was just scared to be disappointed and of too much of a good thing. It was something I could do the next time. I can wait. Patience. I didn’t want to overstay my welcome and I already had more to mull over and write about.
Life is really great! Finally, I called Dennis Elliot, my ISCP director up in New York City on the internet phone and personally thanked him for his recommendation letter. He is a good friend when I stayed in New York City and I appreciate him very much.

Life do change. I have to make decisions that I have to deliberate on my own now. My comfort pillows are gone now. I have to make a big effort and encompass more people. I should not to be overwhelmed by short term results and to make more of the opportunities that come my way. I have decided then to give independent consultations and curatorial a bigger slice of my efforts. I missed my mentors and I missed exchanging ideas. Now, I have to create those and mold them to form greater concepts and present them to artists here and abroad. I have to be much more learned, accountable and a responsible person. I guess it all boils down to what I know, respect and understand.

I also called Margaret Cogswell, my program director in ACC New York, but she was at a meeting. I will just call again when she is free. I wanted to inquire on some details of presenting a proponent’s application for sponsorship abroad. A big project I admire and hopefully would be supported.
I do have to at some point to take charge and direct projects no matter the overwhelming factors and consider the intrinsic value of supporting great exhibitions, good artworks and greater artists with lasting stay. I want always that they be given recognition internationally. I want that for the best.

* * *

Hello Tita Angie and Family,

I know it is the quarter of Bobi’s special time. His Birthday is fast coming this March too. I am sorry that I have been a stranger but I do have to deal with my losses too. I am happy that I am able to share now some thoughts. I am never a confidant but am learning humility , openness and importance of family and friends anew.
The time do make us sometimes forget but when we remember we feel the loss still. It may not be tactile but emotional memories that wrung my heart. He inspired me most to speak out and guided me to where I am now. The Christmas, New Year and Bobi’s death anniversary never passed not noted. Our loss of a good friend and family remains with our hope that Bobi is very much happy with his sojourn. Today is the Black Nazarene. I hope Bobi V is with our creator now very much content to leave the everyday dealings with us. Ha ha ha ha … I can just imagine that they would serve brewed coffee and endless art talks held in rapt court. Though Bobi never was much for his faith with words I know he urges us to be hopeful and overcome hardships throughout our lives. He shares with us every happy moments and supports us in our failures.

Last night, at Mr. Cojuanco’s opening of his collection at the Nova Gallery at Pasong Tamo Extension I was reminded of Bobi V. The simple efforts he made while still with us, the works he arranged and suggested to art buyers, exhibitions that he made possible and the artists he inspired to great goals came to mind. It was amidst the socialites and personalities within who attended the show and drank wine and ate blue cheese that I was brought back to remember how Bobi V was. Aloof… He disdained openings Ha ha ha ha.. He always made me go to every one and made me report every detail and observation much to chagrin of unaware artist having the show. Amidst the government guests, collectors and politics he could have held himself court and deigned to raise his eyebrow to such affluence and trivialities. He could sermon on neglect in art and the lacking of better artists and rued on grandstanding. I helped and watched him arranged some of the pieces shown there now in the collection of Mr. Cojuanco. Santiago Bose works make me cry always. Remembering Neil Doloricon’s exhibition and Nune Alvarado’s painting make me weep. Egai Fernandez work and Bogie Tence Ruiz made me remember anecdotes he said. I know with them remains Bobi V. physically. His touch remains, ideas, sermons and inspirations and care were there. I wanted to touch part of the painting frames hopefully to connect. Sigh… I am thankful again for what ever small effort and grace that abled us to have Bobi V as mentor, curator, friend and family longer. Thank you Angie. I am so happy Bobi gave us this opportunity to be friends and family too. Regards and Happy New Year! I am in Manila nowadays. I would be visiting Bobi V. this week. Take care always.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

A Time for Respite
December 17, 2009, 9:14 pm
****12 18 2009

Am in big for 2010. A lot of my plans are realizing and have been swamped with details. I have plans to travel abroad to Belgium and France (hmmm do I need a visa?), have been swamped with pre-employment details with JPMC– it’s a bank — 2x hmmm?…, have been encouraged to work with several galleries with their exhibitions — working to get there, been invited to a few for my solo exhibitions –just verbal invites. My own works and studies are great for 2010 — in my head. LOL! My plans for solo exhibitions are moving forward. Gaining dust fast! Lastly, my studio plans in my residence is still up! Literally in the air! He he he he! I can’t ask for more. I am happy that these opportunities are happening lately and quite pleased with my hiatus. I am in Manila now for good. I wished though that more of my friends were here with me. A toast to Bobi Valenzuela and Sid Hildawa! I will always remember you guys! A merry year for us all and a second or two to think of friends and family to thank for! Kudos to you my good friends! It is always great to remember people who are important and make it meaningful for you. They remember you and what you did and you remember them. Family matters are fine so I need not worry too much. That comes with getting a stable income and getting insurances with it for my parents. I am committed to that. Take care always of your family.
I have been staying away from some exhibition openings lately, I would like to know more about the emerging artists though. I have been pleasantly surprised that they have been doing well on their exhibitions and been quite visible. It is really a small art scene we have here in the Philippines and very little is not known. I hope we would learn accountability and practice professionalism always. I will be more vocal this coming 2010 and would also be working to organize and coordinate group shows. I am aiming to have shows abroad too.
The Philippines is stronger despite the heavy trials. The successive typhoons, floodings, rebellion, martial law, politicking, volcanic eruptions have taken their toll but not the Filipino spirit. We remain stronger and optimistic always. We have so many things to be proud of. Distinctions that set all of us apart and make us better Filipinos. Those pessimistic people should just stay abroad and immigrate. To hell with you guys! Imfao! He he he he!
We look forward to a new beginning and a new day. The adversaries have been almost insurmountable but true heroes have emerged. I am happy that these unknown supporters help and more than make up for the publicity stunts that few misled ones dare practice –that goes for the art scene in the Philippines too. Talent and hard work pays more that strutting your big fat ass, boring us with theatrics and insecurities around.
There is also a change of concepts and refinements of outdated ones too to look forward. There may be similarities in some but original ideas would also prevail over half baked ones. There might be young artists capitalizing on the changes but they would still have a long road ahead of them. Reprisals will come to haunt you if ever you forget. The older ones would know how to work with their own concepts, bid their time and continue their momentum. Still there are those who settle to prostitute themselves and they will always fall short. It is a cruel fate we have of dog eating dog if you have this attitude of taking advantage and not giving yourself to your artmaking fully. Still, if one would think a few hyped exhibitions, grandstanding, herding into one artgroup, collecting made-up awards, more schooling, auctions and public personalities are all that are important then go for it. It’s a free country. Whatever makes you happy. We are here for the long run. I would always think that here I would retire in the Philippines and paint in my old age. Senility becomes me and if I am still single then I would be happy and be complete. So I would be here too guys. My own works would be here too so make space. Welcome young artists to my world. He he he he.
I am going to the UP Lantern parade tonight December 18, 2009 to enjoy and to touch base where all my young sentiments had started so many years before. Maybe get some fresh air.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

******

Reclining Susan
November 14, 2009, 11:29 pm
****11 15 2009

Today is the big fight of Manny Pacquiao and Miguel Cotto. The streets again would be empty and the lowest crime rate day would again be here. I hope it goes true for Puerto Rico too. We Filipinos would again be joined as brothers and sisters in celebrating greatness and courage. Many people would join us in our celebration of indomitable spirit of these fighters. Regardless of the outcome we will be happy for Manny Pacquiao and happy to be Filipinos. Patriotism is in the air mostly this days. How I wish that everyday we are proud in being a Filipino.

The past few days I have been again going around the galleries for exhibitions and quite satisfied that there are enough activities to merit setting up some documentations and some articles. I am able to work in some new painting to par. I am also getting my mojos back. Ha ha ha ha. I am just happy that I found the upcoming competition for art foremost to mind – quite predictable really. Every artist would want to win the lotto and this is one were odds are lesser.
The years have been kind to me. Even though I have a bulge now and getting ahead of my years. The time by myself gave me the satisfaction to enjoy life to the fullest. My priorities were in question once but I guess I just wanted a taste of walking on my own two feet. Making most choices my own. I am happy that we could again do a better job.

I hesitated in entering the arena lately because of many reasons. I saw that friends did also advance in years but they still remained friends. Other became more. I wanted to prove something to myself then and lately some things just need to be let go. I was getting uncontrollable and inconsolable with my sentiments. Well, we would all be passing through this stage in life. Call it midlife crisis. Kinder still that I didn’t make a big mess out of it. It remains workable. The messes that is. Still, I see am not really alone on this. Many artists have been on a rollercoaster ride. I hope they enjoy the ride. I did. I have come to accept my shortcomings and hopefully be better off for it. It make one’s life memorable when we are faced with trials and we overcame.

I would forever cringe or be guilty with some of my escapades but life is too short for regrets. I did some for good intentions and saw their results. I am happy to be me. Happier that am Filipino and living in the Philippines. Go Manny Pacquiao! You make us prouder with your wins! The seven world titles in 7 weight divisions could only be done by a Filipino!

Life is always a struggle and each one has his or her fifteen minutes of airtime. Let’s be happy and work hard and try to enjoy these brief highs. I am enjoying my many walks. If ever life would make us wander and meet then those time would be recognized and recorded.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

That Fat Friday
November 4, 2009, 6:22 am
***11 05 2009

I am in for a shock really. What is happening to this world? I have been chatting on ym and described myself as 140 lbs to a chat mate and am accused of being chubby… Sigh. I even slashed a few pounds off the total. Still… Am not really vain but I have to eat humble pie with this revelation. I never felt this discomfited before but am not really angry. I am just amused. Lost for words. I do have to groom myself, be more happy and take care of my health better. My room stinks and I have not really been eating healthy. That goes with being single all these thirty something years. I better get a wife quick for the wrong reasons. Ha ha ha ha. I really have nothing to do at home aside from my ” plans to do”. I should take up sports again in a moderate way. Maybe I could be preoccupied then. Maybe some jogging or basketball. I used to take taekwondo and muay thai but I don’t know if I still have the disposition to continue them. I might not have the right incentives to follow through. Boring with little challenge… I’ve been getting spams about healthfood and some reminders from friends to take up krav maga occasionally. I guess they sent them just to bugger me. I always delete them but am leaning to lesser stress sports. Sleeping ha ha ha ha. More relaxation but am getting too much though nowadays. I’ve come to realize that lately with the bulge. Ha ha ha ha… I can blame it on my pregnant sisters. I am just mimicking and reciprocating. Their husbands should get the belly not poor me. I need someone to pamper me less. Pacquiao is fighting on this weight and am sure he doesn’t look chubby at all. I guess no one will be accusing him when he fights this month.

It seems my age is finally catching and so trivial things affect me sometimes… Ha ha ha ha. I used to go out and dress conservatively and still manage to look good. I am into swimming and some marathon. I always joined competitive soccer in my days. Well that was almost twenty years ago. But what the heck I still did some. I should just pack my bags and go to Siargao or Cebu again and live off the sea. Wishful thinking though. I could just pack my bags and head off to Europe then next year and live as a struggling artist. That should be a better option. I could get stringy and beg for food. Then I wont be chubby at all.
With my genes I eat a lot and burn a lot. I walk everywhere and burn some more. I get chubby I admit but I always burn it off as soon as I get to work. Nowadays we get too many young people so obsessed with physical looks that am really bewildered. Did I miss anything at college to be painfully made aware of my looks now and really care about it? Perhaps its the midlife crisis at my age… I am single and not really looking but enjoying life to the fullest and still this bothers me. Ha ha ha ha ha … “Whatever will come I accept?” is my credo. I had to convince this chat mate that am not fat.. Pity really. Am really on the defensive but can’t help but laugh at myself. Get a moderate regimen and a better diet. No more rice for me today and the next day after. Eat only healthy food and be better mobilized. Mhen ! Bummer… What are people eating today that gets them the svelte figures? Hmmmm .. Probably nothing but liquids I bet!

I did read about a sciatic pain that a fellow peer my age was suffering in the depths of hell but I really could not relate yet. Hope it is not really permanent for him. But to describe it as Dante’s Inferno you get the gist that its painful. I did on occasion talk about arthritis with a fellow artist who has higher counts of uric acid. He had to stay at home because he couldn’t move at all. Hmmmm. It sure sounded the same. It should be just dietary precautions though. When you get it though you will suffer from it. It is time again for me to have my measures as I don’t really want my unfortunate struggling life be unbearably immobilizing.
I should get myself some help with exercise then… For the New Year to come am getting leaner and meaner. Perhaps, I should be thankful at least that I get a heads up. Get a better abdomen and more muscles to date for 2010. I did read that some belly is good though for the year 2009. Maybe I should keep some love handles… Hmmmm. But 2010 is another year and I should just think of getting a great one ( six packed abs) for me. More chat mates online. Ha ha ha ha

Am not really bad looking. Just an average guy I guess. I never had complaints before. I had my moments too. They were all good! Am not really sorry about any of them. I guess it just happens.

I am not really looking yet for great gals to live a blissful life with but a better appreciation would do than what I got today. I do get some approvals though on occasion but not really that encouraging fanatic look. I am sure I wouldn’t want that kind of fatal attraction. But come to think of it the actors in the movie weren’t really physically perfection. It gives me hope then. I do have to be on the dating market soon or miss the bus completely. Naaaah. Am enjoying my pursuits. Just continue with my chatting and maybe I could find someone who thinks 140 lbs is not chubby. Maybe have a great time too. I do tend to scare them off first. Ha ha ha ha…
I enjoyed a few exhibitions to date. Going around seems to be a great idea. I had fewer shots with my camera than I did before but am really just looking to enjoy the experience rather than to keep keepsakes of them. The art scene is indeed a dynamic place to explore. The Philippines would be better with these changes. I am at the crossroads too of being in amidst or/and just being an avid observer. I just like to wonder at times. I used to be young and so full of energy. My experiences speak off them. I see the same enthusiasm with the younger artists. There were times that I would have grabbed those opportunities at an instant if they were available in my generation’s time. I would have fought tooth and nail for them. I hope still that the younger ones would see them pass as challenges and be accomplishments of the generations to come. There are grants for 25 and 35 year old artists and I have just too see them pass. I am happy that I could see them now but I hope that others would see their potentials too. Fat Chance!

The air is cooler and Christmas is just around the corner. I’m still stuck here at home. Seems October came through very fast. I should get the move now. Lethargy is me. The only silver linings would be to get myself a blackberry storm, ipod touch, a black jazz honda and an imac. With that I have to sell some works abroad again.. Hmmmm. Not a bad deal really. Still I have to get my visas for Fran Masereel Centrum in Begium for April and May 2010 and France for June and July… Tsk tsk tsk… So many things to do now. Europe here I come chubby or not.
I am happy for “Butterfly’s Tongue” at the Manila Contemporary/ West Gallery by Geraldine Javier, “Into the Woods” at Art Center/Finale by Yasmin Sison and the two man show at Tala Gallery by Froilan Calayag and Dexter Fernandez. I am even amazed by Crucible Gallery’s show by Chitz Ramirez and Blanc Compound’s exhibit by Andres Barrioquintos. I should say that the month of October is a swell time despite the typhoons. It should be a more interesting month for November if I might add to follow.

Let us break it down to details then since am a bit inspired with my efforts on changing the themes on my site and am willing for a discourse.
Geraldine Javier’s series is a good discussion for many years to come. A stroke of brilliance at this time for 2009. She remains unchallenged. You might remember that her works lately are the only ones getting stronger in the market scene despite the catastrophic results of auctions and recessions.
Yasmin Sison Ching did pull it off belatedly with these efforts and quite timely. I hope though her collectors remains strong as she will always be the mirror of her peers. With so many interpretations of naif works lately, hers make a fresh play on realism towards a primal landscape. She works too with sentiments of child’s play but is also quite disgustingly talented.

Both Geraldine and Yasmin appeal together and one should always be around to read the discourses of their exhibitions. They both have the same atmospheric landscapes and too dark an aura — I had the pleasure of meeting these artists and quite privy to some of their emotions. So I will always marvel and keep to myself my thoughts about other things. Ahhh women artists. Ha ha ha ha ha…
Like the two artists before, I always liked discourses and finding it amongst two young ones I have to admit was pleasurable. With the long travel to Tala Gallery one marvels if you still have the time to view the works. Well am surprised and happy that I found this niche showing these pieces together in a two man show. Both Froilan Calayag and Dexter Fernandez play with the spaces of the Tala Gallery. Kudos to both. I heard that the artists arranged the pieces themselves. A pleasure too that they had a good crowd and quite an interesting mix of people.
Chitz Ramirez’ piece at the Crucible Gallery is eye-catching I admit. One would expect a full length movie to be played with all the effort put in but it became a bit like watching auto theft game. It had the lights and good presentation and I marvel the artist on that. It is a good follow up for his body of works.

I should say that I got invited to the show personally and am happy that I did go to see Andres Barrioquintos’ works just to put him in the scene. He is undoubtedly a great artist. His colors and technique has finesse. His play though stays the same. He doesn’t break the mould but goes to the extreme with it. A good collection. A bit reminiscent of another’s pattern and colors though.
There were other shows I did see and found them interesting in their own way. I will see them more and hope to put them up too for scrutiny. There was Don Dalmacio’s at Kaida Gallery and Wawi Navarozza at Silverlens. I missed the Mo Space Gallery and am ruing why I haven’t been there yet. I saw some very interesting pieces on blogs and wanted firsthand to see them. But Alas! I am also interested with the Pablo Gallery at the Fort. I should make the time to see them now. My losses to bear.

I also commend efforts by Project Space Pilipinas artists Carlo Gabuco, Christopher Zamora and Michael Adrao on their successful stay in South Korea. They exhibited at the PlasticFactory Gallery and it went well. They’re back now and raring to go at it. Good show and great catalog. Times are really changing.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

******

****

Blame it on the Moon
October 14, 2009, 7:54 pm
***10 15 2009

I was watching a witch hunt today on a local channel in the Philippines. Quite funny to watch this old newscaster turn red and blue with indignation. She was fumbling with papers and grand gesturing as if it would be a finality. She even doodled with a non working pen as if it meant a thousand words. Let the people in charge do their work. She was trying to pin the blame and I sure no one would accept the blame for these calamities. No one would dare be out of job and responsible for the flooding in all of Luzon. If we could link any government name to the Luzon catastrophe, I am sure we would have done so. It just adds ratings for rambling about theoretically right?

As we all know and have experienced in these trying weeks the onslaught of two typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng, landslides, flooding, and deaths to hundreds of Filipinos trapped around Luzon and the Capital region. The calamity doesn’t stop there as we come to realize that these conditions will be happening again and again. That the land we have our home are worthless under threat of these magnitude of flooding. We haven’t even experienced the earthquakes. I am sure we would be up in arms on the safeguards pretty soon. There will be landslides during rains, There will be flooding during rains and there will be deaths during calamities. Our trash and excuses for our accountability really is for the record. Maybe because it is easier to blame and leave the problem to the government, Pagasa, Redcross and to private philanthropists the bulk. That we have at last some peace before the elections. Mind you, it never ridiculously peaked as before yet. It is easy and laziness to ask for help but it is harder for Filipinos to help ourselves — the right and proper way. Be accountable for whatever another Filipino has done wrong. We never wanted to pick up a thrash that a neighbor threw because it has H1N1 virus so we let the flooding swell until it reaches our own homes. We turn a blind eye if a neighbor would cover and build housings on every available land and reclaimed lands. Maybe everyone is looking to whatever we can salvage to prepare for the Christmas season. It will not be the same for 2009, 2010 and et all. We need people who work together. We would never survive this ordeal if we do not pick up ourselves and start cleaning our acts and the nearest tributaries that we have in our cities. The metro aides have done there cleaning everyday but they would not be able to do anything with the magnitude that the trash is accumulating. No human effort can swell this tide but we can try. No one is coming to clean them until the next typhoon. Believe me it will happen again. I couldn’t really believe the emotions that drive human beings to argue themselves to the grave. Perhaps I am a bit irreverent to my elders but this really does the trick. There is wisdom in our history and there is none in histrionics.

I watched a cable channel about the Matawan Creek swelling up and tides going in from the sea and creating a temporary salt water environment for man eating sharks to swim up and terrorize inhabitants upriver in New Jersey in 1916. They blamed it on the moon.
“Matawan Creek is a creek and partially a tidal estuary of the Atlantic Ocean. It lies in the east central sector of New Jersey across from Staten Island, New York.
During the Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916, the creek was made infamous due to horrific shark attacks on July 12, 1916, occurring 15 miles (25 km) from the ocean. A shark or sharks killed 11-year-old Lester Stillwell and his 24-year-old would-be rescuer Watson “Stanley” Fisher and severely injured 14 year old Joseph Dunn later that same day.
This account, in addition to a number of other shark attacks in the local area, are believed to have been the inspiration for the popular novel Jaws, written by Peter Benchley, who in turn co-wrote the screenplay for the blockbuster film of the same name directed by Steven Spielberg. Benchley was a New Jersey native, and had done research on the Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916 previously.”
Without the knowledge learned many things would not be discovered and applied continuously to better mankind. But what does this have to do about our problems now? I also tried to google recent flooding in Asia and came up with an article in India.
Here is the article dated Oct 04 2009 from Times in India on the day of the full moon:
“After flood, full Moon sparks fear of high tide havoc along coast “
“VIJAYAWADA: Pournami, or the full Moon day, is adding to the gloom along coastal areas. In addition to the flood fear, high tidal waves are threatening habitations along the coast. Sources said tidal waves were virtually pushing flood waters back resulting in greater inundation.

Normally, the flood waters drain out into the sea easily and the impact of flooding is less in areas on the shoreline. However, the full Moon day, which fell on Saturday, is adding to the flood problem.
Though residents are not new to such waves in the sea during full Moon and new Moon days, the floods have added to their woes. They believe Gangamma talli, the sea goddess, turns furious on Pournami and Amavasya days because of which fishermen do not venture into the sea.

“The furious sea is not accepting flood waters, which have already started reaching sea on Saturday morning. It will create more trouble for rescue operations as the flood waters could swerve into new areas if the sea does not take the entire flood waters at once,” said Jayaprakash Narayana, chief executive officer, zilla parishad.
According to experts, more tidal waves would hit the coast late Saturday night in Tenali division in Guntur and Diviseema, where people are rushing to relief centres.”
I really wanted to read about this theory and that someone would be pointing it. But I guess it would be more interesting for me to write about it though. We can blame the full moon last Oct 4 2009 for the calamity building up before, during and after. Let us hope that we would anticipate this phenomenon more seriously. Let us hope that we learn from smaller warnings rather than catastrophic high tides, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, excessive rains, prolonged flooding, typhoons, hurricanes et al. that is why some floods remain in affected areas. Of course trash and overdevelopment are also the problem. Those we can work together. I wonder who would donate their lands for conservation? Prevent themselves from earning profits from mining and properties? I wonder who would plant trees again? We are destroying anything naturally created, We cannot afford to wait for relief goods. Clean your own city first before others would help you. We have basically been getting under the influence of the moon. Going in circles. Ha ha ha ha ha ha and getting crazy on national television. Whining you suck! End of story.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

**********

The Prideth Before the Fall
October 12, 2009, 7:50 pm
***10 12 2009

I am one of those people who can never accept a complement without squirming uncomfortably in fright. Of course for self preservation one could hardly tell. Antagonize me and it just might give me a harder backbone. Maybe through the years I may have controlled my reflexes to a point that I might display an almost poker face and air some disdain. But those where times that I might be steering the topic away from me in the next breath by pointing to anyone else. Maybe giving me a complement would really shut me up if one gets fed up with me talking. Ha ha ha ha. Complements reminds me I am more human and really contrary to it. It is not that I am ashamed about the situation — far from it though. I thrive on it. Humility is a lifelong learning lesson that I promise that I would learn. Anyone would be preening inside if the complement was true and I guess I am just ordinary and an ‘anyone’ to believe it. It is just that I knew myself through the years and never wanted it to easily get to my head because if that happens its just not a pretty sight believe me. It was also that being frank has taught me about comeuppance, commitment and patience. I maybe pretty good at bragging about my accomplishments that I stay away from even mentioning any one of them too often. But yes! I am a good printmaker at one point and a studious curator at a stage in my life but learning takes years and sadly once they are not practiced enough you get rusty. I have the best of mentors and damn proud of them too. I also had the breaks that most would envy. What I make of them though is my responsibility and accountability and no one else’s. My point is that I enjoy learning, to be challenging and always curious about everything that I seem to look good and be good at anything at all. I kept on denying that I didn’t learn that much about curating and consultancy abroad and just have been an artist there on a great tour. But I have been burning brows to make connections and frantically doing my own research about the possibility of being an independent curator. One could have that confidence even in the basic of basics. Maybe I have not really tested my skills and concepts to its sharpest through the years but I know the methods, theories and could easily hone myself to the sharpest if need be. I also had the experience abroad to guide, motivate and help out fellow artists there present their portfolios properly and quite successful at it. I am proud to say. I am always sharp, quite frank and bloody brutal. Skills that I accept but regret that I am very good at. I also have my own pride in my own works that conflict in sharing my ideas at some point when I need to because I need not be a pious artist without getting anything back in all my efforts. I want to see your soul first. Transparencies we leave to priests, actresses, actors government officials and politicians. Well, to each his own. Concepts not wholly explored to one’s satisfactions need not be accountably shared right. Until an artist’s concepts are on canvas literally and shown then he still has control over them. Until one’s artworks are ripe and full then it would just fall on its own weight and importance to be contributed. Enough mooning though. I am just happy that I am networking again and some possibilities are in the offer. I might be going to France and Belgium for a spell on my own steam. I am damn proud if I can accomplish those trips on my own steam and prouder if I can get away on those sojourns for free for half a year. Make it a year. Europe and Germany here I come!
It was just that ordinary month of ‘ber’ and another exhibit opening tonight that I was attending at the Art Center Megamall by a group of young artists quite exuberant about showing larger works through Paseo Gallery’s sponsorship. It was a good idea to have Jonathan Olazo to design the show. Gathering the group together and the works to be delivered on time was another detail a bit lacking though. It was an effort to collate different artists from different backgrounds, ages, and techniques together that made it a novelty still. One would have thought it would be a mixed mash outcome but the format and quality of some of the newer works more than made up for the lack. Plus is! I have a few names to follow through for this year. Ha ha ha… I particularly liked the more in your face works by four of the artists but would just forestall mentioning their names yet, this early on. But I did make a point in thanking them upfront and giving a hands up sign of congratulations. I am prouder in a way on the outcome of some of the young artists that I have been able to follow through the years their growth and changes. I was amazed that early on they have these breaks but I could not be envious since all of us at one point had this opportunity. To stress though that I would still encourage them to be professional enough but still be adventurous in their ideas early on. Taking each challenge as they come. Regretting not doing them at all is far worst than making mistakes on details and excesses. But through the years I still could not help cringed at the gaffs I have made. Ha ha ha ha.
I may be going to NCCA this thursday to look up their inaugural exhibits curated by a good friend Noell El Farol around 5 pm. Jonathan is happy about the place and swears by its accessibility, management and spaciousness… Ha ha ha .. I better go see it. Congratulations on the great wedding! I may be thinking about venturing on consultancy in the long run about residencies and grants for free if I liked very much the artists’ works rather than the artists themselves and not to greatly spaced apart in between. See you guys there. I am open to questions only if you think your good enough for the grants and have the portfolio to blow me off. I bark loudly and I also bite. Just a reminder guys. Ha ha ha.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com

*** visit me also at
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com

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*****

A Curator’s Talk
August 16, 2009, 7:16 am
****08 16 2009

It was drizzling this Sunday afternoon and I was again an hour late. I thought that they could have also started late. Ha ha ha ha. When I arrived, there were a lot of interesting people. This is a great time. Pity Eileen wasn’t in attendance. On second thoughts. I wondered why? I caught a glimpse of other artists and some people at the end that I didn’t know and sat put on the nearest vacant chair. I missed the opening last night again for the many times now. It still was a good idea to come today though. There was an informal talk happening and wanted to catch some ideas and maybe get a broader sense of the atmosphere right now in the Philippine Art Scene. I am sure there were a lot of going ons and plans that I am quite curious about. Hmmmm. Earlier, I heard that the space beside Finale Gallery would soon be a collection museum cum gallery for Charlie C. This is exciting. This person has been collecting the pieces I had seen at most of the better exhibits for almost fifteen years I had been in this art business. I wanted to see them again. If you have the funds buy good works by young artists in their best shows and in ten years time seen and be envious. Turning green. Ha ha ha ha. Sigh. I am happy that the Pasong Tamo Extension Makati warehouses are now viable spaces for both art collectors and art galleries. Business is booming again. I am hoping that artists now would also set up shop here for their own larger studios. What a great place to go visit from time to time. I want also to set up in the future a space along these lines probably along this road too. Sigh . Wishful thinking though. Going back to the talk.

I wanted to hear the curator of the exhibit Ronald Achocoso speak about the ongoing show at Manila Contemporary. I wanted to see other curators and writers there. When I arrived, I caught sight of some works and wanted to go around but since the talk has been going on for an hour or so I wanted to hear at least some of the gist. Chabet was asking a question about an artist cum curator’s prerogative on exhibiting his own works. Hmmm. Tacky question. One could do so but one’s responsibility and ethical decisions would be questioned outright. Further it should border on the added work’s importance to the whole exhibit concept. A curator should guide the exhibit and treat each artists’ work as one would handle one’s own piece. This exchange went on as the owner Valentine supported quite rightly that one should not be afraid of the stronger works as they complement the whole exhibit. Or about an artist curating his own exhibit like some artists in the 60’s cited by Chabet who successfully pulled it off. Rightly so, as Achocoso had a piece in the show of an exhibit he curated. Double whammy.

The show I could see was an effort though. I like several pieces on their own. The pieces by Louie and Ching were a bit out of place. Pacquing was a good solid piece all on its own. I thought Trek’s was a lot of hard work of assemblages of paint painstakingly shaped and sized. Chabet’s piece was just great. (I took a picture of the framed piece on the floor reflecting the neon and nylon string overhead). Poklong’s piece was reflective. Tan and Ilarde’s individual pieces would find that one has to contemplate hard. Bacolor’s was stacking. Ringo’s was obstructive and Reamillo’s was predicted. I also found that I hated collaborated works with your own grade school students. I am happy about the show as a gauge. But a bit disappointed with some of the outcome of the works. Tsk tsk tsk tsk.

The talk went on. I decided that I would look at the works now while other topics were discussed. I couldn’t help grinning when certain topics about the National Artist came up. It is always presumed that the distinction is awarded to a Filipino Citizen and not to one who is an immigrant. I wonder if one could hold his head up for that award if the artist and rightly accept it if one is processing immigrant papers, is being petitioned or had expressed himself or herself to be willing to be a citizen of another country. Would dual citizenship be eligible for a National Artist Award? If one is a citizen of another country does he or she have a say on criteria of National distinctions? There are laws on condemning, critical rallying and expressing subversive views and sentiments while one is in a foreign land. Hmmmm. I wonder how the Philippines would fair in a sensitive situation like this. The Philippine art scene is indeed a phenomenon. We have the talents and the art. We have the resources and the education. We have the critical thinking and passions. We are active and creative. Perhaps a boom is in the offing. China has shown potentials to support its artists and galleries. It has opened Hong Kong scene and Mainland China to the international scene. The recession has just temporarily brought a halt to China’s expansion yet they are committed to the hilt by this early time. There is no going back for them. Watching the structures they have already created for their arts is a great marvel indeed. The Philippines is just as dynamic if not with greater talents and better artists.

I decided I would watch this good situation unfold and hold my card close. Very, very close.
I went around with new acquaintance Agnes L. and Eugene T. to some of the galleries around. It was Sunday so most would be closed. I asked if they saw the Ateneo Art Awards 2009 and they said they did. Something unsaid about the concepts and another artist there picked my curiosity. They were liking what they saw. It was not much with the 13 Artists though. They couldn’t get away to fast. I wondered what disappointed them there. Ha ha ha ha. We talked about some current artists potentials that I would like to leave out for another write up. I really wanted to bring up some of my artists. Ha ha ha ha. I do have some up I really like to work with again and invite to work with me. I just didn’t want them to nix it. I will have to do some more research on Osage Gallery. They were only here for a few days and they were flying back tomorrow. It’s great that Eugene would be coming back and staying put. We set probable projects to work on. I still hesitated on giving out too many of my own artists that I work with. But that could be arranged if the project proposals would work with a great exhibit plan. Am more excited for them though. Now, all I need is to collect comprehensive Filipino Artist Resumes for my own files preferably updated. I can’t wait to finish my compilations and my concepts shows. Sigh. Time is indeed getting longer when one is excited about the future projects to be had.

It was great to talk with fellow curators and exchange ideas. I admire that Ronald Achocoso would do a better representation through writing, curating if not to exhibiting. I had some time to talk with Chabet and exchange some pleasantries and news. Chabet kept on joking I had a world all on my own. Ha ha ha ha. I knew it had to have an underlining meaning. I very much respect Chabet for being a great teacher in my college days. He has been instrumental for a lot of changes in my ideas and concepts. He has been a contrast and complement at the same time for my education. He was in agreement that the role of a curator is to guide the exhibit and to present the works and concepts in the best possible light. He is a good curator and I wish him the best always..
Agnes asked me who amongst Chabet’s group would be continuing curating. I said that Nilo Ilarde and Gerry Tan were good candidates. Achocoso would be a good addition. I hesitated saying my name. Amiel Roldan. I can say that I could handle the job very easily. Hahahahaha. You don’t say that to acquaintances just yet. Sigh. Ha ha ha ha. Ringo Bunoan is a good contender. I added that she writes well and coordinates better. I added that Jonathan Olazo needs to work on finetuning just about everything but he does have the resources and the time to do it.

I knew Agnes’ gallery abroad. I have been hearing a lot about the space and its artists. Too much second hand information. A lot were colored. But since I am not inclined to any sides yet and no intention of entering the fray this early. I could just enjoy the projects without taking any commitment. It was just that I wasn’t here in Manila for a few years now and had not the opportunity to be first hand with the issues. I am meeting a lot of people now with my four months stay in Manila and have enjoying the exhibits. I would catch up easily. Well now, its great that I had taken the time and that there was an event for me to talk with these people. Hopefully we could work further. I hear their artists were great and some of them were friends. I am getting excited about the events again. Sigh. I wanted to confirm some questions about past events and past issues but it was not the time. Ha ha ha ha. Pity.
It would be an interesting year for me. I got off at the next junction and bade my new friends good bye. He he he he. Till next time. They were off to a meeting with their artists at Adriatico Cafe in Cubao. Good luck!

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

A Close Call
August 16, 2009, 7:16 am
***January 24, 2003

Finding again one’s first steps could be a bit disconcerting when faced by the enormity and pressure of an unfinished chapter. It is for those that are trying to come back and fire up the died down embers of the assumed abandoned prestige that brought this musing into paper. For most, there might never have been a career to comeback to and for some, well, better know how to eat the tasteless humble pie. The responsibilities of being an artist never really ends when one lays down one’s paintbrush to face another task e.g. a blissful marriage or when one just realize he is scrapping bottom and looks for the McDonald’s monthly paying crew job or when one can’t afford anymore the price of an aesthetic opium or when the cerebral masturbation fails even to raise the banner. Whatever the reason once one is convinced that there will always be the insurmountable obstacles or when one has really no talent to convince even himself and no time to do the essentials to improve oneself in ideas then he could just as well have a change of career permanently.

Ones responsibility falls beyond ones expectations and projection as we realize our purpose for ourselves, our audiences and our art.It might be intangible at first but artists through ages sought these muses of ideas and concepts. It is almost only at a richman’s leisure that art prospers but what price it brings when history, cultures and traditions are built from them. When other great art flourishes because of these great pasts. It never really stops when one breathes in this aesthetic essentials.
Let me make my a stand as an individual of interest yet guided by integrity to share my art.
When the Thursday talk at Kulay Diwa Galleries continued last January 23, 2003 it was then that we remembered the great artist Santiago Bose. We were able to see the CNBC Asian Interview of this great artist as he bantered ideas and concepts with his host. What is the purpose of an artist but to be what is truly himself, his humanity? What is his goal but to awaken the sentiments of his people on the wrongs done to them? What is the artist life but to share andlive life to the fullest. What are the symbols to remember in artist’s but his own home address?

Noel Soler Cuizon was another interviewee and as humble to his accomplishments and to his verbal and aesthetic fluency as another great artist matured in himself and his artmaking. With these artists as pathfinders to follow one could only marvel at the potentials of Philippine art.
We ended a long day with another promise to come back to relive these beautiful people and their art again onanother day.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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******

After the Mourning
August 10, 2009, 8:30 pm
***08 10 2009

The day started clear as the blue sky. It was time go on the routine rounds and start writing again. Everything seems to come out with a new lease in life. I appreciated that I am alive, healthy and physically able. It was something basic that I could share hopefully with others.
I just came from Erik Sausa’s 2nd solo exhibit at Blanc Gallery Makati titled “Pretty Vacant.” This was the first art exhibit I have been to after almost three weeks of resting – idleness is a state of mind and body that I am being adept at nowadays. I enjoyed the respite and the new perspective from the eventful months of July and early August 2009. The last SONA of the President, the stable state of the Philippines despite the continuing recession in America, flooding and typhoon “Kiko affecting thousands,” the death of President Corazon Aquino and another hint of conspiracy theory of “hidden wealth” were all in the headlines. Sigh… Some are really predictable especially nearing the elections of 2010. I would not like to tackle the National Artists Award since I am of mind for the giving of the distinctions and not retracting it, hankering for and relegating it to the mundane politics of squabbles.

I still struggle to hope that some of these eventful images would again reflect in timely contemporary exhibits even in pun. In tasteful, sincere and reflective observations but I was hoping for naught. “Alas!” we will just have to wait some more. Perhaps the Filipino artists are as captivated just watching news and acting it out on the streets just like everyone.
Let us get back to the opening exhibit of painter Erik Sausa. We have been waiting for the right venue for this artist and Blanc Gallery Makati suits him to a “T.” I found the exhibit a bit wanting but enjoyed the space, images and the crowd. His works progressed early on to larger pieces and on a much playful tone. I was looking for the exhibit notes but had to be content with only the titles to hint on the images presented by this artist like “The Riddle of the Sphinx” as a conceptual throwback from an earlier work and a portraiture in “Sid Viscous” – a play on iconic band culture. This artist from Angono is just starting his solo shows and seems to be on the right track of retelling his version of the journey. He has been very active with collaborating with young artists for the past few years. The diversity and dynamism seems to have rubbed on as his works have matured enough with the current edge. There is that guessing game of appropriations and of negating spaces that leaves the audience wanting to ask “why.” Seeing the bombardment of images in an unlikely perspective just leaves us more perplexed and caught up hoping the next answer to the riddle would be on the next painting.

The months of July and August seem to be the test for the Philippines. They had marked changes hopefully for the better. They had also signaled storms to contend with and the ever distractions of Philippine politicking. The Zambales flooding has been overshadowed by propaganda and nit pickings. The stable economy has been overlooked by pessimism. The triumph of Philippine Democracy belittled by grandstanding. The death and mourning was played for the ratings game. It probably would continue with the hidden wealth speculation now. The funny thing though is that everything seems to happen too in the Philippines. Speculations would now fly as to why one could profit in times of recession that even other countries failed on. If you’re an economist then you would know how to profit, right? Let hope the coming days would end up clear too.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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*** visit me also at
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******

Reminiscing and Other Thoughts

2011-05-11T02:12:00.000-07:00

05112011
Wednesday

I have been looking around the house and couldn't find my passport. Sigh. Well I guess I will eventually find it when I cleaned up my room. I've done a bit of cleaning and some laundry. What I would give for someone to pick things up around the house... Hehehehe. Marriage is a complicated thing. Nah! Not yet ready. Maybe not in this lifetime.

I guess it is a time for me to reminiscent and think of my options. I also need to think on reevaluating what I have and what I lost during this time of self-hiatus. I admit I have neglected my works for the past few years. I was too complacent. Never again. I am married of some sorts to whatever I want to accomplish in life.

Nowadays, am eyeing settling down taking care of the house and family but a change happened with a family death and I will have a different priority now. Myself. I want to accomplish a lot and have more to work for now. I want a stable work for the rest of my life and something to show for to boot. I want all the material things hehehehehehe. Good health of course. Am getting a condo, am likely to travel abroad, be promoted, continue a grand career in the arts, maybe my own family and to renovate our house as a studio at Mandaluyong. This is life I guess. writing blogs and thinking grander thoughts. I couldn't ask for more.

I have been walking around thinking life is so routine but am inspired now to pickup the pieces and move on. Taking care of one's health could be taxing. Just take it day by day from now on.

I am excited about my new rubbercut prints, commissions, curatorials and a prospect to have a residency again. Whatever happens I will make them work. I also want to retire of old age not looking back and scrapping for food and cover over my head. Working for a company has enforced that. I have my dreams and I want them to work for me. Maybe dress up to suit myself. Been shabby for the most part. I couldn't live it down that I may neglect health and some comforts. I have bad eyesight so might have corrective surgery soon. Sorry guys that my blog became a listing of sorts. But to commit oneself you have reality to face and be at peace with. It might be that in twenty years I might be facing illness and poor health. Hereditary conditions runs in my family so no time to waste, I guess.

Prayers are always answered and heard. What we accomplish in this life is important too. Family and friends are what inspires us to share and to improve. Create those moments and grab those opportunities but be guided by what is proper and right. We only live once.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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Older But Not Wiser this Sunday

2011-05-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

05082011
Sunday

I figured now is the time to write again. Something to think about on this eventful day of another Manny Pacquiao awakening !!!! Congratulations Manny on being floored !!! Referee and opponent Mosely stinks !!! 12 rounds and going strong but not strong enough to knockout a good friend down on even grounds!!!! This time Manny gives another person a career and billing lights in keeping Sugar Shane Mosely up and not down.

I visited an exhibit of an artist friend Jonathan Ching at Blanc Mandaluyong and it was so so. Ching is already a veteran of exhibits locally and abroad. Quite a feat really. He has the sophistication and experience of an older artist with a time proven formula. Discipline and tenacity. Add a bit of sugar still it was a bit too bland.

I guess the deal was did Jonathan Ching get his act right on time? We get older and sometimes wiser just riding the waves and not going against it. It will be a comfortable ride from here on then. It is years of complacent struggle that we kinda fall prey to. I understand the works and like the idea of assemblages but on periodic colors and coffee table settings. It was a tad to safe... Where is the brand of anger and struggle in his paintings? But I guess jolly Jonathan Ching will never be that. He would opt to fold papers and metals on his spare time. Where is the hunger, unpredictability and indignity sometimes an artist goes through? It will never be a terrible painting but it could not dislodge the sense of security on status he now enjoys as a mature artist with nothing to prove. Nice guy and nicer paintings I would say.

Heck! I have seen a lot of these in my days and guess would be seeing more through the years if I could not help it. Reminds me of settling down barefoot with a string apron tied around the waist. If he wasn't male I would say it was done by a barefoot pregnant woman. An older matronly friend could relate I would guess. Stitching is the way to go nowadays. Hahahahaha! Hope he sees the light of day and throws away his mittens and bite the bullet hard. Getting wearily hitched might just be around the corner but likely a detrimental thing to everything a wild, weird and wasted artist could do.

It's like Pacquiao's latest fight today which I saw via live streaming. It was an older man who has it all against an older man who is about to lose it all. The fight was a gentleman's fight so you would expect it not to be a crowd pleasing fight.

Early on the third fight you get to know that Manny Pacquiao could easily turn it to a memorable fight with knocking Shane Mosely down with finesse. But one just have to wait after knocking him down until the 12th round. Please the paying crowd. Of course please a sparring partner's ego. There was no follow through. Who could really fight a good friend unless this friend pushes you down on the ring, on the 10th round? You then realize you were too complacent and not doing your job right.

But who would Manny Pacquiao listen to nowadays that he has his accolades, band of brothers, great respect and adoring fans who look up to him as god given talent. It's a higher ground he stands on and not many could be eye level with him despite him being quite small.

Now everyone likes drama to a degree and when you get that high you sort of want it to always happen. That is always the public. You compromise your standards and "wham !" it will just hit you that your an idiot to a degree. I have expected more and yet saw very little in the fight. The thought of Manny Pacquiao being booed by the crowd who wants always blood, pushed by his opponent on live broadcasting and having to stand fight again was his own private hell magnified. Recognizing it not a fight with his opponent only but a stinking referee who ignored a right and made a huge blunder on showing his bias to public record. We will hear more as the days to come. But that is the difference there. Manny Pacquiao has his belts and his gloves to fight his life. Artists have their canvasses and their pleasing audiences.

I was at PSP today for a sneak preview of the exhibit "Blackgate" for Caloy Gernale's and Tristram's supported venture. I guess this time am speechless and floored even just seeing just a few pieces. I am going to the opening even if Manny Pacquiao crosses my path and beats me up Hahahahahahaha...

On a sadder note. Am still grieving the loss of a parent and yet I am relieved now that I did my best through the years of uneventful hiatus and despite sacrificing my artmaking for working in a bank... But am proud I still have my razor teeth intact. Till next time though.

P.S. New bigger exhibit spaces are here to stay and new younger artists will always show their mark. Kudos to empowerment in the Philippine Art scene. Just prove them that you have the staying power to last the 12th round with hardly a scratch on your face. Get Manuel Ocampo to scratch your back and maybe add a doodle or two. Just maybe you could be made. Hahahaha. Hatton better get a new face as you have an axe to grind with Manny Pacquiao. Too scared to get in the ring again I guess. Me am just shitless. My mojos are back. Care to dance with me?

What to expect this week. I am going to MC on the 14th of May to wave the Philippine flag. This will be a great show of challenging artists and older challenging artists. Be speechless for a week though. Have to see this event by Tin-aw Gallery feat MC.

MONUMENTAL

in partnership with
Manila Contemporary

May 14 - May 29, 2011

Mike Adrao
Plet Bolipata
Elmer Borlongan
Antipas Delotavo
Alfredo Esquillo Jr.
Mark Justiniani
Joy Mallari
Ferdie Montemayor
Maya Munoz
Jose Santos III

More power to co-producing the better shows.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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When You Get Sick

2010-07-16T01:30:00.001-07:00

07162010

I don't know how it started but this week seems to top all. I just got better from sore throat a week ago and now a few days ago I was diagnosed with hypertension with a whooping 180/110... Am OK. I guess since twice I was discharge from ER without a scolding. It kinda puzzles me though about the irregularities... I will be under maintenance from now on. I should bring my own blood pressure test device though the next time. I just got twice in ER a 130/90 even without rest today only after a few minutes travel to and fro.

Children get sick and Adults too I guess now. If I push too much I get bad health. If I pace it my performance suffers then. A balance in life. Now, I understand more the idea of too many things and so little time. It kinda flashes by too quickly. The idea of burning candles and what other things you haven't done in life. I'm delving in the regrets so I'll keep it short. I got a long sermon from the company doctor about maintenance and healthy living at my age of 38. Quite an earful but you have to be serious for once in these kind of events. Take care of yourself always as you also take care of others around you. You should always treasure the moments you lived a carefree life and I guess that would have to be cut short now. Tsk tsk tsk. Life is too brief. You make all your best efforts and hopefully you will make the best mark in life and others.

Am sorry for the babbling though people. It's just that I couldn't keep away from the internet without writing something on this extraordinary week for me. I am learning though again in a slightly painful way that in the end you keep only the things you started with. I also learned to cherish the moments of my life more everyday.

What would one keep when his/her health is failing? Money? Photographs? Books? Art? Car ? Titles? or Clothes? Everything would be useless until the end and quite so trivial. Imagine expending your last breathe haggling the price down. Ha ha ha ha ha... That is a question for us all. Even without monetary gain I would always keep good art with my best. I think of my works as family too in a weird way.

It cascaded the next few days to become more surreal. Dad just had a heart attack last night amidst the brownout that caught up the whole of Luzon for more than 12 hours. He will be confined in ICU for the next five days. He is stabilizing now and in good hands but this comes as a blow on a great year for all of us. He has the best doctors and quite energetic. He has more sleep now as he will be sedated I guess in ICU for the duration of his stay there. Everything is quite better. He has medications for his blood sugar levels and attention to the minutest pain. Good ole Dad! My health card would cover some only. Time will tell. It will probably be only the consultations if worse get to be the case. Am still working out the kinks for more percentage. Company rules that seem alien to me a few years back is quite common and negotiable to me now. I am now in a corporate world too. Juggling so many things is quite hard but not impossible. Mom was totally left out of the deal though. Because of their age now mom just missed getting a health card for the year and dad only has the last 3 months to have his. Luck places a great deal but it is quite unpredictable. I always believe that Lady Luck has always been by my side.This has become a test of something we could extend and go beyond ....prayers, beliefs, reassurance, help and a supportive family we should never have to do without. Missing just one could be a great ordeal. Not that anyone is critical but that we could always remember to make your choices count with the right supportive people around you.

When you get sick bad? Who do you want to be there with you?

Everyone were initially joyous of the birth of Joaquin and Juan Iñigo but caring for growing babies in reality is full time job with no holidays for years to come. Congratulations to the new moms and dads. But I will say this, a child's smile and laughter is precious and a joy to hear even in the most angst state.

I am enjoying very much my stay at my new company. It became a bit like numbers when one would balance performances, the perfect attendance and try to get more sleep in. I tried thinking of all the ifs' but could never put anything against working a good living in perhaps the best company for me. Never mind that I am again regressing. I enjoy working with the arts in a more conducive and pre-planned setting... Why not get the best then at this time? Get a healthcard to boot to while your at it. Life is also too short to limit what you can learn and do even in the grand old age of 38.

Choices are subjective so I'll just say what I made were best for me now. It might keep me anchored longer since this revelation.... Appreciation and Loyalty places one's affection to a piece of company logo unwittingly. Sigh.... Ha ha ha ha. I am just thinking of staying put now and painting away in the Philippines...

P.S. I saw a good exhibit amidst all of these though. An ongoing sculpture show at the Deutche Bldg at the Fort. I am guessing it is by Sajid Imao too as there was a great fanfare when the huge opening happened. I have a hard time getting in though as these were reserved for VIP. Security and everything falls short on aesthetics. Tsk tsk tsk. Good job on the new sculpture infront of the building Sajid!

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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The Painter in Me

2010-07-16T01:27:00.000-07:00

07092010

It was the night of Usher's concert in the Philippines... I wonder what all the fuss is about? I have two tickets here and my relatives are going tonight. I guess am not going this time. I feel like I couldn't party anymore hehehehe...Let's call it uneventful. I'll just leave it for the younger generation and all their pent up energy.

Going to an exhibit opening tonight and later to work... Alas! I broke a cardinal rule not to show the pictures but I can't just let it be for the opening night... I was itching to post the pics last night and early this morning but I guess this hour would just be on time. Am excited about seeing the opening at Finale Art File. They were setting up when I caught a long glimpse and I have some pictures to show to boot. I get to talk with fellow up friends and hang out again... It was a long break for me from work and just about a good time of the year... to watch a great exhibit. Just reminiscing about the works. It takes a different breed of artists to pull a megawatt show! Let's just see if it sticks.

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

*** visit me at
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At the Front of the Line

2010-03-14T03:41:00.000-07:00

03 12 2010

I guess being patient has its advantages. I have never been complacent to wait. I always have to have a finger in every pot and quite literally. I sometimes meddle in my own way and am quite irreverent. I don't know why I have this streak of immaturity. Call it "brashness" but I've come to live with it.

I wonder about all the beautiful things that one could posses and I stick to simpler and uncomplicated ones.... Ha ha ha ha .. A night out and it was at six am that I got home to rest. I just am not convinced that one should have no goals, no dreams or settle for anything less. Most of the time am this dependable person but then it gets to be routine and I just have to find that streak of stupidity to tap on. The only good side of that is when it gets worse am really relaxed. I hope I don't get sick about it though. It has its ups and downs.

I was forever in training for the past three months on an on the side job... Ha ha ha .. I aim to work still but quite amused that I just did it and committed myself to the effort. Hmmm... Am probably searching for some greener grass and other topics of life I guess.

I was like starting an Iwagami tank. You have to be relaxed and stress free when you embark on this meditational hobby. You create a surreal world behind a water glass. If life were to end today I would be content and happy to leave everything. I guess there are plans that are materializing still and people that could be built a fruitful relationships with. Alas! It just has to wait and accept somethings are just not going to happen soon. I got to talk with a former alumni at the University. I got the impression that even with family and a simpler life one could not be content enough for himself. If I had to live his life, I would just savor what I have and be more optimistic. I guess one could be paranoid through the years when one gets older but am never been one to be scared about reality. I am only scared of scary movies because I let myself be open to senses to emotions around me and on what could be imagined. But after that one could sleep a sound one without any bad dreams. I am that person who would not avoid confrontations, of putting oneself on the line, of seizing the day and being just me -- out of fear of being bored to death with not doing anything. My greatest fear is to always wonder.

I am perennially inclined to just strike out on a whim, hunt and go for it tenaciously out of sport. I wanted none to regret about but I never regretted that I don't do vices. They were just not fun at all without reality and your senses intact. The outcome is worse too when you get the repercussions in relationships, opportunities, health, sanity and consciousness. There were to many at stake that I could live in simplicity not without.

The kids (nieces and nephews only...Tsk tsk... Ha ha ha ha) are growing up and I can't wait to see them all with their own personality. I am rueing the teenage angst though... emo trips and et al...Tsk tsk tsk... I would want to see them decide on life but that curiosity stretches too thin when it is against your own dreams. Life is just a combination of circles. One would end up on top eventually and one would be lower too on the next turn.

I guess one could say am at the front now- age wise, experience and maturity to boot. I am going to decide again where I want this few years to be devoted on. Something I have put back because I wanted to wait to do them when am gray with age. Since am hereditary inclined not to get them, I guess I can't wait anymore. I am taking installation and sculpture to another level for me.

I went to a fellow artist's exhibit at Blanc Mandaluyong and found the works capable.Hmmmm. Safe... I am afraid we will have a new addition to painterly realism to booth. Accentuating some with objects worked but on itself they did not. I guess one could say that one wall should have been left alone. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. There were few visitors for this night but I guess most would be away. It was the night before Pacquiao vs Cottey and a weekend sale too. We could do away with the wider spaces between and the almost measured distance. The aircon did their havoc again. It could be avoided but still it was distracting that night. It was a grand exhibit for Jonathan Ching. Layout point was more than competent. A good night still. Congratulations.

For the record, I am not Whatswrongwiththeartscene?... I don't know him or her but I would say this. Kudos! Am wondering on some of your tact and on why didn't I think of that? Just be patient and let things fall into place.

I just missed my chance to see Mo Space again...and of course Chabet's... Tsk tsk tsk. But this was a time for friends. By the way Ghe you look great last night! Ha ha ha ha... I didn't get to talk with you and I miss all my college buddies.

The UFO I also missed last night but I get to have a Blanc shirt... Thanks and more power to Blanc Gallery...