At the Front of the Line

03 12 2010

I guess being patient has its advantages. I have never been complacent to wait. I always have to have a finger in every pot and quite literally. I sometimes meddle in my own way and am quite irreverent. I don't know why I have this streak of immaturity. Call it "brashness" but I've come to live with it.

I wonder about all the beautiful things that one could posses and I stick to simpler and uncomplicated ones.... Ha ha ha ha .. A night out and it was at six am that I got home to rest. I just am not convinced that one should have no goals, no dreams or settle for anything less. Most of the time am this dependable person but then it gets to be routine and I just have to find that streak of stupidity to tap on. The only good side of that is when it gets worse am really relaxed. I hope I don't get sick about it though. It has its ups and downs.

I was forever in training for the past three months on an on the side job... Ha ha ha .. I aim to work still but quite amused that I just did it and committed myself to the effort. Hmmm... Am probably searching for some greener grass and other topics of life I guess.

I was like starting an Iwagami tank. You have to be relaxed and stress free when you embark on this meditational hobby. You create a surreal world behind a water glass. If life were to end today I would be content and happy to leave everything. I guess there are plans that are materializing still and people that could be built a fruitful relationships with. Alas! It just has to wait and accept somethings are just not going to happen soon. I got to talk with a former alumni at the University. I got the impression that even with family and a simpler life one could not be content enough for himself. If I had to live his life, I would just savor what I have and be more optimistic. I guess one could be paranoid through the years when one gets older but am never been one to be scared about reality. I am only scared of scary movies because I let myself be open to senses to emotions around me and on what could be imagined. But after that one could sleep a sound one without any bad dreams. I am that person who would not avoid confrontations, of putting oneself on the line, of seizing the day and being just me -- out of fear of being bored to death with not doing anything. My greatest fear is to always wonder.

I am perennially inclined to just strike out on a whim, hunt and go for it tenaciously out of sport. I wanted none to regret about but I never regretted that I don't do vices. They were just not fun at all without reality and your senses intact. The outcome is worse too when you get the repercussions in relationships, opportunities, health, sanity and consciousness. There were to many at stake that I could live in simplicity not without.

The kids (nieces and nephews only...Tsk tsk... Ha ha ha ha) are growing up and I can't wait to see them all with their own personality. I am rueing the teenage angst though... emo trips and et al...Tsk tsk tsk... I would want to see them decide on life but that curiosity stretches too thin when it is against your own dreams. Life is just a combination of circles. One would end up on top eventually and one would be lower too on the next turn.

I guess one could say am at the front now- age wise, experience and maturity to boot. I am going to decide again where I want this few years to be devoted on. Something I have put back because I wanted to wait to do them when am gray with age. Since am hereditary inclined not to get them, I guess I can't wait anymore. I am taking installation and sculpture to another level for me.

I went to a fellow artist's exhibit at Blanc Mandaluyong and found the works capable.Hmmmm. Safe... I am afraid we will have a new addition to painterly realism to booth. Accentuating some with objects worked but on itself they did not. I guess one could say that one wall should have been left alone. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. There were few visitors for this night but I guess most would be away. It was the night before Pacquiao vs Cottey and a weekend sale too. We could do away with the wider spaces between and the almost measured distance. The aircon did their havoc again. It could be avoided but still it was distracting that night. It was a grand exhibit for Jonathan Ching. Layout point was more than competent. A good night still. Congratulations.

For the record, I am not Whatswrongwiththeartscene?... I don't know him or her but I would say this. Kudos! Am wondering on some of your tact and on why didn't I think of that? Just be patient and let things fall into place.

I just missed my chance to see Mo Space again...and of course Chabet's... Tsk tsk tsk. But this was a time for friends. By the way Ghe you look great last night! Ha ha ha ha... I didn't get to talk with you and I miss all my college buddies.

The UFO I also missed last night but I get to have a Blanc shirt... Thanks and more power to Blanc Gallery...



Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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