amiel roldan blog

January 8, 2000 As you bloom in youth all I could is but hold on, From a sight that brings spasms of wanting; In times that make me seem so old and feel my age, A manipulating crone of bestial needs; Ever helpless in this emotion that awakens; To need the moments I could be touched, by your gaze of promises and caresses of want. To believe as if you feel the same passions; But to know that this, Is but a fleeting and all lying truth. * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com

I feel the tight pain; As if I could not swallow, Watching the movements of a dance; That I know I could not follow, Steps that I don’t dare take; A path not dared to thread, Abandonment all too real; Loneliness and despair, In all these miseries I wallow. July 30, 2000 Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com * * * Ang Huling Hari Amiel Roldan Aking nararamdaman ang mahigpit na sakit; Parang hindi ako makalunok, Habang pinanunuod ang sayaw, na alam kong hindi ko masusundan. Mga hakbang at unday na ikinatatakot ko; Isang daaning hindi-hindi ko mapupuntahan, Kawalan ay totoo; Kalungkuta

To Be Amiel Roldan I could not be, ‘Til your by me Until I satisfy and immerse you In my web of warmth and deceit! January 8, 2000 Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com * * * Maging Amiel Roldan Hindi ako magiging buo Kung ika’y wala sa akin. Hangga’t di ko nasasagad at nailulubog kita Sa aking sapot ng init at pagkukunwari! July 28, 2002 * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profi

March 2000 I glance at a reflected image, only to see the imperfections of life. To glimpse at a simple reality, through eyes of a silent watcher. Complex is man that he weaves a pain so consuming, To bring out a cry from the depths of his soul. Only to understand the thin layer of fulfillment, He has already thrown away. I saw a bitter truth in the eyes of my peers. Helplessness with what we have. The ever singleness of defeat. Multiplicity in all our failures. Never would I ask for what they could not give. For I could not bring them to the lows I’ve been. All the questions unanswered and all the answers unheard, Warp not the image I have for I am weak. To run from these that reminds me of my misery To seem to go in dizzying circles. Repetitious upheavals in the minutest turns. Uncomfortable in all its being. The smallest I hold precious to my heart, and the greatest I could never let go. They are all my rivets of my calm, that anchors me solid to ground. A nodule of paranoia. A c

Chaos The God Amiel Roldan Be one with chaos to find the true, Be one with anger to find the happiness, Be good to see evil. December 6, 1999 Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at ChatGPT Amiel Roldan at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com P.S. A friend posted this disclosure. I am willing to try it out. Warning: Any person and/or institution and/or Agent and/or Agency of any governmental structure including but not limited to the United States Federal Government also using or monitoring/using this website or any of its associated websites, you do NOT have my permission to utilize any of my profile information nor any of the content contained herein including, but not limited to my photos, and/or... the comments made about my photos or any other "pictur

April 12, 2000 I found in a difference; And it discovered me, In it's light I found something dark, While the darkness blinded me. Traitor it called me A liar and a thief. Crying out with wonder my heart leaped, And my soul fell. To kill and maim? Like a frightened stray of shadows, A would be a master in glory and a slave in defeat. A curse to who says the dark doesn’t blind and in its twin, one is never defeated. In both one could be blind and in both one could be lost forever. * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at http://www.facebook.com/miel.roldan at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com P.S. A friend posted this disclosure.

January 29, 2000 The dew breaks the early morn; After a night of slumbering snores, The cascading darkness splits to rise; Whenever the mist touches, A river seems to beckon; Reckoning the nights dues. * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at ChatGPT-4 Amiel Roldan at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com

March 19, 2000 Beneath the passion of youth, Empty the water flowing stagnant. Bring out the mist of stench and cross the burning path. The light shining ever so bright. A banner and torch held aloft. Burning eyes that stir the soul and moves the heart, Speaking the words that raptures, bestirring the geysers of the ever-patriotic soul. A thin filament that lights and sparks, would shatter on echoes unheard. Vanity set aside, from iron roots and earthly heritage, grovel my sons and daughters not. * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com

January 8, 2000 In the lightest of gestures I see so much meaning; That I could only hold until, A fiery blast so consumes me; a shortness of breath to gasp air, unfocused eyes and throbbing breast; deep sojourns and tall peaks, From a mountain and to a grave; From the highest I loose myself, To the deep crevasse I hide And in this darkness that I bring myself into; I would not overcome alone, without my arms around you Sobbing…Crying… in my racking tremors and weakening eruptions. * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan Mandaluyong City, Philippines amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com *** visit me also at www.amielroldan.tk www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com ******

January 29, 2000 Whenever I wake up, and the mist of slumber still reigns, I glance around in fear on what this dream might be. So compelling it beckons to dread, that I could only feel icicles and coldness in my body. Shivering oddly wanting it this time to be real. * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com

December 16, 1999 I took a turn at Malate one early morn, To a place that night has shown a darker mien. Where one lives off the streets to sell one’s wares. And the most who travel knew no rest. A place where light fell never to pick itself up; And where one would search endlessly. Never enough, never too much, Just barely to survive the night. Where light illuminating the youth of its twin, not once lightly touched this desolate place. Where, few could be charmed to loose in the shadows, In reminders to forget, a light and know never-ending sorrows. To tempt in this night and to lose oneself, In those searching eyes that would not let me rest, In the covered canopies and the damp corners On hurried passions and wanton sex . I curse the night that teases me, Bullies my body and tempts my soul, To add shades to their sad plight, Mar them again and again to a promise release. Who says that money could offer what most seek? A few tokens for a quickie trick. I could walk the endless n

March 20, 2000 Kangina ko pa hinihintay; Mga binti’y namimintig sa katatayo, Tumatango sa sobrang antok; Pasa’t pagod ang buong katawan, Minsan may matanaw na ilaw pagbati ay nanginginig sa inis; Kung lalampasana’t sesenyasan, na walang magawa; Harurot na usok tila’y sinasadya, Ampiyas nang ulan sinusugod mapara lang; Mga matang mapalukso ng puso, mukhang alam na di hihinto. * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com

March 19, 2000 Sa gabing maraming nagdaraang tao; Ang iba sa ligaya ang iba sa trabaho, Kung pagmamasdan ay maaliw ka; Dahil tila’y patungong sa kanya-kanya. Ewan ko ba kung malalaman ng sangkatauhan, ang generasyong leksyon na itinuturo sa kanya. Kung walang preno at pagunawa. Hoy nasa kanto ka na ! Batikos ko sa buhay na gabi’y, “Bakit nakangiti ka sa anak ng araw?” Dahil ba siya ay likas na magandang puta? O dahil ba sa balat niya’y iba? * * * AAmiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com

March 19, 2000 Two people making out in the cover of the night Grabbing each other ever so tight; Kneading and rubbing, Throbbing and willing for each; On silent rhythms of flesh, Echoing the mind’s search for a sweet release. A passion borne from within, To a long journey that comes to a rest. A last gasp for warm air, In seeking a silent contentment. So willingly given, So small a pain to survive, To keep the long shadows of loneliness, In this ever temporal rites. A silent watcher to a passionate exchange, On cruel darkness that mars the face. Surrendering to the last hurried caress, An insistent pressure, A quiet release, only the one other could satisfy. * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.c

July 16, 2002 To shed a thousand tears, bewail a sorrow borne on fallen shoulders; You, angst ridden ! Fall not and pick yourself up. Fuel your anger with pride Bewail the inopportune Fight the rawness Bring out the cry… * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com ******

July 16, 2002 Nightmares cast their own in sleep, A rest in eternity, Brass and gold tombs, guided sermons and a plastic bed. * * * Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. amiel_roldan@yahoo.com amiel.roldan@gmail.com

April 19, 2001 A year has gone and past Bleakness in its wake As I gather my friends close I couldn't help but wonder Who would I hold closest? To wish that things remain steadfast And people stay the same Events to stay clear In one's fate to shine forth. On the eve of Christmas a birth marks a rest To the trials of the year. In the quiet understanding That we are brothers of the same keep. * * * *** A Disclosure for My Blogs My Humble Apologies to Everyone. I wish I had the patience to edit and reedit my writings / paint and repaint works.         I know I missed a lot of errors.         I tend to drag, digress, compromise, and be emotional about accounts.         A typical OCD.         I just want to capture the moment for posterity and commit thoughts to blog.         Staring at a blank piece of paper, I just want to make my marks.         I enjoy writing and will continue until the end.         I enjoy editing and repainting.         Live life fully.         I don't in

April 21, 2001 Scratch. Scratch. Scratch. I like the sound of nails scrapping wood… metal… glass… To feel my hair on end To feel the rush of anxiety To hear the sound of thumping Of cries and body slamming, Of murmurs so great. Tearing lumps of flesh apart Of scents of dampness and sweat. The roaring sounds shout in my ears Adrenaline rushing through my veins, Excitement and fear Disappointment and anger As the mist and haze approach As weakness sets in Fighting forms on the mat Opposing bodies of meat 1… 2… 3… 4… the count goes on as one struggles a clear winner ! of dogs in mortal feat. Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like my compilations. am

December 1999 It was more than a year since the artist place along Manila East Road Hi-way, Angono, Rizal brought us shows more noted for vision like Anino, Sound Art, Pasa at Pasanin, Philippine Underground Illustration, Dog Show, Handheld, Kitchy -Kitchy Koo, Perfect Conditions, Pass and recently, State of Water. It introduced young artists like Louie Cordero, Geraldine Javier, Ronald Ananding, Alice and Lucinda, Lirio Salvador, Alvin Zafra, Carlos Francisco III, Wilfredo Offemaria, Jayson Oliveria, Rodel Rillera & Michael Muñoz, and exhibits by groups like Elemento and the Angono Young Artists. Most interesting and quite singular is the series by young artist Louie Cordero, that included works like "Attack Of the Killer Pancit Canton" & "Godzilla vs. Mickey Mouse”. One could expect the coming annual shows, Colony on November 19, 1999 and Dog Show in December to be much bigger and better than ever with the simultaneous openings in the two Surrounded By

November 19, 1999 The earlier eighties and nineties had a definite overwhelming support for the art culture of the Philippines. There was awareness in most parts of the art scene for change and novelties alongside the more accepted art forms seem to strike apace for even the most hardened critic. The proof is that most sought to be part of the art scene. Most were supportive of what should earn distinctions and admiration for good works, better artists, simple venues and professional people behind great and memorable shows. It could be said that it was an era of well-informed audiences and a critical and discerning public. The dawn of a new millennium prove to be anti-climatic, for few raved out the chance to break their monotonous existence and apathy which helped give birth to the newest baby culture: the A-R-S functions. It promised the most of what creative thinkers dreamed of : the dark head of youthful idealism in reality. With the right foundations, better artists to run,

October 10, 1998 A person’s life is not always an uncharted journey --- where one may find only the unexpected adventure. For each accomplishment we gain for the day accumulates to something greater at its end. Each step that one takes lead to a preplanned destination. Sometimes, knowing what one might encounter on the path before one has yet to finish it. We can neither ignore today something small nor insignificant. From these we learn most of life’s intricacies and subtleties. From these we start mapping on life’s complexities and simplicities as we gain distance on its “Whys ?” Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™ Mandaluyong City, Philippines *** visit me at www.amiel-roldan.tk www.amielroldan.tk www.amielaceremoroldan.tk at my blogs: www.amielroldan.wordpress.com www.amielroldan.blogspot.com www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan please comment and tag if you like m

October 11, 2002 Is there a place for ethics and decency in the Philippine Visual Arts? Both ethics and decency reflect proper manner or norm. Yet we could hardly establish what is ‘norm’ in our society. What the majority does and agrees upon is basically normal. Yet simply put in does limit its parameters. What we term ‘right’ offers another difference. It connotes simply what is humane for all involved. Now we apply it to the ethics and decency amidst us and we define it as the proper manner, actions, state of mind that embody what is right and humane for what the whole community requires and would require. In a community it is the balance met and will be met that projects the manner of Philippine arts. Is there a place for the young artists? Young people had for a time been inspirational for most of the developments in the Philippines today. Their contributions had marked and been monumental in most of the changes. It had been quite revolutionary in the Philippine context. Well, m