Poems and Compilations 1999
the f’kin clean blogging slate
April 14, 2008, 4:34 am
I wonder what would it feel like to have a clean slate? To be in a new place with no strings and no baggage. To go back to basics. Think of living at a residence with a plate number - the trunk of your car. Have all your personal things, photos and your resumes handy in your yahoo email. Just worry about parking space for the day if I would go as far as to keep a car. Just be free with your locker, fitness first gym program, a steady job, your wallet, cell phone, laptop and credit cards, a post box to keep mail and a blog website to track you down…I would sleep under the stars and swim in uncharted waters. Blog all day on unlimited internet. Dwell on the mysteries of what to eat the next hour. Muse the beauty of simplicity. Just writing thoughts. Experience fleeting images of everyday routine and not be affected by it. Picture overload on 360 degrees of happenings! Gimiks and nightlife to the max! Make your major choices every day and live on it for the night. No room for regrets. Wander the streets with just the shirt on your back and a splash of cologne. Be a traveler of the land. Be a king amongst men. Be a blogger madman. Be a gypsy in a city!
I want to try this now. I want to be irresponsible in this stage of life. I want to feel this free. Apply everything as if your whole life depends on that day’s outcome. I want to let go of what connects me for just one minute and feel this uncertainly certain of what could be. I want to sleep in a place that feels like a king’s room. Eat at a king’s table and live a vagabond’s dream… It would surely make me think of putting in money in my accounts and setting up cash flow to support this. I would not be able to leave my job but keep more opportunities to paint, to draw and to find my muse. I want to just own a pencil and find paper around to draw. I want to leave my drawing every time I finished it. Not to look back at my children - my blood. Not to worry if they would end up as someone’s prize possession or just overlooked trash. I want to cut strings and take gambles. To charge my phone in public places. Not have a residence under my name or an address to keep me anchored. Just to keep a PO box for my mail and to have nothing but a thought where to sleep for the night. I would wash my hands in public places to keep my things in small sachets. Not wear underwear and have everyone not know the difference. Buy my socks a piece a day. I would have separate treasure troves around the city to keep me mobile. Small laundry bags of clothes. Not worry about my place burning to the ground or be disturb day and night with a neighbor’s daily squabbles. Sleep in a hotel every other night. Not see a familiar face because you have none to be familiar with. Everyone is a new face. An always acquaintance in a city millions. I would not be afraid of walking again around the streets because I live on the streets. I would have my secret identity in work as I become a superhero after I finish my hour shift. Books, cherished possessions, trinkets of memories, sentimental objects, things of pleasure, papers of degrees, trophies of successes, symbols of wealth and signs of prestige are what makes me want to stay in one place - to ground myself and to be safe. To be plain. Losing my identity and being part of a mindless shit. Settle for retirement and expect my pension when I get to my sixties. That is still in 25 years. I want to live more. To know I’ve done this. To die on the streets if I have to. I don’t want to wait that long. I’ve done with this hibernation and I’m off to my hiatus. My Shangrila is the world and I have not scratched it yet and made my trail. I don't want to say that I will go there someday. I want to go there today. I am living my life as I’ve always dreamed of. I tried to conform all my life. I’m breaking free. Thinking back, I promised myself to not be constrained with adults ways of thinking. I want to have a child’s outlook. I want my sleep and not wake up to go to school. I want to play in the rain and not go inside. I want to have a holiday every day. To spend my allowance on candies and toys. To wear my clothes for the whole day. Not to wear slippers. To be carefree and irresponsible. Mundane living has caught up with me and I am bucking up. I don’t want to harm people but I just want to be left alone. I see it clearly now that I will not bend nor give up my simple things for the complexities of a promised reward. I want to do as William Blake would put it “to see a whole world in a grain of sand”. This is what I want. Just mellow on life, sip my tea and living it to the full. April 14, 2008.
finding the lost… do you want to now?
April 13, 2008, 12:48 am
last night i got talking with anthony v. about loved ones in the states… he was separted from his ex and four kids and with a lowly income than he used to have… what can one do to with this dealt set of cards? immigrate i told him… half of worrying is missing your kids and not seeing them grow up…told him to look up www.murthy .com just to asses one’s chances of being able to go there and legally stay there…heck it! you should do something about your situation…don’t dwell on muck…your choices were yours in the first place…live for the day…reasses and move forward…make the best of your choices always…
finding you children in the internet might seem romantic but realistically i would still prefer you apply legally for visits and establish contact… hell his wife is smart to establish herself away from everything that would pull her down…vengeance is good with you not around to be guilty about the plight of someone you hate…
i have family members in the same plight… well that’s another story or stories…but its an ugly business of children against parents…of growing old and no memories to keep you warm any day..forgiving and looking past missed chances, barely keeping hope up and continuously straining a few cherished memories to live through..elevating it to pedestal qualities…realistically overlooking the sane and the real.
it takes two to tango but a band always plays the music. fighting couples often forget that each hateful words or angry stare wounds not only the other but what they borne.
i hope my children would love me unconditionally… making me realize that powerful emotion of protection i take for granted… we were a family of a few words but unsaid things have equal measures as said ones. i hope my young ones would understand me. but do i do for my own parents? i hope i can be forgiven my worst mistakes but do i forgive others theirs with no strings attached.
as i write this i know i have not forgiven many but they forgave me a long time ago…i have not let go of my pride and have never given myself fully…afraid always of not meeting the measure of life… april 13 2008
Farting A Relationship
April 12, 2008, 3:37 am
Farting A Relationship
I haven’t given myself a chance for a relationship to start. Afraid that I would fail and that the perfect would not be complete. I never let go of things I am comfortable with. I never divulged my biggest fear. Too afraid of public humiliation. A sound distinct and recognisable in any language. A hero’s greeting and a villain’s bane. To dispassionate with any emotion. Too inhibited to share. Too safe as many would say. Never once forgotten. Always regetted. A release of sentiments to share. Lighting up a match like a beacon of purity.
At this stage of my life I attained greatness but not shared with anyone in defeat. I pushed away people before I get hurt. I hurted before I would commit. Life can be so simple if one just let go.
I wish I would not cringe when I fart and think I made a mistake. Like an open ‘hi’ and a warm escaping cry. Beautiful is it?
I wish people would fart when they greet you. Like a ‘helleor!’ The exchanges between earthly people. Ah! life is so complicated at times. We make it harder still when we keep it inside or blaming it with looks at other people. April 12, 2008
******
Dare You .. Last Night for the Young
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
I was at Malate Manila after an exhibit opening at the Cultural Center of the Philippines with acquiantances. Cris Rollo, Alex Magno, Arman Santos, M Cabagnot and et al… Penguin Cafe was packed. Still it was cozy. I wanted to catch up on people. Sid was in Vermont at that time. Arman called him up and we said regards. Lucky Sid being able to travel with a grant from ACC and Vermont Studio Centre. I wanted to talk about art with some of these new friends after a self-imposed hibernation. Philosophy was a good start …M Cabagnot threw alot of ideas… Hmmmm… Can we steer back to Art.. Yet it quickly turned into a penchant for gossip…Did you or did you not have anything to do with this person? It became ackward at some point… I just wanted it cleared for the record… Being too naive I always avoided confrontations and being personal most of the times…Still it was a good night… Met new acquaintances and just relaxed…I was uneasy with my new impressions, new habits and ideas…Body gestures that are best to let pass. I wanted a connection to the past…. Yet maybe it was a bit late now to reminisce.
I missed my old friends… the feeling of being same…I wanted to build something again but I didn’t know where to start…I just missing chances…
I just turned 34… a few weeks back. Maybe I feel sentimental. What did I miss? What the heck am I doing with my life this night? Maybe I would just go home and pleasures of the forgetfulness would be for another night.
A friend is sick and I am very much worried about his condition. It is just what we feared. We had all the warnings yet its just bound to happen. I hope he gets better and keeps improving. I haven’t visited him yet. Maybe next week. A birthday has come and gone with neither a text or a hello. Maybe next week? A personal decision? I pray for him always. I do not want to lose a good friend.Maybe next week? Do I want a new one? Maybe next week? June 29 2006
******
Peregrination
Each individual step that most of us make towards a particular place is propelled by the desire to chart a new destination of experience. To add, each one is faced by factors that oppose and conform to them that even when they begin their search for haven with the same choices they end up in different sides.
It is not always based on aspects of idealism or longings for a Utopia but rather on the choices one make with respect to their environ and being. The reasons why we often need to have our own space to put our dreams, memories and personal memento will be the same reasons why we would stay or move on..
The concept of ‘a peregrination’ is personal search for numerous experiences that make one whole. Thus each individual has something to relate on their field of experiences, stories, indoctrination through an exhibit of paintings. It is physically boxing in sentiments, alienation or revelations in a series of works and confronting our contemporary awareness and beliefs in another sujourn.
******
Regents Unite
the art scene should look into themselves, their priorities and upon
their theoretical stand and embody all of them to the fullest extent
that they could afford and sustain. They have been lax and unappreciative with what the atmosphere and opportunities bring and
have been major detractors and confused critics rather than a balm and catalyst to health and growth, in that same order, to all the people
concerned.
******
Goals and Aspirations
**July 8, 2000
Priorities seem to materialize as one matures enough to understand the many intricacies of life and develop their goals and aspirations.
Constantly realigning yourself in the ever chaotic turmoil of everyday decision-making has a sobering affect like a dunk in icy water.
We are not famous nor significant people to many but we constitute the norm and embody the traits of aspiring and self-worthy generation. We are the young artists.
The visibility of the young artists in the arts has been much on the minds of a lot of those expecting another phase in the Philippines art scene.
The younger people of the arts are geared up and expected to fill in the void. Here we should take in consideration that when these young people embody this vision of empowerment they should lead to the development and the continuation of what history has provided us for the Philippine arts. Young people tend to negate the history we inherit and null any advancement. Any major art contributions still remain fads or gimmicks of the age that as soon as is seen soaring would plummet back after the novelty wore off. Thus we remain reactionary in every action that we take and here we all lose. We remain as the rebels of the other cause and not the persons of worth we ought to be in practice. We should be aware of our history and particularly where we start from.
We have to visualize the idea and definition of the young artists to mean a person regardless of age or practice with a vision to improve the Philippine Arts to its full potential while striving to improve a worthy self to embody them. Redefining perceptions of the players is only one small step to rediscover our path. Creating appreciation, support and venues would propel the arts amidst it global brothers.
******
The Promise
*** December 1999
Man seeks the destiny on his own to find;
A path to choose to walk alone,
Be one with another but first seek contentment in self;
Find the truth in lies and the lies in honesty.
****
The Semblance
**** March 2000
I glance at a reflected image,
only to see the imperfections of life.
To glance at a simple reality,
through eyes of a beholder.
Complex is man that he weaves a pain so consuming,
To bring out a cry from the depths of his soul.
Only to understand the thin layer of fulfillment,
He has already thrown away.
I saw a bitter truth in the eyes of my peers.
A helplessness with what we have.
The singleness of defeat.
Multiplicity in our failures.
Never again would I ask for what they could not give.
For I could not bring them to the lows I’ve been.
All the questions unanswered and all the answers unheard,
Warp not the image I have for I am weak.
I wanted to run from these that remind me of my misery
but I only seem to go in circles.
Repetitious upheavals in the minutest turns.
Uncomfortable in all its being.
The smallest I hold precious to my heart,
and the greats I could never let go.
They are all my rivets of calm,
that anchor me solid to ground.
A nodule of paranoia.
A lost soul too pitiful to find lost.
Struggling with what life gave,
and so helpless in the elements that it thrives on.
Herald death to my doorstep at my greatest,
but do not I beg of you, in my defeat.
Bring me to fruition in my redemption
Fulfillment in my simple image.
******
we do not believe in harming other people…we condemn the g2 horror…
October 21, 2007, 4:39 am
i do not believe in harming people… live your life to the fullest without stepping on others… without causing them to suffer…without harm… i used to walk around malls just to relieve the stress of work…to clear one’s thoughts… to contemplate…to enjoy the simple things that i could do for free…to wish that i could save up for a good life…to breathe deeply ….away from outside polluted air…life is hard ….it could be harder…it is a struggle…fate deals us her hand…. there are no more spaces that one could go around the concrete cities that we brought upon ouselves… yet oasis still sprouts in the lively people… of children and of families…of young people and of old … we are so carefree… the beauty of being alive and the goodness of helping others…the sincerity and life amidst commodities….we do have that… we want to hear voices around us in laughter ..in joy….we seek to be with love ones…. when one is not secure in these simple leisures then we have nothing left to be proud of… the glorietta 2 event left us with nothing more than hate and an unfilipino bad taste… We of the smiling faces no longer could say that we have more in life to look forward to…. a hope….a goal… a chance to be better… the struggle uphill is lost….when we destroy lives we don’t give hope…we stop it…we betray living… stop the hate….stop the killings… help your fellows live their lives to the fullest…be filipino…. october 20, 2007
******
im living in cebu city for a while
August 19, 2007, 4:51 am
work needs to be fun. just transferred to cebu. have an apartment all my own for a while. hope to paint and relax.
It’s great here! I keep in mind that i dont have to rush on doing everything here possible… I like to know i have options and choices and they are much more here…There is always the international airport just less than hour away if i want to think of grander escapades…I want to start a business here and I have less connections here than in manila but I have more chances of keeping it up and affording it… I just feel that with so many things much closer here, I would have more fun…heheheehe.. i would suggest though to move here to start afresh..lie low and just observe…manila has to miss me too…it less grander and cosmopolitan here than makati but hey i’ve been to nyc and am not complaining…its a place for hiatus and getting missed…missing people..knowing your priorities…knowing your are a priority…we’ll party next time…
august 20, 2007.
*****
on a new job and a new place…
July 18, 2007, 10:23 pm
well, i did it. i just upped and called for a major upheaval. volunteered that is for a brand new life. am moving in a week’s time to cebu to work there. i get a house, living expenses and relocation allowances on top of salary adjustment. i am a bit sad that i would be leaving behind friends and family. well not for long though, as excitement just overwhelms me. i just can’t believe that i am finally nearer my dreams of independence and painting in peace. will visit the beach soon. lie under the sun, play with my dog on the sand and hold a major account. Yesss!!!. will meet new people. i finally have a studio and an apartment and a place to call all my own. what more could a single guy ask for… i just regret that i cant continue my classes at up diliman but up cebu beckons. we never stop learning and i could just concentrate on languages this year.i just can’t believe it’s real!!!! will be busy this week with all the details. but friends are always welcome to stay. but not for long. will invite my friends abroad to cebu and imbibe on the air. so bye for now… july 19, 2007
******
April 14, 2008, 4:34 am
I wonder what would it feel like to have a clean slate? To be in a new place with no strings and no baggage. To go back to basics. Think of living at a residence with a plate number - the trunk of your car. Have all your personal things, photos and your resumes handy in your yahoo email. Just worry about parking space for the day if I would go as far as to keep a car. Just be free with your locker, fitness first gym program, a steady job, your wallet, cell phone, laptop and credit cards, a post box to keep mail and a blog website to track you down…I would sleep under the stars and swim in uncharted waters. Blog all day on unlimited internet. Dwell on the mysteries of what to eat the next hour. Muse the beauty of simplicity. Just writing thoughts. Experience fleeting images of everyday routine and not be affected by it. Picture overload on 360 degrees of happenings! Gimiks and nightlife to the max! Make your major choices every day and live on it for the night. No room for regrets. Wander the streets with just the shirt on your back and a splash of cologne. Be a traveler of the land. Be a king amongst men. Be a blogger madman. Be a gypsy in a city!
I want to try this now. I want to be irresponsible in this stage of life. I want to feel this free. Apply everything as if your whole life depends on that day’s outcome. I want to let go of what connects me for just one minute and feel this uncertainly certain of what could be. I want to sleep in a place that feels like a king’s room. Eat at a king’s table and live a vagabond’s dream… It would surely make me think of putting in money in my accounts and setting up cash flow to support this. I would not be able to leave my job but keep more opportunities to paint, to draw and to find my muse. I want to just own a pencil and find paper around to draw. I want to leave my drawing every time I finished it. Not to look back at my children - my blood. Not to worry if they would end up as someone’s prize possession or just overlooked trash. I want to cut strings and take gambles. To charge my phone in public places. Not have a residence under my name or an address to keep me anchored. Just to keep a PO box for my mail and to have nothing but a thought where to sleep for the night. I would wash my hands in public places to keep my things in small sachets. Not wear underwear and have everyone not know the difference. Buy my socks a piece a day. I would have separate treasure troves around the city to keep me mobile. Small laundry bags of clothes. Not worry about my place burning to the ground or be disturb day and night with a neighbor’s daily squabbles. Sleep in a hotel every other night. Not see a familiar face because you have none to be familiar with. Everyone is a new face. An always acquaintance in a city millions. I would not be afraid of walking again around the streets because I live on the streets. I would have my secret identity in work as I become a superhero after I finish my hour shift. Books, cherished possessions, trinkets of memories, sentimental objects, things of pleasure, papers of degrees, trophies of successes, symbols of wealth and signs of prestige are what makes me want to stay in one place - to ground myself and to be safe. To be plain. Losing my identity and being part of a mindless shit. Settle for retirement and expect my pension when I get to my sixties. That is still in 25 years. I want to live more. To know I’ve done this. To die on the streets if I have to. I don’t want to wait that long. I’ve done with this hibernation and I’m off to my hiatus. My Shangrila is the world and I have not scratched it yet and made my trail. I don't want to say that I will go there someday. I want to go there today. I am living my life as I’ve always dreamed of. I tried to conform all my life. I’m breaking free. Thinking back, I promised myself to not be constrained with adults ways of thinking. I want to have a child’s outlook. I want my sleep and not wake up to go to school. I want to play in the rain and not go inside. I want to have a holiday every day. To spend my allowance on candies and toys. To wear my clothes for the whole day. Not to wear slippers. To be carefree and irresponsible. Mundane living has caught up with me and I am bucking up. I don’t want to harm people but I just want to be left alone. I see it clearly now that I will not bend nor give up my simple things for the complexities of a promised reward. I want to do as William Blake would put it “to see a whole world in a grain of sand”. This is what I want. Just mellow on life, sip my tea and living it to the full. April 14, 2008.
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
************
finding the lost… do you want to now?
April 13, 2008, 12:48 am
last night i got talking with anthony v. about loved ones in the states… he was separted from his ex and four kids and with a lowly income than he used to have… what can one do to with this dealt set of cards? immigrate i told him… half of worrying is missing your kids and not seeing them grow up…told him to look up www.murthy .com just to asses one’s chances of being able to go there and legally stay there…heck it! you should do something about your situation…don’t dwell on muck…your choices were yours in the first place…live for the day…reasses and move forward…make the best of your choices always…
finding you children in the internet might seem romantic but realistically i would still prefer you apply legally for visits and establish contact… hell his wife is smart to establish herself away from everything that would pull her down…vengeance is good with you not around to be guilty about the plight of someone you hate…
i have family members in the same plight… well that’s another story or stories…but its an ugly business of children against parents…of growing old and no memories to keep you warm any day..forgiving and looking past missed chances, barely keeping hope up and continuously straining a few cherished memories to live through..elevating it to pedestal qualities…realistically overlooking the sane and the real.
it takes two to tango but a band always plays the music. fighting couples often forget that each hateful words or angry stare wounds not only the other but what they borne.
i hope my children would love me unconditionally… making me realize that powerful emotion of protection i take for granted… we were a family of a few words but unsaid things have equal measures as said ones. i hope my young ones would understand me. but do i do for my own parents? i hope i can be forgiven my worst mistakes but do i forgive others theirs with no strings attached.
as i write this i know i have not forgiven many but they forgave me a long time ago…i have not let go of my pride and have never given myself fully…afraid always of not meeting the measure of life… april 13 2008
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
**********
Farting A Relationship
April 12, 2008, 3:37 am
Farting A Relationship
I haven’t given myself a chance for a relationship to start. Afraid that I would fail and that the perfect would not be complete. I never let go of things I am comfortable with. I never divulged my biggest fear. Too afraid of public humiliation. A sound distinct and recognisable in any language. A hero’s greeting and a villain’s bane. To dispassionate with any emotion. Too inhibited to share. Too safe as many would say. Never once forgotten. Always regetted. A release of sentiments to share. Lighting up a match like a beacon of purity.
At this stage of my life I attained greatness but not shared with anyone in defeat. I pushed away people before I get hurt. I hurted before I would commit. Life can be so simple if one just let go.
I wish I would not cringe when I fart and think I made a mistake. Like an open ‘hi’ and a warm escaping cry. Beautiful is it?
I wish people would fart when they greet you. Like a ‘helleor!’ The exchanges between earthly people. Ah! life is so complicated at times. We make it harder still when we keep it inside or blaming it with looks at other people. April 12, 2008
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
******
Dare You .. Last Night for the Young
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan
I was at Malate Manila after an exhibit opening at the Cultural Center of the Philippines with acquiantances. Cris Rollo, Alex Magno, Arman Santos, M Cabagnot and et al… Penguin Cafe was packed. Still it was cozy. I wanted to catch up on people. Sid was in Vermont at that time. Arman called him up and we said regards. Lucky Sid being able to travel with a grant from ACC and Vermont Studio Centre. I wanted to talk about art with some of these new friends after a self-imposed hibernation. Philosophy was a good start …M Cabagnot threw alot of ideas… Hmmmm… Can we steer back to Art.. Yet it quickly turned into a penchant for gossip…Did you or did you not have anything to do with this person? It became ackward at some point… I just wanted it cleared for the record… Being too naive I always avoided confrontations and being personal most of the times…Still it was a good night… Met new acquaintances and just relaxed…I was uneasy with my new impressions, new habits and ideas…Body gestures that are best to let pass. I wanted a connection to the past…. Yet maybe it was a bit late now to reminisce.
I missed my old friends… the feeling of being same…I wanted to build something again but I didn’t know where to start…I just missing chances…
I just turned 34… a few weeks back. Maybe I feel sentimental. What did I miss? What the heck am I doing with my life this night? Maybe I would just go home and pleasures of the forgetfulness would be for another night.
A friend is sick and I am very much worried about his condition. It is just what we feared. We had all the warnings yet its just bound to happen. I hope he gets better and keeps improving. I haven’t visited him yet. Maybe next week. A birthday has come and gone with neither a text or a hello. Maybe next week? A personal decision? I pray for him always. I do not want to lose a good friend.Maybe next week? Do I want a new one? Maybe next week? June 29 2006
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
******
Peregrination
Each individual step that most of us make towards a particular place is propelled by the desire to chart a new destination of experience. To add, each one is faced by factors that oppose and conform to them that even when they begin their search for haven with the same choices they end up in different sides.
It is not always based on aspects of idealism or longings for a Utopia but rather on the choices one make with respect to their environ and being. The reasons why we often need to have our own space to put our dreams, memories and personal memento will be the same reasons why we would stay or move on..
The concept of ‘a peregrination’ is personal search for numerous experiences that make one whole. Thus each individual has something to relate on their field of experiences, stories, indoctrination through an exhibit of paintings. It is physically boxing in sentiments, alienation or revelations in a series of works and confronting our contemporary awareness and beliefs in another sujourn.
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
******
Regents Unite
the art scene should look into themselves, their priorities and upon
their theoretical stand and embody all of them to the fullest extent
that they could afford and sustain. They have been lax and unappreciative with what the atmosphere and opportunities bring and
have been major detractors and confused critics rather than a balm and catalyst to health and growth, in that same order, to all the people
concerned.
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
******
Goals and Aspirations
**July 8, 2000
Priorities seem to materialize as one matures enough to understand the many intricacies of life and develop their goals and aspirations.
Constantly realigning yourself in the ever chaotic turmoil of everyday decision-making has a sobering affect like a dunk in icy water.
We are not famous nor significant people to many but we constitute the norm and embody the traits of aspiring and self-worthy generation. We are the young artists.
The visibility of the young artists in the arts has been much on the minds of a lot of those expecting another phase in the Philippines art scene.
The younger people of the arts are geared up and expected to fill in the void. Here we should take in consideration that when these young people embody this vision of empowerment they should lead to the development and the continuation of what history has provided us for the Philippine arts. Young people tend to negate the history we inherit and null any advancement. Any major art contributions still remain fads or gimmicks of the age that as soon as is seen soaring would plummet back after the novelty wore off. Thus we remain reactionary in every action that we take and here we all lose. We remain as the rebels of the other cause and not the persons of worth we ought to be in practice. We should be aware of our history and particularly where we start from.
We have to visualize the idea and definition of the young artists to mean a person regardless of age or practice with a vision to improve the Philippine Arts to its full potential while striving to improve a worthy self to embody them. Redefining perceptions of the players is only one small step to rediscover our path. Creating appreciation, support and venues would propel the arts amidst it global brothers.
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
******
The Promise
*** December 1999
Man seeks the destiny on his own to find;
A path to choose to walk alone,
Be one with another but first seek contentment in self;
Find the truth in lies and the lies in honesty.
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
****
The Semblance
**** March 2000
I glance at a reflected image,
only to see the imperfections of life.
To glance at a simple reality,
through eyes of a beholder.
Complex is man that he weaves a pain so consuming,
To bring out a cry from the depths of his soul.
Only to understand the thin layer of fulfillment,
He has already thrown away.
I saw a bitter truth in the eyes of my peers.
A helplessness with what we have.
The singleness of defeat.
Multiplicity in our failures.
Never again would I ask for what they could not give.
For I could not bring them to the lows I’ve been.
All the questions unanswered and all the answers unheard,
Warp not the image I have for I am weak.
I wanted to run from these that remind me of my misery
but I only seem to go in circles.
Repetitious upheavals in the minutest turns.
Uncomfortable in all its being.
The smallest I hold precious to my heart,
and the greats I could never let go.
They are all my rivets of calm,
that anchor me solid to ground.
A nodule of paranoia.
A lost soul too pitiful to find lost.
Struggling with what life gave,
and so helpless in the elements that it thrives on.
Herald death to my doorstep at my greatest,
but do not I beg of you, in my defeat.
Bring me to fruition in my redemption
Fulfillment in my simple image.
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
******
we do not believe in harming other people…we condemn the g2 horror…
October 21, 2007, 4:39 am
i do not believe in harming people… live your life to the fullest without stepping on others… without causing them to suffer…without harm… i used to walk around malls just to relieve the stress of work…to clear one’s thoughts… to contemplate…to enjoy the simple things that i could do for free…to wish that i could save up for a good life…to breathe deeply ….away from outside polluted air…life is hard ….it could be harder…it is a struggle…fate deals us her hand…. there are no more spaces that one could go around the concrete cities that we brought upon ouselves… yet oasis still sprouts in the lively people… of children and of families…of young people and of old … we are so carefree… the beauty of being alive and the goodness of helping others…the sincerity and life amidst commodities….we do have that… we want to hear voices around us in laughter ..in joy….we seek to be with love ones…. when one is not secure in these simple leisures then we have nothing left to be proud of… the glorietta 2 event left us with nothing more than hate and an unfilipino bad taste… We of the smiling faces no longer could say that we have more in life to look forward to…. a hope….a goal… a chance to be better… the struggle uphill is lost….when we destroy lives we don’t give hope…we stop it…we betray living… stop the hate….stop the killings… help your fellows live their lives to the fullest…be filipino…. october 20, 2007
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
******
im living in cebu city for a while
August 19, 2007, 4:51 am
work needs to be fun. just transferred to cebu. have an apartment all my own for a while. hope to paint and relax.
It’s great here! I keep in mind that i dont have to rush on doing everything here possible… I like to know i have options and choices and they are much more here…There is always the international airport just less than hour away if i want to think of grander escapades…I want to start a business here and I have less connections here than in manila but I have more chances of keeping it up and affording it… I just feel that with so many things much closer here, I would have more fun…heheheehe.. i would suggest though to move here to start afresh..lie low and just observe…manila has to miss me too…it less grander and cosmopolitan here than makati but hey i’ve been to nyc and am not complaining…its a place for hiatus and getting missed…missing people..knowing your priorities…knowing your are a priority…we’ll party next time…
august 20, 2007.
*****
on a new job and a new place…
July 18, 2007, 10:23 pm
well, i did it. i just upped and called for a major upheaval. volunteered that is for a brand new life. am moving in a week’s time to cebu to work there. i get a house, living expenses and relocation allowances on top of salary adjustment. i am a bit sad that i would be leaving behind friends and family. well not for long though, as excitement just overwhelms me. i just can’t believe that i am finally nearer my dreams of independence and painting in peace. will visit the beach soon. lie under the sun, play with my dog on the sand and hold a major account. Yesss!!!. will meet new people. i finally have a studio and an apartment and a place to call all my own. what more could a single guy ask for… i just regret that i cant continue my classes at up diliman but up cebu beckons. we never stop learning and i could just concentrate on languages this year.i just can’t believe it’s real!!!! will be busy this week with all the details. but friends are always welcome to stay. but not for long. will invite my friends abroad to cebu and imbibe on the air. so bye for now… july 19, 2007
Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
*** visit me at
www.amiel-roldan.tk
www.amielroldan.tk
www.amielaceremoroldan.tk
at my blogs:
www.amielroldan.wordpress.com
www.amielroldan.blogspot.com
www.fineartamerica.com/profiles/a-g-roldan.html
www.myspace.com/amiel_roldan
www.amiel_roldan.multiply.com
www.face-pic.com/amiel_roldan
please comment and tag if you like my compilations.
amiel_roldan@yahoo.com
amiel.roldan@gmail.com
******
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