A Very Personal Event... Bobi V

February 3, 2009, 10:35 am
****11 30 2008

I learned at this time about Roberto “Bobi V .”   Valenzuela's condition... Lying prone in ER a shadow of the then stalwart figure in Philippine Arts.   A familiar face to most of us. An art personality.   Why is my friend not smiling?   This is my teacher and mentor… I have been away far too long… A mentor in his prime who similarly had multiple ischlemic strokes like my dad… He is very close to me and being helpless about his situation drove me mad and stressful at times when I had to stay away... Fate brings us challenges that make us shine forth.   Throughout the years that Bobi V. has been with us he shines brilliantly.   This is my lifelong friend.

He had prepared for his condition.   He was forewarned with his initial aneurysms to take his medicine, consult his doctors and to slow down.   A sinking feeling that not all could be addressed nor overcome without preparation.   Guiding him initially past on his first stroke was our challenge then and he succeeded... After this, he could hardly slow down... A second chance in life was taken with heedless exuberance with what was happening around - to throw caution to the wind... It is true that when the passions for art claim us it would never let us go until we excel or fail.   It always claims a greater responsibility, accountability and lifelong sacrifice.

Like meteors we only glimpse them a few seconds before they shimmer their brightest and spread across the landscape as the finest dust we breathe....   Bobi V., like anyone on top of his field, always feels invincible and there would be lapses.   When even brilliance gives way to the frailty of health.   Our own fate to face sometimes.   Challenging one's own is what drives us to great ideas... Challenging others leads to greatness for all... Challenging fate there is none that could do it indefinitely.   Bobi V. led us to be better persons and challenged the best artists that we could be.

He had a third stroke and this brought him to a complete stop and to me a realization that there would be others in my family who might encounter the same fate... He is my mentor, friend and second father... I know this man loves me so much… I am not ashamed that I do too… “I love you so much Bobi V.”

He was a father that I talked with because my father rarely did with me... He is a good friend... I can help again... can't I?   I could nurture and help him heal again... Give a little more sanity despite his condition?   This person gave me a lasting friendship and a sense of pride.

I remembered an incident with Bobi Valenzuela.   After a few months of recovering from his first stroke.  I dared him to cross the streets of Mandaluyong and we went to Mega Art Center... I then saw my thesis professor across also recuperating from his own bout sporting a cane.   Hearing how there was always a misunderstanding between these two prominent figures in the Arts and always confounded by misled followers... escalating to civility in so many occasions.   I had blistered ears from so many hours of class under this great teacher of the University with my ideas and inept paintings to prove that.   I dared curator Bobi Valenzuela to cross the floor and greet Professor Roberto Chabet.   Having Bobi V. at my side and my thesis professor across I could hardly breathe.   Let this pass as a tribute to understanding and the good outcome of my thesis....   Ha!   ha!   Ha!   Ha!   Ha!   Both having worked unknown on my drafts as I challenged both to best figure out my thesis concept then titled "Procession."

The seconds ticked as both proud men saw and acknowledged each other across the seemingly small Mega Mall 4th floor... Professor Chabet could hardly ignore me as I was his most challenging student then nor I'm sure that anyone would back down to the inevitable confrontation.   These are the two people closest to my epitome of what I would like to be.   It struggled for minutes as they closed the distance.   They met, exchanged a few words and shook hands to bury forever doubt on where they stood - and parallel in encouraging greater works from Filipino artists with their organized and well curated shows.   They then went back on their own way...

I wanted to pipe out to have coffee together but conceded that this was better left unsaid... Especially with Bobi content at my side.   And peace on getting back the pride of being one of the best in his generation.   Realizing I might end up paying for the coffee too and a threat of harsher editing on my compositions.   I hurried on.   Tsk.tsk.tsk.

Life of a struggling artist-curator could be bad at times.   These incidents and many more through the years were worth it though - momentous inspirations that I would always carry with me.

I visited the ER and looking at him prone on the bed and eyes cloudy… I sighed… breaking a little inside… It did not help that a litany of prayer for peaceful transition was being recited every half hour… I am crestfallen that it took this long for me to realize what was given to me freely.   I admire this person.

I was jokingly referred to then as "Bobi V.'s Representative" in most of the exhibits he curated.   I had always detailed on whatever was happening.  Woe to the artist exhibiting if he or she so much as took a wrong step or was condescending during the show.

I always challenged his ideas and his exhibits.   Being critical reflects his teachings and being open leads to awareness.   His insights I would always cherish in writing and curating.   I learned to have a good ear and sharper eyes.   Composition played second to the story that the exhibit tells.   A better part of me became a compassionate art lover and a friend to my peers and artists.   A guardian.   We stood witness to most of the challenges that generations of Filipino artists went through.   We became empowered and sought to question and incite for better changes.   This is the parting gift Bobi V. leaves us.   Remember and tell his story.

The once representative looks over the curator and sees the person lying there.   "I am proud of you Bobi Valenzuela."

Everyone was emotional then and I know this was taking a toll on everyone's nerves... I decided I would give something back... A bit of laughter to a very close friend... I laughed and said.   ” Bobi V you would not believe what Nukie did again on last night's exhibit” and I made my second father proud… I even saw him quirk his eyebrow up.   This is Bobi V. that I know.

After ten days, Bobi V. died... Taken from us so abruptly yet with finality... I was in Cebu and flew back to pay my last respect to my curator, mentor, friend and father.   Safe journey my best friend.

*** A Disclosure for My Blogs

My Humble Apologies to Everyone.

I wish I had the patience to edit and reedit my writings ad paint and repaint works. I know I missed a lot of errors. I tend to drag, digress, compromise, and be emotional about accounts. A typical OCD. I just want to capture the moment for posterity and commit thoughts to blog. Staring at a blank piece of paper, I just want to make my marks. I enjoy writing and will continue until the end. I enjoy editing and repainting. Live life fully. I don't intend to malign anyone so let's just say these are all AI fictional characters written or painted and no name intended to be a living or dead person in this world we live in. All creations in this private world are mine and mine alone. lol ...

Amiel Gerald A. Roldan™
Mandaluyong City, Philippines

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When I die I want to be cremated and my love ones to celebrate in white
December 21, 2008, 11:04 pm

We are given a brief time to live in this lifetime… Celebrate it and celebrate the people around you… Find fulfillment in the things you have accomplished and the choices you made… Second chances come rarely for everyone… Make the best of them… Learn from your successes and your failures in equal doses… Find the best people in your lifetime and make your life count… No regrets… Move on and always have closure…

We find joys in simple things and passion in complexities… Journey to our goals add zest to our life… I want my friends and family just to celebrate... I celebrate them and give thanks every minute of my life.. .I give thanks for the simple things that happen and the same goes for the blessings I receive... Accidents happen and mistakes have their toll ... We will learn from them... If you haven't then I pity you. .. If I had ten pesos in my pocket I would be happy that I could take a ride to the mall and walk back home satisfied... I don't want people to wear black and to put old pictures on my coffin.. . Black is for angst... I wore it for a long time... Its a nice color on canvas mixed with yellow... I want no one to put make up on my defenseless body regardless if I blow my brains up or meet a grotesque accident... I just want to live my life and never have to regret... I am happy for what I have accomplished now... If you find that you are not still then go make it happen for the day. .. If I die in pain I want it to be the last... I don't want to make a mockery of living as if I had a bad day sleeping inside the coffin... I don't want memorial pictures of me circulating the web were I have been sporting a bad hairstyle… God forbid that I have my enemies not having their daily dose of nightmare because they got over it by seeing you in your worst… Ha ha ha ha… I would pull the leg of anyone in their sleep every night for taking a video of me when in my worst… I also have the best in store for those posting in good intentions my bad pictures I have in the social network… I wonder where would they get it… I I I'm sure I have deleted them all….

I am happy with my choices and be happy for me... Yes... I would worry about my family and love ones but this is a new adventure for me... Heck I would worry about my nemesis too..
We strive hard to make a mark in the lives of others in our pursuit of surviving and striving to be the best that we can....  I want it to be a witness... I am happy that I have witnessed the lives of people I am close with and celebrated their lives... I have shared their happiness, regrets, failures, successes, wants and their daily routine. .. I want it just that I made a simple difference to be remembered... If they forget now then I am happy because they got over it....   I am always thankful for every second that they remembered an anecdote... a word....   an event... a lifetime... a work... a painting... a conversation... a good word... a bad word... a mistake... an inspiration ... a helping hand … a cup of coffee… a plate of cake… some pasta… and olives… lots of olives… i would be thankful always and please remember that… but get over it and have a life man… I am moving on... I am journeying alone and I am leaving baggage that would not make life easier.... When I die I want to be cremated and my love ones to celebrate in white and tears to be shed in relief... And yes spread my ashes around my worst nemesis' house… His coffee cup would be just fine… Ha ha ha ha ha ha … Amiel Roldan….   12 22 2008

*** A Disclosure for My Blogs

My Humble Apologies to Everyone.

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A Very Personal Event... Bobi V

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